My ex left me two days before I had our son and then left the state a week later. He moved from here in Texas to Kansas, then on to Indiana. He has only had contact with my son twice in his life, when he was born, and when I packed up and went to Indiana for them to be together. Stupid mistake. I came home. In almost 5 years he's never come to visit our son, he's never sent me a dime in support, he won't hold a job, and has never so much as sent my son a blank card much less anything else. My fiancée, who my son calls Daddy, wants to adopt him, but we need to have his father's rights revoked first. My son wants to be adopted by him as well, so we are not pushing anything on him. How can I go about having his rights revoked based on abandonment?

People need to learn how to use the search function. Seriously. This has been asked and answered hunreds if not thousands of times here already.

You can't take his rights away... he can't take yours... and neither or you can simply sign them away either.

It takes a court to do it... and they very rarely ever do.

I happen to know that to be untrue as my mother had my biological father's right revoked, and I was adopted when I was a child. Also, I know that if he agrees to it, I can go to the county clerks office, pick up the paperwork, fill it out, and have it sent by them to him for him to fill out and send back and its done. However, I can no longer do that as he had agreed to two years ago because I can no longer find him.

I am mainly trying to find out if I need an attorney in order to have this done, or if it can be handled by me going to the court and just filing for it since 5 years of searching for him for child support has done nothing but turn up dead ends.

I am looking for answers from people who actually know what they are talking about, thanks.

Where do you live now? It matters, because different states have different laws on adoption.

MOST states require that you be married, and for at least a year, before adoption proceedings can begin.

So... if your HUSBAND wants to adopt, you see a lawyer, and find out how to conduct a good faith search to get the father to relinquish his rights.

You can't take away his rights any more than he can take yours away. If people could just run around and take away parental rights, someone could take YOUR rights away just because they didn't like the way you were parenting, or because they didn't feel you gave enough money, attention, whatever to your child.

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Originally Posted by Synnen

Where do you live now? It matters, because different states have different laws on adoption.

MOST states require that you be married, and for at least a year, before adoption proceedings can begin.

So...if your HUSBAND wants to adopt, you see a lawyer, and find out how to conduct a good faith search to get the father to relinquish his rights.

You can't take away his rights any more than he can take yours away. If people could just run around and take away parental rights, someone could take YOUR rights away just because they didn't like the way you were parenting, or because they didn't feel you gave enough money, attention, whatever to your child.

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And even with adoption the courts are still involved contrary to her claims... we aren't talking pets or livestock. We are talking Human Children. They can't simply be given away (or taken) or sold like an old car or couch without direct action of the legal system.

I live in Texas. Last I heard, he was in Indiana, but there is no telling with him.

And the grounds for revoking his rights are just because I feel like it. Adoption wouldn't happen right away by any means. I want things to settle down after having his rights revoked first, before I start anything on the adoption. I just need to find out exactly what I can do now that he's no longer going to be signing them away like we had planned before. I also no longer have the attorney I had at that point in time, so I'm having to look up advice other ways to figure this out. I know it can be done, as I said, it was done on my father who took off when I was a year old.

That SHOULD say are "not" just because I feel like it! Sorry!

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Originally Posted by smoothy

And even with adoption the courts are still involved contrary to her claims....we aren't talking pets or livestock. We are talking Human Children. They can't simply be given away (or taken) or sold like an old car or couch without direct action of the legal system.

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Right--but if a good faith effort is made to locate the parent, and comes up empty, then a court will terminate parental rights to ease the way for an adoption.

Laws may have changed--but I'm betting that the search for your father was a part of the adoption process.

NO COURT is going to terminate rights just because you want them to. Termination of parental rights nearly ALWAYS coincides with the adoption process. The exception to that is proving the other parent to be a danger to the child--and if he hasn't been around for years, he's not a danger.

YOU cannot do this. Parental rights can only be granted (through adoption) or terminated through a COURT. YOU cannot do this. No piece of paper anywhere is going to stand up as a termination UNLESS it is through the courts.

I really think you should consult with a lawyer to find out how to start the adoption process and what kind of good faith effort needs to take place (as part of that process) to find the biological father to either have him sign away his rights or prove him to be unfindable.

If you read the post after, it told you that was a type-o. It wasn't supposed to say that its just because. There are reasons, I'm not airing them all out on here because they are his legal issues and abuse issues and I didn't feel I needed to tell everyone in the world about those reasons. He hasn't been around my child in years, however he does have other children he's been a danger to. He drinks too much and is violent, he has kicked one of his other children shortly after the child got out of the hospital for a hole in his heart, he is in and out of jail all the time, normally for being drunk or fighting. Hes assaulted a cop and been put in jail for that, should I continue?

I have my reasons. I'm not saying a piece of paper will do everything, I know it has to be done through the court. Once again, I'm trying to find out if I need an attorney to go to court with me on this, or if it's a matter I can file with the court myself. Calling an attorney and asking them, they are only going to say yes because its money for them. I'm currently in school to be a paralegal, I know how that part works. I have not started my family law class yet, so I don't know everything about what I need to do at the moment with this.

With my father, my mother had to post an ad in the legal section of OUR local news paper telling him he was giving up his rights if he didn't answer. She knew, and so did the attorneys she had for the adoption, as well as the court that it wouldn't be answered as he was in another state. After 30 days of no answer, his rights were revoked, and mom was granted permission to move on with my step-dad adopting me. I'm not doing all of this to just throw my son on another man. He can adopt him, he can not adopt him, either way, I want my ex's right revoked so that my child can have my last name, makes things much easier when it comes to insurance and school. On top of that, I don't want my ex in the picture anymore. When he's drunk enough and has a new girl friend I hear from him because he wants to look like father of the year to her. Once she's pregnant, he takes off, and I don't hear from him again. I hear from him once, maybe twice a year, either drunk and wanting to look good, or drunk and wanting me to take him back after 5 years of not being together.

If anyone in Texas is looking at this wanting an answer to this question as well, I found it. Well, it was given to me by my friends mother who is a family law attorney.

1. Draft a "Petition for Termination of Parental Rights." Texas courts may provide you with a form called a "Petition in Suit Affecting the Parent-Child Relationship." The petition must include your name and address, the father's name and address, children names and addresses and it must state the grounds for termination. For a list of grounds, review the Texas Family Code, Section 161.001.

2. File the complete petition in the Texas family law court where the father resides. Deliver a copy of the petition to the father.

3. Attend the hearing scheduled by the court to discuss terminating the father's parental rights. Texas, like other states, requires "clear and convincing evidence" to terminate the rights of the father. You, or your lawyer, may need to call witnesses to testify, for example, that the father endangered the child, or provide proof that the father failed to pay child support within the last six months.

You are not required to have an attorney present, which was the main of the two things I was trying to find out on here, but she said it is helpful to have one either there, or one that will advise you on what to do while in there, and what to present to the court.

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Originally Posted by HeatherCarol

With my father, my mother had to post an ad in the legal section of OUR local news paper telling him he was giving up his rights if he didn't answer. She knew, and so did the attorneys she had for the adoption, as well as the court that it wouldn't be answered as he was in another state. After 30 days of no answer, his rights were revoked, and mom was granted permission to move on with my step-dad adopting me. I'm not doing all of this to just throw my son on another man. He can adopt him, he can not adopt him, either way, I want my ex's right revoked so that my child can have my last name, makes things much easier when it comes to insurance and school. On top of that, I don't want my ex in the picture anymore. When hes drunk enough and has a new girl friend I hear from him because he wants to look like father of the year to her. Once shes pregnant, he takes off, and I don't hear from him again. I hear from him once, maybe twice a year, either drunk and wanting to look good, or drunk and wanting me to take him back after 5 years of not being together.

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Since you know this information and supposedly the lawyer knew it also. Then Im sure you "know" that the adoption was illegal and can be overturned at any time should your father wish to fight it. And the lawyer who performed this should be disbarred for participating knowingly in illegal activity.

Also you are receiving bad advice from your friends mother the "lawyer". She is making incorrect assumptions. Also it seems you haven't reached the timelines as perscribed by law.

Have you taken him to court for child support and what was the outcome of it?

There was nothing illegal about the adoption thank you. There were two attorney involved as well as a court.

I've been going to court about the child support for almost 5 years. Every time it catches up with him, he bolts. He quits the job and either moves to someone else's place, another city, or my favorite, another state.

You still have no proof that he is a danger to YOUR child, based on what you've posted. He's not exactly a poster child for fatherhood, but since he hasnt' even SEEN your child in years, he's not exactly a danger.

And your answer showed that I DID know what I was talking about--you need to go to COURT to get this done.

Do you NEED a lawyer? Nope. You don't NEED a doctor to set a bone, either. For anything involving adoption or parental rights, I HIGHLY recommend retaining a lawyer.

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Originally Posted by HeatherCarol

There was nothing illegal about the adoption thank you. There were two attorney involved as well as a court.

I've been going to court about the child support for almost 5 years. Every time it catches up with him, he bolts. He quits the job and either moves to someone else's place, another city, or my favorite, another state.

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If the adoption went down as you had quoted then yes it was illegal. And yes it can be overturned on the grounds stated. To knowingly decieve the courts and pursue an action is illegal.

I wish people would learn how to READ. "To knowingly decieve the courts and persue an action is illegal." DID NOT HAPPEN. I said the attorneys and courts were involved. THEY WERE THE ONES THAT TOLD HER TO POST THE AD IN THE LEGAL SECTION OF THE NEWS PAPER. For real, I already have my answer from someone I know to be a good attorney, and I don't need to hear from anyone else anymore. Esp people that can't seem to read what is being said, twist things, and claim there is something there that wasn't. There is NOTHING illegal about what was done. Not to mention in the years since my son was born, two other attorneys told me that is perfectly legal and I can do the same thing. For the final time, I was trying to find out the process to have things done, and if I needed an attorney when I go do it. I have my answers from more than one source, I'm good. Bye.

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Originally Posted by HeatherCarol

With my father, my mother had to post an ad in the legal section of OUR local news paper telling him he was giving up his rights if he didn't answer. She knew, and so did the attorneys she had for the adoption, as well as the court that it wouldn't be answered as he was in another state.

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Im sorry you feel that this is a legal way to do things as it is against the law to decieve the courts in this manner. Your mother and her attorney knowingly did not make a good faith effort in finding your father. Ask your bounty of lawyers if that is actually legal. Its not even constitutional. It violates the right to representation.

Texas may be a big state but Ive not heard that it has seceded from the United States and it follows that it not only must follow the laws within its own boarders but also the laws of the United States.

Heather, I'm sorry to say this but you have been wrong all down the line. I'm going to tell you the facts of the matter. Despite what the law you cited says, NO court is going to terminate the father's rights in the circumstances you asked about. If you file a petition for adoption AND as part of that process you file for a TPR and make a good faith effort to locate the father THEN you stand a good chance of getting the TPR. But if you file for the TPR without the process of adoption it will be denied. As you pointed out the TPR your mother got was part of an adoption process.

You have gotten accurate advice here yet you refuse to accept that advice. You have been wrong in your insistence on facts that are, in fact, misinterpretations of actual law.

Family Code §§ 161.001; 161.003(a)

Circumstances That Are Grounds for Termination

Abandonment or Extreme Parental Disinterest
Abuse/Neglect
Mental Illness or Deficiency
Alcohol or Drug Induced Incapacity
Felony Conviction/Incarceration
Failure of Reasonable Efforts
Abuse/Neglect or Loss of Rights of Another Child
Sexual Abuse
Failure to Maintain Contact
Failure to Provide Support
Child's Best Interest
Felony assault of child or sibling
Murder/Manslaughter of sibling child


Circumstances That Are Not Grounds for Termination

Failure to Establish Paternity
Child Judged in Need of Services/Dependent
Child in care 15 of 22 months (or less)

Tex. Fam. Code Ann. § 161.003(a)
The court may order termination of the parent-child relationship in a suit filed by the Department of Protective and Regulatory Services if the court finds that:

The parent has a mental or emotional illness or a mental deficiency that renders the parent unable to provide for the physical, emotional, and mental needs of the child;

The illness or deficiency, in all reasonable
probability, proved by clear and convincing
evidence, will continue to render the parent
unable to provide for the child's needs until the
18th birthday of the child;

The Department has been the temporary or sole
managing conservator of the child of the parent
for the 6 months preceding the filing of the
petition;

The Department has made reasonable efforts to
return the child to the parent; and

The termination is in the best interest of the
child.