I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years a couple months ago because we just weren't getting along anymore. We are both engineering students and are very stressed over work. I thought that by taking a break we would have some time to destress and realize what we loved about each other. During that time I became good friends with an older guy who gave me advice about my relationship, family life, and school. We spent a lot of time together and my now ex boyfriend thought we were dating. At one point I got mad at him and told him we were. He use to beg for me back but a month after we broke up he gave up. It's been almost three months now and I really want him back. I have grown up a lot in the time we were apart and feel like I have had time to think about why we fought so much. I have learned to respect him and I have been trying to show him that. At first he was really bitter towards me and didn't want to talk or anything. When I tried to tell him that I wasn't in another relationship he didn't believe me. He didn't want to spend anytime with me and told me he wanted to see other people and we wouldn't get back together. I love him so much. For about the last three weeks, I have been trying to show him I love him in everyway possible. I have taken him to dinner, bought him cards and flowers, gave him masssages, cooked him dinner, supported him through his final exams, wrote him poems, and gave him gifts. We haven't fought at all during this time and when he gets upset I remain calm and try to talk things through with him. I have convinced him that I wasn't in another relationship and have stopped talking and hanging out with my friend as much because I realize that it made him uncomfortable and it wasn't fair. He has started to warm up to me he talks to me now, hasn't complained that I'm rude to him, he seems happy to see me around, we watch movies together, sleep in the same bed, and have even slept together a couple of times. He told me he misses me and wants to try and work things out but when I ask him to be my boyfriend again he says he doesn't want a girlfriend now that he still needs his space. I tell him I love him often but he only sometimes reciprocates and tells me he loves me back. While we were apart he had a crush on another girl for about two weeks but I was told by lots of his friends and her friends that she only likes him as a friend and he has told me he doesn't have a crush on her anymore but he still texts her every couple of days. She never responds to him. I know she doesn't like him but I think he may still like her. Is this why he wants his time before we get back together? Does he think there may be hope of dating her? They were only friends for two weeks. Why does he say he wants to try and get back with me? We have been getting along really well and he seems really happy so why does he say he still needs time? Does anyone have any ideas?

YOU made the first break. Apparently he liked that idea. You even said, "he says he doesn't want a girlfriend now that he still needs his space."

He still needs time because he's not ready to settle down again. He's happy being single and having you around as a booty call.

I know that's what people typically say but I was his first and last so I don't think it's just a booty call. We have done lots of other things together too. My birthday was Monday and he says that he's going to do something special for me. He is also coming to visit my parents for a few days and says I can come visit his. Things are slowly becoming back to the way they were when we were together minus the fighting and not getting along. He just says he doesn't want to call me his girlfriend which I think means he may change his mind about me or may be waiting for someone else to come along.

He is basically calling the shots right now, isn't he? But, you were the one to call it off and now you want him back so, I guess you are trying everything you can.
Interesting , finally an example of a dumper realizing she made a mistake and wants their ex back!
You certainly have your work cut out for you. In a way your are right back to square one and if you really love this guy you will try everything to show him that. The question is, does he want to try? How much are you willing to give before he hopefully turns around?
Even when both partners are eager and willing to try the relationship again the odds are against them. It's always harder trying again.

I think all you can do is give it time. It will be up to him if he wants to risk his emotions again.

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Originally Posted by LilShotOfVodka

I know that's what people typically say but I was his first and last so I don't think it's just a booty call.

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Then forget the booty call stuff and just be his good friend.

I hope everything works out for you, but don't get to blinded by your hope! Him texting another woman every other day is NOT a good sign. Even if this girl doesn't respond to his emails, HE IS still attempting to hook up with HER. This is probably one reason why he Won't allow you to become boyfriend/girlfriend again. He doesn't want it getting around that he is in a serious relationship, he can still claim that he is SINGLE!

I know you say that he is going to meet your parent, and is warming up to you, just be careful. I guess what I am trying to say is just don't lay down and let him walk all over you to get him back as a boyfriend. Yes you screwed up and broke up with him, and yes I will even give it to him that its only fair to make you kiss up now to get him back, but don't let it go to FAR. When you let it go to far, it may become were he has lost all respect for you as a potential girlfriend and only see's you as a someone to use. Good luck

Wow, I would love a female doing all the work in the relationship, and I wasn't responsible for anything but enjoying the power, and the ego boost (and the sex!! ). That's all you are right now, and what you have become.

Worse, you better pay attention to what he has become because he isn't the same guy you dumped, or maybe he is and you have never paid attention. You say you have learned much while you were broken up (and still are), well you better use that knowledge and wake up to what has happened to you since you got back "together"!!