Hey my guy dumped me about a two weeks ago, he said he really likes me still, bla bla bla. He brought up the **** friends thing, then right away said he didn't think it would work in our situation. Anyway so last Monday I called him over for a booty call, he ended up staying the night... we spent more time talking then having sex. So then he came over again on Saturday, he didn't feel well at all and still made the trip to my place, we cuddled and watched movies, we then holed ourselves up in my place all of Sunday and watched TV all day together, so now I'm really confused. He put his coat on and was about to go home, asked what I was doing that night, I said I'm just going to stay in and he says, well I don't want to go home, so I said stay. He stayed the night again. No sex, so I don't think us spending time together is motivated by sex, and it doesn't seem like a guy who just wants to be friends would do this. So boys, I need your prospecitive on this... what the hell could be going on in his head? Oh yeah, lol I also want to try and figure this out without actually talking to him... uhh insane? I know.

Ask him straight up what he's looking for.

If he can't give you a straight answer, then he's not very sure of himself and you don't need to play mind games.

I suggest you put your foot down and tell him to figure out what he wants before looking for you again.

Okay, so he dumped you and said he didn't want to be friends. Why in the world would you even want a "booty call" with him to start with?

It's hard to say what he's thinking. It's possible that he's having some second thoughts, but it's also possible that he just didn't have anything else to do.

You said you didn't want to talk to him about it, but that's going to be the only way that you truly find out what's on his mind. Just remember that open communication is vital to a good relationship.

Be honest with yourself. The 'booty call' wasn't just to get an itch scratched. It was an attempt to get him back with sex as the foot in the door.

You can't go back to the way things were before the break up. Don't try to pretend the break up didn't happen. It did and for a reason. If you don't know the reason, ask him. Be mature and discuss what is going on with him. Understand that you need to work through the issues and heal from the hurt that the break up caused before you try being together in any way whether it be friend, lover, or couple.

Not wanting to discuss it with him says that you are afraid of losing even this little bit and don't want to face reality because you want what you think he doesn't. However, you won't know what he wants if you don't ask him. You will continue to be confused and scared and then angry and hurt when he doesn't contact you or you hear he is out with another woman. Find out if there is something still there or if he is using you as a playmate until he finds another one or feels strong enough to move on.

IF the relationship is truly over, do not contact him again. Look into No Contact as a means to end the confusion and allow yourself the time and space to heal.

Your passive aggressive approach to keeping him around is an attempt to change his mind, and he has nothing better to do but go along with it. That's not so confusing, or even unusual since having a friend with benefits is great for most guys, and is a form of having the milk, without buying the cow.

Heck, if something better comes up, he is history. Even better, its not cheating to have someone else casually either.

You gave him the ball, and he is running with it. What more can a guy ask for?? He is in heaven, and you are... well you really don't know where you are. Confused is a good word, limbo is another.