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-   -   Should I let Him Go and Move On? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=533766)

  • Dec 11, 2010, 12:46 PM
    lcbdecember
    Should I let Him Go and Move On?
    I have been dating this guy for... well, not long. About 2 months. Recently he expressed concern and worry over the fact that he doesn't really feel attached to his feelings. He feels very detached about everything, and is worried that he is manipulating me. I knew he was a commitment-phobe when we started dating. I don't want a SERIOUS relationship, I just want to have some fun with him. It's not turning out to be fun all the time, because we are always talking about how he doesn't know what he wants. I feel like, if I leave, I won't ever know how good this could have been. I also feel like he's not giving himself a chance to be what he could be...
    Should I continue to try and make it work... or just leave him to deal with stuff on his own and try and move on?
    Please help!
  • Dec 11, 2010, 12:49 PM
    Wondergirl

    Stop asking him what he wants. Stop talking to him about the "quality" of the relationship. You're friends. Have fun. Date others.

    What do you mean, "if I leave"? You aren't even "there" yet.
  • Dec 11, 2010, 01:30 PM
    lcbdecember
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    I'm not the one asking him about what he wants. He keeps bringing it up. We'll have a fun, nice, great night together, and then 2 days later he'll start talking about how he doesn't know what he wants.
  • Dec 11, 2010, 02:08 PM
    Wondergirl

    Tell him he doesn't have to decide. There's no pressure. "Let's just have fun together."
  • Dec 11, 2010, 04:42 PM
    lcbdecember
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    I have... he keeps bringing this issue back up. I have no reason to pressure him into anything, and I've told him that many times. And yet he STILL brings it up!
  • Dec 11, 2010, 05:03 PM
    Wondergirl

    Ignore it and change the subject.
  • Dec 12, 2010, 09:53 AM
    Jessicacn
    Actually, I guess you gave him pressure that you wanted to settle down. You mentioned that you did not want serious relationship in your question, but, I want to ask you why you so care if he stay or leave if you do not want serious relationship? Casual relationship means he can find others and you can not say he cheats on you. So, Maybe you did not say it, but he can feel it you want serious relationship. That is not bad thing. But you need to do it in right way and take a risk of you may fail... But, who knows what will happen.Nothing for sure in life.

    If you want to keep him.1: do not ask for anything, spend HAPPY time with him.Let him relax when he is with you. Lower you expectation. 2: Spend more time with your friends, refuse to meet him sometimes because you want to spend time with your friends and other things more meaningful. 3: Make you life better by studying, traveling...
    DO NOT ASK WHAT HE CAN GIVE YOU AND WHAT RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE, THAT WILL SCARE HIM AWAY.

    Just enjoy ever munites you have, life is short. You should appreciate that he still want to see you sometimes. He is there, and he is happy.

    Goog luck..

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