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-   -   DNA testing for an adult child, and which state do I proceed? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=536264)

  • Dec 19, 2010, 09:43 PM
    scpierce
    DNA testing for an adult child, and which state do I proceed?
    My mother and biological father were not married.when I was born, he forced my mother to sign a legal document stating that I am not his and will not claim that I am at any time in the future. My mother married and her husband adopted me when I was 2 and raised me until I left home at 15. My mother gave me the name, address, and phon e number of the man who she days is my fahter. I contacted him. At first, his wife insisted he have the DNA test done, then changed her mind and mentioned te legal document my mother signed. I want to know if this man is my father for many different reasons. I feel that this is my God given right. He feels as if I am not entitled and changed his phone number. I would like to proceed and have this done. He resides in Ohio, I was born in Ohio, I now live in Tennessee. Is there laws that can help me to force the issue? If so, in which state do I file? Any advise? Thanks for listening. Cathy
  • Dec 19, 2010, 09:52 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    No, there is no way you can force him to do any DNA test.

    The paper your mom signed has nothing to do with it, and would not have been binding even on here.

    She could have forced the DNA test when you were a child, but now there is no legal motion or legal action in court that could cause a test to be required.

    And no, sorry you have no " GOD given right" I hope the dad who loved you enough to adopt you, was a good dad and he is your "real" dad since he was the one that was there for you.

    There is nothing to file, so there is no where do I file answer
  • Dec 19, 2010, 10:18 PM
    scpierce
    In a perfect world he should have been there for me... but since we both know it is not perfect, that is not the way that it is. I appreciate you trying to help and advising me with the legal information, but I feel that you are a bit sinister with your opinion, although it was probably well intended. You have your beliefs, as I do, and yes I believe it is my right to know what my father looks like, and what health issues I may have to look forward to. The people in this world are slacking when it comes to responsibility, whether it be accecpting it or taking it. After talking to him, and finding that he is a negative source of emotion, I thought I may let this go, but I am still curious and want to know. Thanks for your input.
  • Dec 19, 2010, 10:34 PM
    J_9

    Legally, since you were adopted at age 2, your biological father is in no way required to submit to a paternity test.

    Again, LEGALLY you don't have a right to this information.
  • Dec 19, 2010, 11:37 PM
    scpierce
    Comment on J_9's post
    Isn't it a shame... people breed like dogs and can have just as much morality.. I am not heart broken, just that society has lost by lack of trying. Thank for your input
  • Dec 19, 2010, 11:45 PM
    J_9

    Yes, it is a shame. I am a labor and delivery nurse, so I see this kind of thing virtually every night that I work.
  • Dec 20, 2010, 01:18 AM
    Synnen

    As a birthmother, I COMPLETELY support the right of biological parents to NOT have to submit to DNA tests. You have absolutely ZERO legal connection to this person, and cannot force a DNA test.

    You have NO RIGHTS to this person's life. Sorry, but the decisions about your life were made for you when you were too young to make them for yourself. I'm all for reunions when BOTH parties want them, but obviously one party in this situation does not.

    I hate to sound harsh here, but you need to get over it. You do NOT have the right to know what he looks like. You do NOT have the right to hear his side of the story. You do NOT have the right to disrupt his life. Your rights end where his start--and his right to privacy is greater than your right to information.

    The ONLY exception to this is if you have a medical condition that requires your medical history---and even then, it has to be done through the courts, and he doesn't have to have ANY contact with you when giving that information if he does not want to.

    Get counseling and learn to live with the fact that your father (the one that raised you) loved you enough to adopt you and legally claim you.

    PS--I wasn't slacking when I chose adoption for my child. I was making a choice based on the best interests of my child. Adoption does NOT equal "slacking".
  • Dec 20, 2010, 04:51 AM
    ScottGem

    So you have been told (and correctly) that you have no legal right absent a medical condition. Your mother wimped out (sorry to say) and signed a piece of paper that had and has no legal bearing. Even if she signed that paper it is NOT legal and if she had gone to court for child support, it would have been thrown out. I mention this only for other people reading this thread who might think such a document would be legal.

    But, since you were adopted by your step father, that adoption ended any legal rights or responsibility of your biological father. This is assuming of course that the adoption was handled legally. The bio father would have had to agree to it but I can't see him not doing so.

    No as to what you call your "God given right". You forget that the possible bio father also has rights and your rights end where his begins. Yes it's a shame that people don't take responsibility for their actions. But you can't force them to unless there are laws to do so. And the law favors him in this case.
  • Dec 20, 2010, 04:08 PM
    scpierce
    Comment on Synnen's post
    It was a question about my legal rights, if any. I understand this is a sore spot I only voiced my feelings. This is not a place for attacks on others... or is it.. so the law doesn't support adult children, fine,I don't agree with it but dang, chill
  • Dec 20, 2010, 04:17 PM
    scpierce
    Comment on ScottGem's post
    That is what I am asking and that is it... is there laws.. No, there is not, I got that... why is it that so many people are angered or put on the defense by this simple question?
  • Dec 20, 2010, 04:23 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Sorry, this is where legal advice, not moral support comes at,

    You will get a lot more "love" and feelings" in the family area, if you want to talk about how it feels, or why it is not fair.

    We can only speak from a legal side.

    Even if the step parent had not adopted, as soon as the child is a adult, he and the mother loses the right to take the bio father to court, in almost all cases.

    If there was an adoption, then the legal father is the adoptive father and all of the "rights" are his, under the law.
  • Dec 20, 2010, 04:45 PM
    scpierce
    I asked the question, do I have a legal right to find out if a certain man is my father? I was answered. no. I have no rights. Fine. Let me say, I have not lost any sleep nor am I crying over this. Yes, it was upsetting when they got my hopes up for the DNA test, and was let down. No big deal. I am 40 years old. I have wondered for years who he is. Some people say God doesn't give me the right to know this. Fine. I feel differently. God did give me the intellect to ask questions, to want and to pursue my desires in life. I am not forcing nor am I trying to force, nor aggravate a very sensitive situation. I asked a question. I gave the scenario. There was not DNA tests then for this situation. One person's word against another. There are test's today that do invade the "so-called" privacy of people who do not want to claim a child as their own. Now that there are such test's available, adult children from that time have no rights? Fine. This question was not about adoption. I am all for it and am blessed that the man I call dad did give me the moral and social values he did. We all have ideas and feelings to get upon our soap box and exclaim. Please, do not forget... we all have feelings, we all need something. We have only one life. There is no need to assume, point fingers, blame or ridicule anyone but ourself. After all, that is who we truly know. Thanks to everyone who answered my legal question. I know none of you to be assuming anything about you. I only had a question, no judgements. This is a sensitive topic for All who have ever been in it. Feel free to ask but not to assume.
  • Dec 20, 2010, 04:53 PM
    scpierce
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    I never asked for my feelings to be supported here. I never asked for opinions. Many opinions/feelings were posted in reply. I asked a legal question, and given much more than I asked for
  • Dec 20, 2010, 05:45 PM
    ScottGem

    First, please don't use the Comments feature for followups.

    Second, Yes you asked a legal question and you got that answer, but in addition you spoke about your "god given rights" and expected the law to support them. I think that is where you went off the track.

    The nature of this site is that we try to help people not just answer their questions. So sometimes, after answering the specific question we offer additional advice that we feel will help the OP deal with their situation.
  • Dec 20, 2010, 06:04 PM
    scpierce
    Comment on ScottGem's post
    So if not in comments where do I comment?
  • Dec 20, 2010, 06:25 PM
    ScottGem

    Use the Answer options for followups.
  • Dec 20, 2010, 07:14 PM
    scpierce
    How is this, many of the same ones are picking apart and getting stuck on certain terms and other's interpretations of the question and comments and using them to support how they feel personally about my question (and I am told this is not a place to look for support for my feelings?) but yet you can expect me to support and or not question yours? Again I said "i feel it is my God given right".. feel, I did not ask if you feel the same, I did not ask for empathy,I am not letting this man manipulate my feelings to where I need to go to counseling. I do not need a shoulder to cry on. This has gotten out of hand I am sick of you guys continually attacking a stinking question and a comment on what I believe God has given me... that has nothing to do with the legal question I asked, I was not politically incorrect and or stereotypical or attacking or demanding in any way... we know that we all have our own interpretations of the Bible and Life ( and we also know you don't persecute other's for their feelings or beliefs. Don't we?) some took a yes or no question and made it your place to vent and carry out your personal beliefs/agendas and expected no rebuttal.
    I am quiet aware of the purpose of this site, that is why I came here in the first place for legal advise. I don't mind constructive or instructive information given. But I got so many of you saying one thing then the other contradicting the one before, each of us have varying opinions on what is right. But don't attack me because I don't agree.. that I, as an adult child of an unknown party, should not have a right to know who he is. The law is the law and I am all right with that.
  • Dec 20, 2010, 07:30 PM
    ScottGem

    No one "attacked" you. But there appears to be nothing more that needs to be said.
  • Dec 20, 2010, 07:45 PM
    scpierce
    Comment on ScottGem's post
    See, again that is NOT what I said.. but u are right... the horse is dead
  • Dec 20, 2010, 07:46 PM
    cdad
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by scpierce View Post
    how is this, many of the same ones are picking apart and getting stuck on certain terms and other's interpretations of the question and comments and using them to support how they feel personally about my question (and i am told this is not a place to look for support for my feelings?) but yet you can expect me to support and or not question yours? again i said "i feel it is my God given right".. feel, i did not ask if you feel the same, i did not ask for empathy,i am not letting this man manipulate my feelings to where i need to go to counseling. i do not need a shoulder to cry on. this has gotten out of hand i am sick of you guys continually attacking a stinking question and a comment on what i believe God has given me ... that has nothing to do with the legal question i asked, i was not politically incorrect and or stereotypical or attacking or demanding in any way...we know that we all have our own interpretations of the Bible and Life ( and we also know you don't persecute other's for their feelings or beliefs. don't we?) some took a yes or no question and made it your place to vent and carry out your personal beliefs/agendas and expected no rebuttal.
    i am quiet aware of the purpose of this site, that is why i came here in the first place for legal advise. i don't mind constructive or instructive information given. but i got so many of you saying one thing then the other contradicting the one before, each of us have varying opinions on what is right. but don't attack me because i don't agree.. that i, as an adult child of an unknown party, should not have a right to know who he is. the law is the law and i am alright with that.

    I am going to say this. And I hope you understand it in context. Our constitution is based on "god given rights" and those have been passed into law. So even the "feeling" doesn't make it so. And on this section we adhere to the law to the best of our knowlage. We volunteer our time to answer the questions of others. So when you say its YOUR "god given right" and the law addresses it. Then there is no alternative. We have to tell you no it is not.

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