Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Reading & Writing (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=193)
-   -   Profreed this for me ? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=535890)

  • Dec 18, 2010, 02:55 PM
    superscullgirl
    Profreed this for me ?
    They say everything happens for a reason...
    Isabelle- still coping from the pain of her boyfriend’s death exactly one year ago
    Carlos- no connection to her whatsoever
    Met by fate, fell in love my choice.

    Vanessa- an interesting transfer student with a mysterious past... Isabelle’s new friend
    Snake- Carlos’ old friend
    Killed in a deadly car crash
    Lust and alcohol

    Tragedy, lies, and endless possibility
    Long Beach, California has never been so... Different
    Tension created by growing attraction
    Love like a fantasy...

    Balloon wishes made by Isabelle and Carlos promise never ending love
    Completely real and everlasting
    Carlos wishes that everything will work out with Isabelle...
    “For a life to come together, sometimes it first has to fall completely apart.”
  • Dec 18, 2010, 03:06 PM
    justcurious55

    Proofread it? What is it? I can't tell if it's supposed to be a sort of poem or story
  • Dec 18, 2010, 03:17 PM
    Wondergirl

    I can't make sense of it at all. What is it supposed to be? It sounds like an ad for a novel. It needs a lot of work yet.
  • Dec 18, 2010, 03:25 PM
    Wondergirl

    What about this --

    They say everything happens for a reason.
    There's Isabelle, still coping from the pain of her boyfriend's death exactly one year ago,
    And Carlos, who has no connection to her whatsoever.
    They met by fate, fell in love by choice.

    Then there's Vanessa, an interesting transfer student with a mysterious past, Isabelle's new friend,
    And Snake, Carlos's old friend, who were both
    Killed in a deadly car crash
    Caused by lust and alcohol.

    Tragedy, lies, and the end of possibilities!
    Long Beach, California, has never been so chaotic.
    Tension was created by a growing attraction
    Wherein love was a fantasy.

    Balloon wishes were made by Isabelle and Carlos and what they thought was never-ending love,
    Love that they believed was completely real and everlasting.
    Now Carlos wishes everything will work out with Isabelle --
    “For a life to come together, sometimes it first has to fall completely apart.”

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:46 PM.