My girlfriend and I have been together for nine months. In the beginning everything was great and we fell in love right away. We always wanted to see each other and our feelings seemed reciprocated. I'm a very affectionate and loving Guy and put her in front of everything else in my life. As time went on however she became less affectionate. Now when I'm at her house or with her friends she pays attention to everyone else except me the whole night. I'm not asking for her to be by me the whole night but she literally separates herself and hangs out with her friends who are mostly guys and every now and then ill see her flirting with them. Tried saying something but she gets mad saying she's hanging out with her friends who she never sees. On a side note, I'm at her house everyday with her and her parents yet she won't see my parents. Lately I've been somewhat ignoring her even went to a party without her and she got mad saying she feels like I don't like her. But I just tell her the same thing and she asks why I've changed.

Have you both sat down and talked about everything you have written here? There could be just some misinterpretation of both your actions. On one hand you say she has changed and she feels the same of you. You may have just hit that "lull" time in a relationship where both of you are just becoming comfortable with each other and just being yourselves. Whether or not you the both of you can compromise and/or like what you discover about each other remains to be seen.

I say start talking about what's going on... ignoring the issue will just lead to a breakup.

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Originally Posted by bigblue123

My girlfriend is selfish and unaffectionate

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Hello big:

Throw her to the curb. I could handle selfish (and I have)... But, unaffectionate - NEVER!

excon

The honeymoon period never lasts forever in a new relationship, nor does the putting the best foot forward. The real challenge is what you do about the issues that pop up when things start being natural, and normal and people start acting more themselves and are not trying to impress and enjoy each other.

You both are getting comfortable, but still have much to learn about each other. Some will be good, and some NOT so good but its all part of the process of getting to know each other better, and how you will define the relationship.

When the honeymoon is over, the real work begins.

Over kill alert!! You are in a relationship, that does not mean being attached at each others hips! You are getting bored with each other. There is nothing new, its same old stuff, heck you are both together so much that you probably know when the others goes to bathroom and how often.
Even twins fight like cats and dogs, yes they love each other, but they LIVE TOGETHER due to being siblings!

Everyone needs to be able to hang out with their friends by themselves and so should you without worrying about getting chewed out from girlfriend/boyfriend!

Go and do things together, sport activities,movies,parties, etc. But stop hanging OUT EVERY MINUTE of the day. She needs to go to her house and YOU to yours and be done for the day. Otherwise I guarantee you that this relationship won't last! Fighting and accusing each other is not a relationship its hurtful games.
Good luck

You are seeing who they truly are for the first time. I am not the best at relationship advise, trust me, but this one I know.

The first 3 months to a year of a relationship they are running on pure infatuation and emotion and they are floating on air and everything else just enjoying the high. After that phase wears off and the hormones start coming back down, then you start seeing who they truly are.

I come to think of it as for the first couple months of a relationship, you aren't dealing with them, you are dealing with their representative. After that, they are comfortable around you and you see who they really are and the claws come out and if they are rebounding off another relationship it can go to some real extremes cause you are also riding the waves of the previous guy and many will start projecting everything the loved or wished their old mate to be onto you and who knows what they will think of you after the other guy is out of their system.

This is entirely normal, this is who they really are. But I would set her straight as far as flirting with other guys pretty quick though before it turns into something else. And as far as her not seeing your parents, I can understand that, she might be really nervous about how they would see her.

If you can't work out these issues, then you're better off going your separate ways.

Both if you need to sit down and work out an understanding so that you don't talk about the same issues over and over again. Sounds like you're going in circles in your fights. Settle things so that they don't have to keep re-occuring.

It sounds like she is immature and is not ready for a relationship. She may have been in the beginning but now you can see through her actions that she doesn't anymore. She has made it clear hanging with her friends and not you that that's how she feels. Also its 50/50 in a relationship and not meeting your parents is the one way street. There are other women out there who will be a better girlfriend. Sorry to be say it but it is what it is.