Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year when we first met things were good. I work away from home a week at work then a week at home. He get really excited when Im coming home texts me every night saying he loves me ans misses me and can't wait to see me. But when Im home he never kisses me doesn't touch me I try to make the first move and he comes up with excuses not to have sex. We have split up twice over this and every time we do he tries so hard to get me back sex all the time always hugging me and saying he needs to try harder and he is sorry. We have both sat down and spoke about it and I've told him how it makes me feel I've even cryed for nights in bed cause I feel so ugly and insecure about it all. Everything else in our relationship is great I just need some attention.

So why do you take him back when nothing has changed?

I don't really know sometimes I think he is trying and it lasts for a while but then it goes back to the same. He usually blames me and says that I'm the one with the problem he thinks telling me he loves me is enough. He is so hot and cold with me.

He isn't hot and cold, he does enough to make you feel better, then he goes back to being who he is. You want more than he is giving, whether you need it, or not is another question.

Is it fair to say you want more attention than your getting? Is it fair to say you take him back because you want attention period?

Or is it fair to say you want a lot more sex than he gives you?

Think hard because recognizing the difference is what gives you the best chance of knowing what you really want. You have to know what you really want before you can express it to your partner.

Huihgi

Yeah some attention would be better than none. Sex once a month isn't enough. Ive asked him what he wants (the same) when we split up he's allover me to get me back but when I'm back it goes back to the same that's hot and cold to me.

I love him. That's why I stay but it gets me really down I've given him space to think about what he really wants and he always says he loves me so much and doesn't want to loose me ever again talking about getting married and moving in together.

Ive asked him why he is like that with me and he says he doesn't know. Sometimes he avoids having sex with me making up excuses and saying he's tired and worried about things. But he still had they worries when we weren't together and he managed to be affectionate then

For whatever reason he doesn't appear to into much physical display! If he hasn't changed in over a year, he never is.

Time for you to move on and find the man who isn't against physical love!! Good luck