Hello,

Can I get some suggestion on how to improve the below paragraph.

Thanks,

DAC

We recommend creation of a spreadsheet of problems with their
Resolutions to help communicate the history of problems that the
Help Desk personnel have resolved. This will also assist other
Personnel working on the Help Desk to resolve like problems.

Is this for employees? If so,
1. Wouldn't you rather this documentation be a requirement rather than a suggestion?
2. What specific software will the employees have access to?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dcutaia

Hello,

Can I get some suggestion on how to improve the below paragraph.

Thanks,

DAC

We recommend creation of a spreadsheet of problems with their
resolutions to help communicate the history of problems that the
Help Desk personnel have resolved. This will also assist other
personnel working on the Help Desk to resolve like problems.

---

dcutaia,
Here is my take,
Creation of a spreadsheet pinpointing problems with related resolutions is recommended in order to communicate the history of past solutions from the Help Desk personnel. This assists others, also working on the Help desk, to resolve similar problems. nmwirez

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dcutaia

Hello,

Can I get some suggestion on how to improve the below paragraph.

Thanks,

DAC

We recommend creation of a spreadsheet of problems with their
resolutions to help communicate the history of problems that the
Help Desk personnel have resolved. This will also assist other
personnel working on the Help Desk to resolve like problems.

---

Never underestimate the power of the simple declarative sentence. Ok, so the second sentence below is actually a compound sentence, but since both simple sentences would have shared the same subject, "this spreadsheet," I decided to combine them.

Record problems and their resolutions in a spreadsheet. This spreadsheet provides a history of problems that the help desk has resolved, and assists help desk personnel to resolve similar problems.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dflak

Never underestimate the power of the simple declarative sentence. Ok, so the second sentence below is actually a compound sentence...

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Hi dflak, I hope you do not mind some plagiaristic refinement. I think your compound sentence structure is nice. Here is what I did with it.

File problem resolutions in a spreadsheet to provide a history that the help desk has resolved and assists other personnel with similar problems.

Whaddya think?

Nm

The shorter, the better. :-)