Several times I have had flashbacks of abuse of the sexual nature. I have remembered at least three different incidents. This past Thanksgiving I confronted my Mother about my fears and telling her that I was having flashbacks of being molested by my father. She confirmed my suspicions, by telling me some pretty graphic details and telling me pretty heart breaking information about how the police wouldn't stop visitations to my father to end my abuse.

After all of this, I keep breaking down and crying. I'm having trouble being intimate with my husband, and I can't talk to my paternal grandmother. I had a specific flashback where she admitted to my aunt that she knew I was being molested and she knew my younger male cousin was being molested. I can't bring myself to talk to her, I'm so angry that she let it happen to me.

I want to confront all of them. I know it won't get me anywhere. How do I get back to my life as normal? How do I stop feeling ashamed? How do I cope with this? I don't know how to become myself again?

You must find a counselor/therapist who works with adult victims of child abuse. That's the only way I know of that will allow you to work through all the feelings that you have and to find ways to deal with various family members.

Will you do this -- find and go to a counselor?

You have to have closure, and you need to confront EVERYTHING, EVERYONE who stood by and let it happen, only then will you be able to let go. Your father has to be made accountable for his actions as well and you have to make that happen no matter how uncomfortable it may make you. Get it all over an done with so you can move on,

Tick

A good therapist (interview a few to find the one you feel is best for you) can help you work out your anger and when and how to confront people. A support group of others in the same situation will help too. Look in a local paper for groups.

I have already made contact with a few counselors in my area and am in the process of trying to find the one I find is best for me.

Two years ago I asked my grandmother about it, because I was having some pretty vivid flashbacks, and she immediately denied it. Of course I was to afraid to talk to my mother at that point and so I didn't have anything to substantiate my memories.