Ask Me Help Desk - My boyfriends baby's mom is breaking us apart!

So Ive been dating this boy for a almost two years we he is in the process of a divorce , he has a two years old an he gets his son every other weeked an at least three days a week. Today just I lost it he can never stick up for himself. He just had his son for the weekend an Monday is her day. Well she called an asked if he could watch his son cause she has to go to the bar(an she's pregnant with her new boyfriends kid) to play pool. My boyfriend says how long . She says ill pick him up at twelve. My boyfriend says "no thats to late" an she starts yelling an then says "thanks anyway" sarcasticly. An hangs up. Then ten minutes later she calls back an puts the baby on the phone an the baby's saying" why can't you watch me daddy please" then she says" why can't you watch him" he says "its to late" then she yells some more. Anyway then me an my boyfriend get in a fight cause this happens all the you tell her no sorry we can't an she will call an harass him till she gets her way. Even if we had said no she would come over he says an she would. So she calls again an she says I'm dropping him off an ill pick him up at ten.(yeah right) this happens all the time it will be twelve that kid should be asleep an I just loose it I hate that my boyfriend just lets her walk all over him he needs to stick up for himself. Its like our world revolves around her. An she tought the baby to say I hate you to me an once she dropped the kids off an didn't even knock barged right into his bedroom an the baby goes to me "Mommy said to beat Ashleys(me) The A word . Mommy said punch her in the face" an then he raised his fist to me. An I didn't yell at him cause I know its not his fault its hers. He says F U you all the time an she says oh he only sayd that when he's at your house. I don't know she's driving me crazy there so much more to this drama but for now this is all I will right. ADVISE PLEASE. I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND TO DEATH but I can't deal with this crap:eek: :(

She's using the child to manipulate the two of you. Furthermore she's verbally and emotionally abusing the child and the two of you. Your boyfriend should petition the court for physical custody, citing the verbal and emotional abuse she's subjected this child to as a means of getting back at the two of you, with you as a witness. If the court won't grant him physical custody, then child protective services should be notified as this young boy cannot continue to remain in this woman's custody.

Quote:

Originally Posted by s_cianci

She's using the child to manipulate the two of you. Furthermore she's verbally and emotionally abusing the child and the two of you. Your boyfriend should petition the court for physical custody, citing the verbal and emotional abuse she's subjected this child to as a means of getting back at the two of you, with you as a witness. If the court won't grant him physical custody, then child protective services should be notified as this young boy cannot continue to remain in this woman's custody.

We took her to court an nothing has changed. We didn't take her to court on that note though But right now we don't have the money we are trying to pay the debt off that she racket up the christmas they broke up two years ago she racked it up so high an left him. Then had a new boyfriend move into there apartent a week later. Anyway when we get the money maybe we will do that thanks

Wow, I truly hate that woman. This poor child has no reason to suffer because she's a whore. Yeah, I said it. I agree that for the good of this child he must get away from her mother. In the meantime, and I know your not going to like this answer, but in the mean time I think any extra time that child can spend with the father is better for the child. Even if it's only an hour. His son is being raised by a manipulative, bitter woman. If your boyfriend can help keep his son away from her then he should do it, even if it means getting walked on.

And I guess I hate to say this to you since you've done nothing wrong but can you honestly continue looking to the future with this going on forever? The reality is it's not going to change. This may be way to far in the future but can you imagine raising a child with an older brother that has suffered this kind of emotional abuse? Your just going to be passing that abuse on to your child, who also did not ask for any of this. I don't want to tell you to end a relationship over this but at some point the reality has to set in this is never going to change and she is always going to be in his life because of the son.

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Originally Posted by chuff

Wow, I truly hate that woman. This poor child has no reason to suffer because she's a whore. Yeah, I said it. I agree that for the good of this child he must get away from her mother. In the meantime, and I know your not going to like this answer, but in the mean time I think any extra time that child can spend with the father is better for the child. Even if it's only an hour. His son is being raised by a manipulative, bitter woman. If your boyfriend can help keep his son away from her then he should do it, even if it means getting walked on.

And I guess I hate to say this to you since you've done nothing wrong but can you honestly continue looking to the future with this going on forever? The reality is it's not going to change. This may be way to far in the future but can you imagine raising a child with an older brother that has suffered this kind of emotional abuse? Your just going to be passing that abuse on to your child, who also did not ask for any of this. I don't want to tell you to end a relationship over this but at some point the reality has to set in this is never going to change and she is always going to be in his life because of the son.

Yes I think about that all the time. I love him to death though. So I think I'm going to stay with him he wants to marry me an have a kid. When he has his kid for the weekend the kid is pretty good its just when he comes over from his moms house its like we have to re teach him what's right an what's wronge. If he got fully custody which we are working on then I think this would all change. The only thing that's in our way is the courts they favor mothers. I mean she has a job, but soon she says she quiting it cause she pregnant by her boyfriend. An even her neighbors have called child services on her. I have been keeping a log as to every thing that's happens an let me tell you I got so much crap written down lol. There's been a police report because her boyfriend came out an hit my boyfriend while he was picking up the baby an had him in his arms. An she just stood right next to them an watched then came over to pick her son up an tried to fight troys mom so I mean all these things look bad on her part. Once we get enough money an find a house to start our lives that's when we will go for full custody. I know he comes with tons of baggage an that I can't get rid of her. But this little boy I feel so bad for him he is like crying out to me an my boyfriend every time that he doesn't want his mom. I don't know I think about what you say a lot an always end up come back an just think things can an will eventually get better if we try. We just have to wait to get a decent lawyer the last lawyer sucked. But he was cheap. You get what you pay for I guess. But we weren't going for full custody last time we only went there because she wasn't dropping the kids off way past 5 when she was suppose to time an cause of the insident with her boyfriend. I don't know I just am hopeing for things to change an your right they may never change.

Start keeping a log of everything she does, date, times call. Carry a small tape recorder in your pocket and turn it on every time she comes by. Save all the information and take her back to court.

Calling cps cost nothing and you are obligated to report abuse.el your husband and you are his witness.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Calling cps cost nothing and you are obligated to report abuse.el your husband and you are his witness.

Yeah we tried to call the cops once because she dropped him off Friday an Sunday when she's suppose to get him back ten mintues before we go to drop him off we get a phone call its her she tell us "Oh sorry i went up state an the car broke down i wont be back till thursday proably" an she hung up. So I don't know my boyfriend called the cops but they said we should call child custody people an they did nothing my boyfriend has to call out of work all those days an he ended up losing his job. That's why we have had so much trouble paying this debt she racked up off. Then he couldn't pay his 300 doller child support because he had no money. I mean now he has a job but he owes rearages from not paying child support when he didn't have one. Then on top of that we have the debt she racked up. I mean he gets a paycheck an litteraly has nothing left that's why we can't afford a lawyer or even to take her tocourt cost money an there's so many times she broken the child agreements an we call an they say take her to court every time but we can't just be putting all this money out every time. An he can't afford to take off work all the time either .I don't know what to do. The cops always just say call shild services or stuff an we do an nothing has changes thus far.