I know this is a bit complicated situation, and I am the only one who is responsible for it but please don't judge me I do it for myself quite enough time. Well my story is I have been together with my partner now husband for 7 years he is a great man but I am not in love with him. 2 years ago I met a married man, whom I really fell for but after few months affair he decided to stay with his wife and moved to another country. We still talk and I still have feelings for him, waiting for his emails every day and kind of hope we would get together some other time. He tells me he thinks about me a lot and we have to live with this situation. I know probably it is a piece of crap and he has been just playing with me all the time although he keeps saying it what we have had it is very special and if I ask he says he has never played with me. But the thing is I want to believe he truly loves or loved me. I really do want to forget about him, just want to erase everything about him from my mind. It would be so much easier to cope with this. But I cant! After he moved I wanted to end my previous relationship but I couldn't do it and he asked me to marry him. I thought maybe it would be better if I was married to him just can start a new life. He is my best friend and I know my life would be emptier without him but I don't love him the way a wife should love her husband. So now I am here married, heartbroken by another man after getting 6 months therapy for depression and I feel just I will never be able to get over the another guy. I have never wanted to hurt my husband and I am not proud of what I did, I didn't ask for this, just want to love my husband, be happy with him and stop loving the another guy. Will I ever forget about him and stop loving him?

No doubt you have made some monumental mistakes and errors in judgement here.

How could you marry someone you do not love?

"He is my best friend and I know my life would be emptier without him but I dont love him the way a wife should love her husband".---- this pretty much say's it all... since you don't love your husband , the only option here is to divorce. Do you think it is very fair to be deceiving him ? Doesn't he deserve someone who is going to love him whole heartedly? Perhaps if he loves you enough he may want to work on things with a counselor. But, who knows.

Make no mistake , you created this situation... now you have to do the time. Please continue with you therapy. I I hope you get the help you need. Best of luck.

I can't tell you how to love your husband, but I can tell you this. If you don't totally break off all communications with the other man, you will never ever be totally happy with your husband. You need to break it off, as you are still cheating on your husband by having an emotional affair with the other man.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but IF the other guy truly loved you, he would be with you now... he wouldn't be with his wife.

You were only a "fling", so you need to stop communicating with him altogether and put that effort into your marriage. If need be, change your email address and block him from any social networks.

I presume that therapy would have included the long-term affair you have had, and still continue to have, with your married boyfriend. What has your therapist done to address this problem, and has she given you advice that was helpful. Was therapy started in addition to the boyfriend situation, or because of the boyfriend situation that resulted in you needing therapy to cope with.

I say the affair is still on-going if you are in contact with this man in any way, shape, or form. That none of the obvious factors have not stopped you from being in continuous touch with him, and that you express jealousy and anger toward him, seems to me at least, that you are not processing the end of the relationship with him, but rather keeping the flame alive.

And I have to ask you why you choose to do this. Being depressed isn't a reason, or an excuse to have an affair, or to keep in touch with a married man after the physical part of the affair is over. Being unhappy in a marriage is also not reason enough, even if you are depressed, to carry on or justify feelings for another man, past or present. Surely you knew when you decided to marry your (now) husband, that that would not solve the feelings you had, and have, for this other man.

So, all excuses aside, what is it about you, yourself, that still continues to make inappropriate choices. Why, despite all that has happened, do you continue to live a lie with your husband, and not end the relationship with the married man. It just seems particularly cruel to marry a man under false pretence, because you weren't able to be with your married boyfriend.

All you can do, is be honest. If you can own up to the fact that you do not love your husband as a wife should, and you cannot be committed to him, and you cannot let your relationship with your married boyfriend, go, your husband deserves at least the truth. I doubt that he is oblivious to your unhappines, and likely feels responsible for that himself, or he is blaming your behaviour on being depressed.

Being depressed, or being unhappily married, or being lonely, or anything else, doesn't cause an affair. While they are contributing factors, or factors that you feel justifies your actions, they still do not cause it. I've read nothing on any pill bottle that says, 'Warning! Medication may cause an affair!'

You cannot, in my opinion, have a healthy marriage, when you are together because another, secret relationship, didn't work out. You have said that he decided to return to his wife, and still you keep a lifeline going with him. While you make the choice to do that, you are undermining any possible healthy relationship with your husband. You are still betraying him, as you know, and continue to betray him.

Making mistakes is part of being human, but repeating mistakes in predictable patterns, and implying that you somehow have no control over your life, or enough control over your life, that you cannot help yourself, or stop yourself, just doesn't add up with the excuse that you are a depressed person.

If therapy has not helped you in six months, to enable you to make changes in yourself to live a better, healthier life with appropriate choices, then I would advise you to seek another therapist. Then again, all the therapy and medication in the world will not ultimately make choices for you, you have to make them yourself.

Thank u that is exactly the answer what I needed! :)