What they are and what's their intentions. This things bothering me a lot because I love my husband more then any thing but his attitude towards me is disappointing we are married from last 11years we have lovely kids but his habit of bothering for his affairs more then his family is really irritating tell me what should I do? Should have affairs too? "

Don't have affairs! You don't want to stoop down to his level. You might love him a lot, and I understand you have children, but why stay with someone who makes you feel that way who would do that to do! I would either sit down with him and have a talk and tell him how you feel. Tell him its them or me, and if you won't choose I'll leave. He could be having affairs because he doesn't feel the same about you anymore, mixed feelings, confused.. Did anything in the relationship change recently that would push him away? These are things you would need to talk about!

How do you know for a fact that he is having affairs?

How would having an affair of your own solve the problem? Don’t lower yourself to his standards.

I think a fellow can make a mistake and have one affair (one-night stand), but if your husband is having several, then I'd consider him to be a serial cheater who won't change.

What else is there to do other than to divorce and leave this rat? He’s making you miserable, which will in turn affects your children as well. He’s more than likely running around having unprotected sex. Accept your fate and the fact that this marriage is over and move along before you get infected with something that will make the children lose BOTH parents.

Just get rid of his cheating a$$!! You can do better than letting him make you as cheap, and worthless as he is.

I hear people quick to tell a woman having marital problem to "Leave his a$$".. Anybody has parents or grandparent who have been together for a long time? Go sit down with them and ask them if all those years have been spend faithfully? You'll be surprised how the long lasting relationships have been cultivated by constantly working on alleviating the reasons for infidelity rather than running away and raising children in one parent homes.

The whole independent woman pseud and mentality has left a lot of broken homes and emotionally unstable woman who spent their life trying to find Mr. Right. Advise to woman. If you love your man and his infidelity is something you can work around for the sake of your children and emotional stability.. work on it. Lets be honest... its hard out hear for the average 40 year woman with 3 kids to find the good man. Definitely not the type your girlfriends think you deserve...

This is my opinion and I am entitled to it...

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Originally Posted by zeeee

I hear people quick to tell a woman having marital problem to "Leave his a$$"..Anybody has parents or grandparent who have been together for a long time? Go sit down with them and ask them if all those years have been spend faithfully? You'll be surprised how the long lasting relationships have been cultivated by constantly working on alleviating the reasons for infidelity rather than running away and raising children in one parent homes.

The whole independent woman pseud and mentality has left a lot of broken homes and emotionally unstable woman who spent their life trying to find Mr. Right. Advise to woman. If you love your man and his infidelity is something you can work around for the sake of your children and emotional stability..work on it. Lets be honest...its hard out hear for the average 40 year woman with 3 kids to find the good man. Definitely not the type your girlfriends think you deserve...

This is my opinion and I am entitled to it...

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As I said before, I can see staying with a guy who made ONE mistake and was remorseful, but I can’t in good faith agree with anyone, (including zeeee) who suggests staying with a serial cheater. There is never a reason to stay in a negative destructive relationship.

Serial cheaters are definitely deficient in a main ingredient needed in a relationship ---- values. In my book, lying, cheating, manipulation and deception are not qualities you want to see in your spouse.

In my opinion, serial cheaters will never change. It is life as they know it. Life is all about choices, so why would anyone choose to get dragged into a life of insecurity, distrust and hurt?

I still suggest that you kick him to the curb!

The way I see it is not only was he with another woman, which in itself is disgusting. He also LIED to you, he also was doing something and HIDING it from you. That means, it was that easy. Why wouldn't he do it again? I believe ONCE a cheater, its always possible for them to do it again. If he cheated, something made him cheat. He either isn't satisfied with you, and isn't happy, which means, kick him to the curb. OR he lacks the feelings of hurting you, which means, kick him to the curb. OR there is something wrong with him, which means he WILL do it again, KICK HIM TO THE CURB!!