Very unhappy in marriage even thoughts of suicide so tired, married to verbally drugged addict mama's boy for 7 years. I have my own apartment 38 year old husband prefers to stay living in his parents basement he also has two other twin brothers 27 years old who also still lives at home,and a 40 year old daughter who lives up stairs in the two family house.Mother does all the cooking and cleaning and washing all her grown children's clothes. I spend most of my time at mother- in-laws house I'm expected to clean behind husband and his 2 brothers in the basement I'm also expected to clean up stairs after mother in law cooks it has gotten so bad I don't eat at her house I lost 60lbs which was a good thing because I used to weigh 195lbs at 5'5 inches tall. I don't think it is fair my husband expects me to clean behind every on in the house fold all the clothes 8 people all grown except one who is 16 years old (my step son) I have to check make sure bathrooms are clean to make it worst I have a neck injury but he doesn't care he just want to make sure his mother doesn't have to do every thing by herself I don't even live in her home I feel like the maid I don't even want sex from husband any more I get sick just thinking about being with him sexually I wish I never married a mama's boy should I just go home or what? I'm so unhappy!!

Why haven't you gotten a divorce?

Divorce him and get a better life and lose even more weight... HIS!!

No one is forcing you to clean up another persons home. Stop cleaning up after your childish husband. Maybe his mom will finally have enough and kick his arse out.

This makes no sense. Why are you two even married? Why are you doing all of this for the lazy bugger?

If he doesn't want mommy to do too much work, than he can grow up and clean up after himself. Take care of your home, your kids, and yourself. He's a grown man, he can tidy up after his own mess.

Personally I'd leave him. You may as well already be divorced. You don't have a marriage. You don't even have a relationship. Cut him loose, he's dead weight.

If you have your own place, just stay there, explain to husband, that is where you are at, and he can either live there or just not see you again.

I would not go back to his mothers place and would never clean up behind everyone, they are grown and can clean up theirself

Nobody is forcing you to comply with the lifestyle of your husband, his siblings, and his mother. Nobody has glued a mop to your hand, or chained you to the washing machine. You are not dragged to her house under armed guard, nor are you legally obligated to choose to do anything they say. That you choose to do what you have done for the past 7 years of your marriage means the problem here is not with them, it is with you.

There has to be more to this story than what is immediately obvious. When you married him, did you expect him to change? What was it about him, that gave you the impression that he was going to break the family mould, and be his own man, under his own steam, with his wife and son. Independent of his mother. If you walked into this with your eyes wide open, what is different now, today, than last week, or last year. What are you talking about here- leaving, divorcing him, walking out of his mother's house and never looking back? Or are you looking for a reason to stay, suggestions on how to cope, or ways to get them to change?

There are really only two choices for the extremely unusual and unhealthy place you are in right now. One is to secure a plan, and execute it. Get yourself into counselling and learn to re-establish your confidence and self esteem enough to see through the murky waters of this horrible situation you are in. Then, get out. The flip side of this coin is, stay where you are, and realize that nothing will change all of these adults to accommodate YOU. It is the other way around, and they expect it to stay that way, otherwise changes would have been made a long time ago.

Decide who's needs are being met here. Yours, or theirs. Clearly yours are not. Even if you cannot yet understand that, realize that there is help and you should go out and get it. Start with your family Doctor, explain the situation, and ask for assistace in securing counselling. That is a must. You need to learn to allow yourself the freedom to make choices, and until you do, even if you leave tomorrow, until you understand why this needs to all come to an end, you will keep going back, and staying under their control. As has been the pattern for 7 years.

So, stay or go. What are your thoughts on each option.