Do I let go or do I stay? Please help
I have been in an open relationship with a guy for the past 10 months. There are times that we spend together that everything is great. I know he has feelings for me that is stronger than friendship as he has told me time and time again, but he refuses to commit. He happily sees 2 other girls once in a while, where he will text them and take them out for dinner etc. He hardly ever takes me anywhere, but he comes round to see me often and he texts me almost every day. I often ***** and moan that I want a more exclusive relationship but he refuses. He contradicts himself often and although will happily see others, says that if I ever get a boyfriend it will hurt him a lot. He says he doesn't and can't show affection and doesn't show his emotions easily. He has never given me a compliment and sometimes plays with my feelings. It almost feels like I am plan B, it feels like he is selfish and it is all on his terms, when he wants to see me, when he wants to contact me etc. I always have to ask to sleep with him or make the first move because otherwise he doesn't (DEGRADING - I know)
In the past 10 months we have had 2 breaks from each other and we are currently on our 3rd. He can't stay away though and I think the longest we have gone without speaking is 2 days, so during these breaks give or take a day he usually texts me, it is nice to know he cares and perhaps misses me and that is why he texts? I am not sure.
2 weeks ago my father whom I was very close to died of a heart attack, he also had stage 4 cancer and I am trying to deal with this loss. He has been there for me through it all but I asked him to stay away for a while so that I could clear my head. I am missing him terribly today and really want to see him, just for a cuddle, to be held and to be told that everything is going to be OK.
Why can't I let go of him? Why can I not see how much he has hurt me? (there is so much more he has done but it is actually to long a list to write down). Do I forget him and try and move on with my life or do I just let it be, carry on and see what happens? Do I wait around and see if he will ever commit to me or do I leave it now and let my wounds heal. Please let me know your thoughts. Xxx
Comment on Devorameira's post
Thank you for your advice x
Comment on DoulaLC's post
Thank you for your advice, it is just so hard, I want him to make the effort.