I love my girlfriend very much. We've been together for a year and we live together. We've had our ups and our downs, but we've managed to overcome them. But now she wants to be a stripper and I haven't really given my opinion on the matter. All I've said " is this that you really want?" she says "yes" and I leave it at that. I don't want her to be a stripper. I don't want to think about her dancing for guys that are only thinkinh about one thing. I know that if she were to dance I would feel too disgusted and hurt to even look at her. Buy of coursei wouldn't want to make her feel bad. Idk exactly what I'm asking, I just want to know what you would do. Keep on mind that I'm in love with her very much and that she's in love with me or so she says.

That's tough man. It sounds like you know exactly what you'd do though. If she does pursue this... job, you need to either come to terms with it or leave but it sounds to me like you'd leave. Personally I would. But there's a pretty big secondary question that I have- what is driving her to WANT to become a stipper? Most stories of strippers that I've heard, say that they're driving to it out of sheer necessity. If that's not the casein her situation I'm sensing a lot of issues from her past being brought up.

First of all, have you asked her why she wants to dance?
The reasons can surprise you.
I mean, I was a dancer and I loved it. I still do. But right now I'm with a guy who is not quite Okay with it. It may sound crazy to him, but he knows I like it, that it did me a lot of good, and its close to my heart. Its what I like.
He knows me, and he knows that I will go home to him, that I am in love with him. I did stop for him, only because he said he would seriously take care of all my bills and all the above. I still work two days a week when he is away on business. He knows this and is fine with it. He knows the managers, the bouncers and all the girls. He even met some of my regulars.
The trick was a compromise. I worked a lot less, choose a club he was comfortable in, and he comes to see me often and everyone knows he is my boyfriend. I still get to do something I like, feel a little independent.
I mean I seriously don't think it matters what the guys think of her, or what they want of her. She doesn't care, all she wants is his money and go home to you. You have to be sure this is it for her.
Still the situation can vary. I do it for a bit of freedom, and fun. Its not because I want to be with other men, or anything of that nature-It all very selfish in my terms.
So if she wants to do it for emotional, personal reasons find out what and why they are... see if they are reasonable and dancing will help-not make it worse. If its for money, then discuss your financial needs and see if its necessary.
If anything get her to research a lot, go to clubs with her as customers and ask the girls, and workers the questions about the job. Trust me, she is likely to change her mind if she is after glam and lots of money.
This job is made for a certain kinds of people because the lifestyle is hard. It keeps you from friends and family. You have to be one hard working girl to make it work out fine.
Relationship don't work with a stripper not because of the nature of the job... but the a hours. You will be living in two different time frames. It will be hard to be together.
In the end. If you find a club you like the look and rules of... then to feel comfortable make your face a know face there, get to know the bouncers and management-this way you will have a support group who will keep her safe and make sure you know she is keeping to the rules. But do not use as a spy thing or them as snitches... cause they might just lie to you just to stir trouble.
Just make you decisions on the environment she is in. Make sure it fits with your standards.
If you find a middle ground and she still wants to dance... Let her go for a trial... see if she gets it and likes it. It's hard for the first few months... she will give up if she is not truly into it. Make sure its more than a week... the experience needs to sink in.
Also, please, whatever you do... ask her to only do it part time. Only a few days at most... anymore it will cause problems. And she knows everything else comes before this job.
I mean if you love her. Support her. Compromise a bit. (no matter how strongly you feel) I mean how could you look at the girl you love with discuss just because she wants to do this? I mean seriously... you can't be in love if you are this naïve? Love is compromise. Love is allow your lover to find themselves and do what they need to do-with your support.
If she loves you... she will compromise too. But you can't ask her NOT to do it because she loves you. You do not rule her, as much as she doesn't rule you. You simply work together... somehow.
So work with her on this idea. Get her to take her time.
Hope it helps.

Yea I would honestly talk to her about it... sounds like you haven't really approached her with how it will make you feel. I would voice your concern and take it from there. If she still wants to do it, then you'll eventually have to leave.

You can't tell her what to do, but you can support the decisions that she make. However, if you can't find it in yourself to support her, then maybe she's not the right girl for you.

Being in love with her and being compatible with her are two very different aspects that need to be present in the relationship. It's very difficult to hold on to a long term relationship if you're not compatible with each other, even if you really love each other.

You need to let her know how you feel.
Sometimes love is not enough. When you two don't see eye to eye on issues that are important to both of you, you may have to leave.
If it bothers you, it does. You can either deal with it or you can't.
There are some things I can't deal with and that means me and the person are just not compatible.
Relationship are complicated enough without adding stuff you know is going to be a problem

Hello j:

Dude. It's a job. It pays really well too. If she wants to screw around, she'll screw around if she were selling shoes. Oh, I understand that you have reservations about it... I suggest, however, that it has NOTHING to do with stripping, and EVERYTHING to do with trust issues...

excon

You should have been honest from the get go when she brought it up, and had a discussion about her feelings, and motives, and yours. In the end, its her call, but at least you both will know how each other feels. From there you do what you have to do, together, or apart.

The point is, if your afraid to express yourself honestly to your girlfriend, you are not in a real relationship anyway!

Find out why she wants to do it. She may just be thinking it would be easy money.

Tell her how you really feel about the idea. If it really isn't a big deal to her, just something she thought would be an easy way to make some money, she would likely decide not to go ahead with it since it would bother you.

You won't know until you talk about it.