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-   -   My boy friend is 3 years older then me! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=535092)

  • Dec 15, 2010, 07:13 PM
    chickychoo
    My boy friend is 3 years older then me!
    Heeey, I meant this guy a while ago we talked lots and became supper close. Not knowing eachothers ages he sugested one day we should go out. I ansewerd you we should. Then he said okaay :) . So we have been dating for almost 2 mounths now I have never felt this way for anyone before. Hes so sweet. And kind and he's not afaird to say that he loved me in frount of his friends! He backs me up on everything and well he's always there ffor me! The other day I was looking on his pics on Facebook when I then realized an almub said grade 8 grad I clicked on it thinking maybe he was in grade 8 last year then I realized the almub was from 3 years ago! HE IS NOW IN GRADE 11... I am in grade 8.. So I am 13 he is 16 I think. Is that bad? What should I do?
  • Dec 15, 2010, 09:27 PM
    ironhide262
    No, it's not bad but, I do find it a little surprising that you have known this person for over 2 months and it's seems like you had no idea how old he was. Do you not go to the same school? You need to ask a few more questions before considering dating someone. Just a thought.

    As great as this guy seems to be keep one thing in mind. In about a year and a half your boyfriend will probably be graduating and hopefully going to college or university. There are big changes coming sooner than you think and with that some big decisions.

  • Dec 16, 2010, 12:22 AM
    justcurious55

    Yes, I would say it is bad. And here's just a few reasons.

    If you don't have the sense to get to know someone, you're not old enough to be dating. Age is pretty basic. It shouldn't take 2+ months to get an idea of how old someone is.

    When you're say, 22 and 25, three years is not a big deal. But at 13 and 16, three years is huge. That's a lot of differences in life experiences and maturity levels. And don't start on how either one of you is so mature for your age. Most of us remember how mature we thought we were when we were 13 too, and are old enough and wiser enough to look back and laugh about how far from it we were.

    You're also both too young to really be in love. Sure, you like each other. There's probably some lust. But I highly doubt it's really love. Not the kind of love that keeps two people together through thick and thin.

    And, you're 13. What do you have that you need a boyfriend to be there for you so much for? Where are your parents? Why aren't they paying attention to this older boy you've been dating? I'm not saying that you don't have things you need support for at 13. But you should NOT need support from a boyfriend. You should be looking for support from your parents, teachers, other family members while you learn to depend on yourself and figure out who you are.
  • Dec 16, 2010, 06:19 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    I will agree if you don't know his age, and his grade in school, there is a problem here
  • Dec 16, 2010, 06:03 PM
    talaniman

    How do you date for two months without knowing someone's age? When in doubt of what you should do, ask mom, AND dad!
  • Dec 19, 2010, 05:58 PM
    chickychoo
    Comment on justcurious55's post
    Thx..
    And my mom knows I'm dateing him.
    And has met him.
    Hes really short and can pass for 13 so I never really asked.
  • Dec 19, 2010, 05:59 PM
    chickychoo
    Comment on talaniman's post
    I don't have a dad.. well I do but I never see him! Haven't seen him dor 8 yearss...
  • Dec 19, 2010, 06:01 PM
    chickychoo
    Comment on ironhide262's post
    No we aren't in the same school.. I met him when I was at my friends hockey game he was their watching him too so...
  • Dec 19, 2010, 06:14 PM
    ScottGem

    Does your mother know how old he is? Does she know you are "dating" him? You are on the young side to date.

    Does he know how old you are?

    And one more issue. In most areas it would be illegal for you to engage in any sexual activity.

    P.S. Please don't use the coments feature for follow-up, use the answer options instead.

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