Here's my heartbreaking story. I meet this wonderful guy in June 2004 we started talking and we became a couple soon after that he was so special to me and he was the best. I fell in love with him, he was my first everything after a year of dating I lost my virginity to him which was very special. Although we had a big age difference it really didn't matter much. (to be exact there is an 8 yr difference) We were in love that's for sure, He always pushed me to finish school and go to college I felt secure with him I was in love w him. There was a lot of things we did that can never be replaced by anyone. We lasted 2 years 6 months, rite after we had celebrated our 2 years and 6 months annv he passed away. I remember being with him that whole day Friday and speaking to him that night over the phone reassuering me that he will come see me after he was done having a few drinks w his friends. But he never showed up I woke up Saturday morning so upset but than I got a call from his brother telling to rush to the hospital that something bad happen so I did and there I saw my boyfriend laying dying before my eyes, I broke down crying begging him not to leave me pleading for him to stay strong, but he couldn't do it he died a few hours later all he said was I love you. I sat besies that bed crying for hours just couldn't believe it. He was gone he had left me, I held onto him till the doctors made me leave my eyes where sore, red, I looked like someone had just killed me. In some ways I blame myself for his death. His brother later told me that he was shoot, I couldn't believe it, Yes my ex boyfriend was in a gang but he was changing his way but I guess people didn't like that so they killed him, we still don't know who did it but I know deep in my heart it was some guys that didn't like his changing ways. I miss him all the time and although times has passed I still can't move on I want him back so bad I still can't believe he's gone everyday is hard for me everyday is a struggle for me and I haven't been able to date, I don't know what to do anymore. Help me please.

There are several different stages of grief. Unless you get through all of them either on your own or with professional help you will never be able to move on. Please get some professional help. Find a minister/pastor/Rabbi that has experience in this matter and get the help you need.

Hard to tell exactly when this happened. Meet in 2004 and together 2 and 1/2 years , means he died around Jan 2007?

So he has been passed away about 3 years ?

While you will never forget him, after 3 years you would not be bothered every day, but you can still remember him every day.

Have you finished college , something he would have wanted, What have you done with your life so far, in his memory ?

Next dating, so you don't date, do you need to??

But have you even been on a date, just to get out, or do you go out with friends to do things