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-   -   My daughter is 16 now and lives with her mother but she is unhappy living there (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=530947)

  • Dec 2, 2010, 09:37 AM
    baca1915
    My daughter is 16 now and lives with her mother but she is unhappy living there
    What can I do to help her she would like to live with me now
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:05 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by baca1915 View Post
    what can i do to help her she would like to live with me now

    Talk to your ex about a custody change.

    Why does your daughter not want to live with her mother any longer?
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:08 AM
    baca1915
    Her mom has mood swings and is very difficult to get along with always yelling and never home .I don't know what to do . I would love her to live with me
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:10 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by baca1915 View Post
    her mom has mood swings and is very difficult to get along with always yelling and never home .i dont know what to do . i would love her to live with me

    Is she violent towards your daughter? Is your daughter being neglected or abused?

    You have two ways to go about this:
    A) You and your ex come to a mutual agreement that your daughter may reside with you primarily, draft the agreement, both sign and submit it to the court.
    B) You file in court for a custody change. This is the harder of the two because you're going to have to prove grounds for the change. A 16-year-old girl suddenly saying, "I don't like it here" isn't grounds.
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:24 AM
    baca1915
    I don't think she hits her . I know that she locks them out of the house had to pick her and her brothers up because of that. Tells them they have messed up her plans of going out ,I know she just keeps them for the child support that I pay. They are always telling me that she is crazy and needs help
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:26 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by baca1915 View Post
    i dont think she hits her . i know that she locks them out of the house had to pick her and her brothers up because of that. tells them they have messed up her plans of going out ,i know she just keeps them for the child support that i pay. they are always telling me that she is crazy and needs help

    Next time she locks them out, call the police so that it is on record. Has CPS ever been involved?
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:31 AM
    baca1915
    If cps has been involved I have no knowledge of it . My daughter cries and saids she has no one to talk to about the problem
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:34 AM
    baca1915
    If her mother was told she has aids and so does the boyfriend she lives with .could that be cause to get my kids back
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:40 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by baca1915 View Post
    if her mother was told she has aids and so does the boyfriend she lives with .could that be cause to get my kids back

    First mood swings, now AIDS? First you said "daughter, now "my kids"? What is the entire story?
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:42 AM
    excon

    Hello b:

    You never did say ANYTHING about your custody and visitation agreement. It's my bet that you don't have one.

    If that's so, and your 16 year daughter wants to live with you, SEND her a plane ticket.

    Exco
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:44 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by baca1915 View Post
    if her mother was told she has aids and so does the boyfriend she lives with .could that be cause to get my kids back

    No. That would be like saying because someone has diabetes, they're not fit to raise a child.

    CPS is supposed to inform the non-custodial parent when there has been involvement but to be honest, I'm less than impressed with that particular division. I recently watched a friend struggle as her daughter's home was raided for drugs; the police found needles and drugs all throughout the apartment where her 6-year-old grandson easily could have accessed it. CPS investigated and did absolutely nothing.

    Your daughter needs to speak to a counselor at her school about this. Encourage her to be truthful because making things up will not help you whatsoever. And as I said, next time her mother locks her out, contact the police.
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:45 AM
    baca1915
    It is a total of four kids the others are a little younger 16 15 12 10 , I am telling you what I now , yes she has mood swings that is what has caused our divorce, and the aids thing came in later not to sure about all of that . Just needed to ask the question. I am trying to help my kids my daughter is the oldest and suffers the most having to go through all of that and trying to be calm for her siblings .
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:48 AM
    baca1915
    No I have rights to them and they are always with me. I do what I can for them cause the mom won't,
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:50 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by baca1915 View Post
    no i have rights to them and they are always with me. i do what i can for them cause the mom wont,

    If they are always with you, what's the problem? Do you live near their mother?
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:52 AM
    baca1915
    I live about 2 miles away. There mother gets mad sometimes and does not let them come with me when she know we have made plans to spend the day together
  • Dec 2, 2010, 10:57 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by baca1915 View Post
    i live about 2 miles away. there mother gets mad sometimes and does not let them come with me when she know we have made plans to spend the day together

    What does your custody agreement state about how much time you are allowed to have the children?

    I think you'd be better off requesting 50/50 physical custody rather than trying to obtain primary.

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