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-   -   Did I go about it wrong? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=535721)

  • Dec 18, 2010, 12:14 AM
    Coke_addicted
    Did i go about it wrong?
    Ok so earlier this morning at about 5am I woke up to somebody coughing from my mums room but is didn't sound like her and my dad was on night shift for another hour. So I texted my dad to see if it was him in the house and he said "no why?" so I said I thought I heard somebody talking in her room which isn't normal seeing as she'd been out drinking and she should have been asleep. So my dad asks me to check up on her and see if there's anybody in there but no way was I going to go in and confront whoever it was just because if there was somebody I don't think I could bare to see them without doing something to him. So I got dressed and shouted to my mum and asked her what she was doing up so late and what the noise was and she came out of her room and blamed it on her trying to get the cat out of bed which I refused to believe. So I waited downstairs to make sure nobody left via the doors and waited for my dad to come back. About 15 minutes before my dad comes back the backdoor light comes on and there's a shadow really close to the house so I shouted to my mum "so who's that climbling out of the window?!" she denied anything and was shouting she didn't know what I was going on about several times. By now there was a lot of movement in her room and then she randomly asks me to let the cat in and was making a big fuss about it but I'd only just let him out so I refused and she went back to her room. Then it went quiet and my dad got in and I told him what had happened and then he goes upstaris with a torch and it was very cold so there was frost but there was a footprint but only 1. Then I look across the hallway and realise the spare room window was open and all the things from the window ledge has been moved so I told my dad and we were both asking her who was here but she still denied it. Did I do the right thing by telling my dad or should I have let my mum get away with it? I don't think I could have kept it a secret because I hate people lying and this was no exception. So can anybody tell me if they think that was the right way to go about it or not in their opinion.
  • Dec 18, 2010, 12:26 AM
    Alty

    I don't think you did anything wrong. The only person in the wrong here is your mom.

    I can't believe that she'd not only bring someone home with her while you were in the house, but that she'd try to hide it when she was so obviously busted.

    What does your dad think about all of this?
  • Dec 18, 2010, 12:31 AM
    Coke_addicted
    Comment on Altenweg's post
    Well he seemed pretty calm about it but I think he is just going to wait until she wakes up and is sober until he confronts her.
  • Dec 18, 2010, 12:36 AM
    Alty

    Well the ball is in his court now.

    Don't beat yourself up about this. She's the one that made this choice, you just reacted to it.

    I'm sure your father is glad that you told him. She won't be, but that's only because she got caught and busted.

    Stand strong and don't feel guilty about this. Okay?

    Try to get some sleep and don't think about it. What's done is done.
  • Dec 18, 2010, 12:44 AM
    Coke_addicted
    Comment on Altenweg's post
    Ok thanks for taking the time and giving me some helpful advice.
  • Dec 18, 2010, 12:53 AM
    Alty

    No problem. I hope it all works out.

    Keep us posted, and if you need any advice, or just need to talk about this, that's what we're all here for. :)
  • Dec 18, 2010, 04:07 AM
    joypulv
    There's no way you could be 'wrong' about any of this! It was smart to not bust into her room; you could have been hurt, never mind what you wanted to do to him.
    Keep in mind that you don't really know what is happening between your parents. It could range from your mother having a serious drinking and responsibility problem to getting revenge if your father had an affair first. It's best to stay out of all of that part. You can be sure, at least, that the man will never be back in the house, thanks to you.
  • Dec 18, 2010, 12:39 PM
    talaniman

    You had every right to defend your home, and make a stand against bad behavior. You have done your part, now back off, and let them do theirs.

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