We have a relationship of 3 years. He always said he wanted everything with me, house, children... a happy life. But he still married with 2 teenagers. He's wealthy and afraid to lose half of it because of my pregnancy.
He wants this baby, and I know he loves me. He supports me in everything, money etc. But he still in that marriage and also wants to keep our relationship as happy as nothing has changed.
The problem it's that I'm not happy, I'm really mad at me and at him for not making the decision to leave them... or leave me. I told him I can't keep up with this fairytale because it's not only me to think of, it's this baby I'm worried about .

He makes me feel like I'm overreacting and my "Hormones" are in big play in all my moodyness lately/

I need some advice, I can't ask my friends about it... I'm really lonely in this decision and very sad. It's hard to leave him because he's a great man. But I'm so mad at him right now I can't think straight.

Yumita.

Your main concern right now is your health and well being of your unborn child. The emotional rollercoaster is causing undue added stress. Being unhappy isn't conducive to a healthy pregnancy. Both mother and child can be affected he's going to do what he wants. You need to be the grown up and put the baby ahead of him. If it were me, I'd cut him loose, see an attorney regarding child support.at present nothing is stopping him from walking out on his responsibility toward the child. It takes two to tango and sometimes the piper doesn't get paid.
As for saying your over reacting and blaming it on hormones, he's in essence blaming you for for putting him on the spot. He's feeling guilty for two timing you and his wife. Without passing judgement, you know in your heart of hearts you were taking a chance with a married man. N ow its time to step up to the plate and do what's right.

I will go with the first poster, you have brought this on yourself by accepting his lies and lying to yourself,

He wants to be married, and so he values his money more than you. You are just another thing and he will never leave his wife for you. You need to be sure and sue him for child support to take care of the child.

Honestly, I think that anyone who ever says they have never been attracted to another married person will someday be in that place. Just because there is a ring, doesn't mean that you are less attracted to someone. If there are sparks, there are sparks. It is really up to you past that if you are going to pursue something that is really usually a worthless travel. I feel for you because this is a hard place to be. Once you cross the line, your heart is never the same and now there is a baby in between. The only thing I can think to offer is: Are you prepared to do it alone in case he doesn't leave her? Being pregnant and alone can take a toll, and it might do some bad things to your mind. Also, is he going to tell the wife? How will she take the news of a new baby so late in his life (if he has teens.)? You are not alone no matter what. There are plenty of people that have been in a similar situation, and live with their demons silently. I am proud of you for admitting that you need help and that you know you made a mistake. Takes a bigger person to admit that than to judge. By far it is much easier to judge and place blame.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yumita

We have a relationship of 3 years. He always said he wanted everything with me, house, children...a happy life. But he still married with 2 teenagers. He's wealthy and afraid to lose half of it because of my pregnancy.
He wants this baby, and I know he loves me. He supports me in everything, money etc. But he still in that marriage and also wants to keep our relationship as happy as nothing has changed.
The problem its that I'm not happy, I'm really mad at me and at him for not making the decision to leave them...or leave me. I told him I can't keep up with this fairytale because it's not only me to think of, it's this baby I'm worried about .

He makes me feel like I'm overreacting and my "Hormones" are in big play in all my moodyness lately/

I need some advice, I can't ask my friends about it...I'm really lonely in this decision and very sad. It's hard to leave him because he's a great man. But I'm so mad at him right now I can't think straight.

Yumita.

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In my eyes the smuck wants his cake and to eat it to. Your not happy, his wife and kids would not be happy if they had a clue.
He is a great man? That line really gets me -- he is cheating on his family and taking advantage of your love.
My gut tells me you are quite a bit younger than him.
If you where my sister I would tell you to move on -- there are plenty of good guys out here

At this point the only important thing is to have a healthy baby and do your best to raise him/her. Make sure you get child support.

Why can't you ask your friends about? Are you afraid they are going to critize you? Its sad you have to sleep with a married man then second, getting pregnant. Obviously he is sticking with his wife so you to be strong and do it on your own. I mean when your child grows up what are you going to tell it? "I was the mistress of your father and we are one big happy family" I think not!!

All you should worry about is your baby and child support, if he evr leaves his wife and you still have feeling then you should go after him but, just deal with your baby and make sure it has everything it needs.


p.S good luck with the baby

Here we go again. The lying married guy.

I feel so sorry for you.

He will never leave his family.

Get the child support in order.

You know this was all WRONG!! Ughhhh - I hate this - we get a new one every day.

Just because your attracted to someone doesn't mean you should EVER react on it.

What don't people get??

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

- I hate this - we get a new one every day.

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I hear you! It is though vows are not taken seriously these days! Vows use to mean forever and now they seem to mean... whenever!:eek:

Well now you are attached to this man for the rest of your life, whether you want to or not. I would get child support and take care of the baby.

I agree with wildcat-here's another one! He's married--stay away. :mad:

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Originally Posted by texshorty81

Honestly, I think that anyone who ever says they have never been attracted to another married person will someday be in that place.

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I have... I have! But... I have never acted on it! I have been put in the situation several times but I never thought twice about it! There are a lot of attractive people in this world!

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Originally Posted by texshorty81

Just because there is a ring, doesn't mean that you are less attracted to someone.

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No but it does mean they are off limits. If that was the case... why even wear wedding rings! Maybe it should just be a free-for-all!! :rolleyes:

Yumita... I don't mean to be disrespectful but when you've been in a situation where you have been the wife that was cheated on... it hits a nerve.

I agree with the other posts that you need to worry only about yourself and the baby! You can't make him leave his wife and kids and for the baby's sake, you need to take care of yourself physically and mentally if the outcome on "daddy" doesn't go your way!

I wish you the best of luck!

But this is part of the issue, someone needs some judgement, it is obvious the married man is not making any good ones, and having a long affair and a baby by a married man leaves a lot of judgement in question also.

So what you are calling "judgement comments" are people trying to tell you to straighten your life out and get out of a relationship that will never be any good. We don't want to see you wasting more of your life.

When your child is 14 do you want to explain to them, yes daddy is at home with his wife and family but he will be sleeping over here next Tuesday and then you can see him ?

Exactly.

Of course this JOKER wants to keep everything the same - he is in a hell of a lot of water.

These women need to understand that if can't tell your parents he's married... move on.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

But this is part of the issue, someone needs some judgement, it is obvious the married man is not making any good ones, and having a long affair and a baby by a married man leaves alot of judgement in question also.

So what you are calling "judgement comments" are people trying to tell you to straighten your life out and get out of a relationship that will never be any good. We don't want to see you wasting more of your life.

When your child is 14 do you want to explain to them, yes daddy is at home with his wife and family but he will be sleeping over here next tuesday and then you can see him ?

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[I]Look, If I came to this forum, was to get advice from average people, so then Ican compare thoughs...judgement is wrong...and you MUST know more than me since you seem to be a "Priest". I get it...and I'm working on getting my life straight as we speak...and let me tell you. I'm doing much better.
I apprettiate in part 10% of you advice, but you're judgemental and bias. MY ADVICE to you is to get a LIFE!! YOU preach to be an expert when you don't even know what is to give love as a partner...and if you're a priest, you don't have kids on your own. WHAT DO YOU know about life?? all you do is spend hours reading everybody elses problems and give " YOUR BIAS OPINIONS.
LEAVE ME ALONE... please ignor me!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yumita

[I]Look, If I came to this forum, was to get advice from average people, so then Ican compare thoughs...judgement is wrong...and you MUST know more than me since you seem to be a "Priest". I get it...and I'm working on getting my life straight as we speak...and let me tell you. I'm doing much better.
I apprettiate in part 10% of you advice, but you're judgemental and bias. MY ADVICE to you is to get a LIFE!! YOU preach to be an expert when you don't even know what is to give love as a partner...and if you're a priest, you don't have kids on your own. WHAT DO YOU know about life?? all you do is spend hours reading everybody elses problems and give " YOUR BIAS OPINIONS.
LEAVE ME ALONE....please ignor me!!

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Hi again
It's a fact of life that everybody is judgmental. We all have to make a call with/on the facts that are presented to us. Really in a forum like this did you think everybody would say how sweet she is sleeping with a married man?
But also a truth is I am sure you know you f**ked up and do not really need to have your nose rubbed in it.
By the way I think Fr Chuck is a preacher not a priest and preachers do marry.

Yumita,

I can clearly see you are in a world of pain and in no way do I judge you. I am unfit to judge anyone. However, with that said, because of the level of pain you are in your wrongly lashed out at Father Chuck and that Yumita, I will tell you is shameful and completely distrespectful. You owe him an apology.

He gave you loving advice. For example, he said "We do not want to see you waste more of your life." That is loving not judgemental.

Again, I do not judge you at all. I will pray for you, honestly and wish I could say words that would bring you comfort to help turn your life around and help ease your pain.

Yumita, because of the situtation you are in, there are no kind words. If the truth be known, if I had to choose, who cared more about your well being, Father Chuck or this married man, oh boy, well, I am sure you know what my answer to that would be.

I am not trying to scold you, but again, you took your pain out on Father Chuck in a very disrespectful manner, and that is so very sad. But we all do things when we are in pain, and the people here, whether you feel it in your heart or not, truly wish to help. You need to redirect that pain and anger to where it belongs.

Dry those tears, take care of yourself and the child you carry, and let today be a fresh start for you.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Yumita

[i]Look, If I came to this forum, was to get advice from average people, so then Ican compare thoughs...judgement is wrong...and you MUST know more than me since you seem to be a "Priest". I get it...and I'm working on getting my life straight as we speak...and let me tell you. I'm doing much better.
I apprettiate in part 10% of you advice, but you're judgemental and bias. MY ADVICE to you is to get a LIFE!! YOU preach to be an expert when you don't even know what is to give love as a partner...and if you're a priest, you don't have kids on your own. WHAT DO YOU know about life?? all you do is spend hours reading everybody elses problems and give " YOUR BIAS OPINIONS.
LEAVE ME ALONE....please ignor me!!

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Hi Yumita!

Glad to hear that you are working on getting your life straight! Your number one priority should be focused on you and your unborn child.

First off... Fr_Chuck is a Pastor/Bishop with the Servants of the Good Shephed. They ARE allowed to marry and he IS married! He knows more about life than you think! Read some of his posts!

Secondly... I am an average person and I gave my honest opinion!

Thirdly... I do feel sorry for you! You have gotten yourself in one heck of a situation that you don't know how to fix. I think you realize you did wrong and just want to know how to fix it..

Fourthly... what is it that you wanted to hear from us? You asked for our advice and we gave it to you! Did you want us to lie? I myself try to be honest with people and yet try to be respectful! But... I will not lie about my opinion!

When I was married to my "cheating husband" I did try to put myself in his "mistresses" position. I know my husband was a sweet talker. And that is all he was is a sweet talker! She fell for it like I fell for it! I didn't have sympathy for her because she knew he was married. I couldn't understand why anyone would ALLOW themselves to get involved with someone who was married. What makes that person think that if he does leave his wife (which mine didn't, I left him and he cried like a baby:rolleyes: ) that if he marries them, they won't do the same to them? Do they think they "mean more" to that man than his wife who bore their child/children? Do they think about this man's wife and kids... No! My daughter was devistated by our divorce. She cried and somewhat blamed me because her dad told her that I left him. I took the high road and decided that she is too young to know WHY I left. I wasn't going to tell her that her daddy cheated on her mommy! I know the father of your child has grown kids but when they find out about there father, they will resent him!

I may not be the right person to answer your thread because of my experience! Maybe I feel that I am speaking for his wife!

I do wish you luck and I will keep you in my prayers! I am not here to make you feel any worse than you already do but I believe you were way too hard on Fr_Chuck!