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-   -   Should I go on a date even if I'm not interested? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=534104)

  • Dec 12, 2010, 02:29 PM
    Spontaneouslemon
    Should I go on a date even if I'm not interested?
    A guy asked me out this week to go to dinner. We got a long well at a party, he's a really funny guy but I'm not attracted to him. He just texted me about my schedule, should I still go on a date with him? Or should I not? Or would it be rude if I told him I'd love to go to dinner with him as a friend but I'm not ready for dating yet? I feel it would be rude to not respond but is that the way to do it?
    I never know how to turn down a date proposal properly, I'm usually good at dodging a guy trying to ask me out before he does it in the first place. But maybe I should be more open to dating? I've only been on one date other than my three and a half year relationship with my boyfriend in high school, because that was the only guy who I found to be interesting. Otherwise, I've become a pro at running away from them. Should I just bite the bullet and go and have a good time even though I know nothing would come out of it? If not, how do I say no?

  • Dec 12, 2010, 02:46 PM
    ITstudent2006

    Do you want to go as just friends? F you don't mind going as friends then by all means GO but make it apparent that you'se are just friends and nothing more. If you don't want anything to do with this guy then simply tell him you're not interested in dinner as a date or as friends.

    You need to ask yourself what you want from this. Friendship, dating, serious relationship... etc. You said it yourself you get along well with him and that he is a fun guy, but there's no attraction. If you enjoy hanging out with him but want nothing more then express your feelings to him and if he wants to still go on this date then he knows it will be as just friends!
  • Dec 12, 2010, 02:50 PM
    Wondergirl

    Date him "even though I know nothing would come out of it"??

    Isn't that why one dates? Of course, 99 out of 100 of your dates will come to nothing. Dating is all about finding out how the opposite sex thinks and behaves and reacts. It's a learning thing.

    Yes, go out with him and have a good time. You might find out you have more in common with him than you can imagine -- or you might end up hating each other by the end of the evening. Maybe he's "worth" a second date, or maybe you two hope you will never see each other again. Realize that he has you "on trial" just as much as you have him "on trial."
  • Dec 12, 2010, 02:54 PM
    ITstudent2006

    "Date him "even though I know nothing would come out of it"???

    Isn't that why one dates?"

    WG- We don't date because we know nothing will come of it. We date because we're unsure of what will become of it!
    If we knew nothing would come of it then why waste our time, the uncertainty is what drives us to test the waters!
  • Dec 12, 2010, 03:06 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ITstudent2006 View Post
    [I]"Date him "even though I know nothing would come out of it"???

    Isn't that why one dates?"

    As I tried to indicate in my post, what may seem to be a lost cause may turn out to be a great possibility. You may think you know "nothing will come out of it," but once you have been on the first date, a second date doesn't sound so bad. Someone I went out with for no good reason turned into a six-year relationship.

    Haven't you ever changed your mind about a person after getting to know him/her a bit better?
  • Dec 20, 2010, 10:03 AM
    Spontaneouslemon
    Thanks for the responses!
    I ended up having to cancel cause I had an important event I had to attend last minute. When he asked to reschedule I told him I'd update him about my schedule after the holidays as I'll be out of town. So we'll see...
    I completely see what you guys mean about the testing the waters, and seeing if anything could be with this guy, but I guarantee nothing would happen. I don't mean to sound superficial, but the way he tried to win my attention was through magic tricks (he turned a balloon into a "phone condom" by magically wrapping it around my phone.. ) which was funny to watch from some guy I met at a party, but not as some guy I should be going on a date with, know what I mean? He's a huge goof ball which is great, but that I could never be in a relationship with. Think Jack Black, but nerdier.

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