I am 21 and she is 27 we've been together for 1year 3 months, she likes the whole partying and going out and I am the opposite id rather sit at home and watch a movie with her. We are living together basically since the very beginning. We broke up over this about 2 weeks ago and we managed to work things out and now out of the blue its come back to haunt me I love this girl sooo much and I need her back in my life, its meaningless and lonely without her in it. Im having a hard time sleeping, eating and going to work all I want to do is be able to be with her I need her to want me again just like how we use to be.

Who broke up with who?

OK... I see a few things here... just my opinion

Sounds like the both of you are just in different places right now. If she likes to party and you are a homebody then there is always going to be conflicts. Unless there is some sort of compromise then things will never get better.

Not sure how much time you spend at home but, most girls just don't want to spend time at home watching movies. Are you sure you haven't been neglecting this girl? It's an easy rut to get into when things are going well and you are comfortable with the relationship. Before you know it things start coming out of the blue. So, essentially what may have happened here is that she has noticed you are not the same guy she fell in love with. ( I could be wrong but, that' s what I get out of what you have written).

Maybe, you have been hanging in there for most of your relationship and going out and partying was never really your thing anyway, in which case, she is just starting to realize the both of you are too different. If this is the case, she really doesn't have to compromise with you. She accepts the way you are and therefore not compatible. You say that you two patched things up but, obviously it is a bigger problem than you both thought.

"its meaningless and lonely without her in it"- it's one thing to grieve a relationship and miss a person but, this statement makes me wonder if you have other people in your life( friends, family, etc.. ). Like you have made this woman the priority or center of your life.

If she has told you flat out that it's over and done then let her go. No begging, pleading. Sounds like you should probably go no contact. Read all the stickes at the top of the page. Learn from all of this and move on. Between all the partying she may realize what she gave up but, don't wait on her to come around... she obviously has different priorities right now. Hang in there!

Comment on bkosstype's post
She broke up with me

Comment on ironhide262's post
I can see everything your saying but to me that just won't do.. She made me feel alive everyday even knowing I may not have showed it all the time, Ive been seeing a shrink and stuff to fix myself with some issues I have so it can help us

I also have problems with work that makes it hard for me to go out and have fun cause I'm on call 24/7 and now finally I have someone who can take that responsibility 2 weeks every month but I think its too late now. I need to be able to get

Out of my bubble for her so we can go have fun but I think she may be to the point of not caring to work on it even knowing things are getting better for me I just need her to see that and hang in there for 1 more month if nothing changes then yes

Leave me but give me this 1 month to get things back on track with my life so it can fix out life together, and she is still letting me live with her and sleep in the same bed so thatmust account for something? Does she still want me? Or does she

Just feel sorry for me? And also to bring to the table she was my 1st for everything my longest relationship I've ever had and the 1st I was with

Feel free to write future comments in the "answers box" so you don't run out of room.

Well, you brought out lots of info that certainly puts a new perspective on things.

How long have you been seeing a shrink? Has it been for the whole relationship? From her perspective, if things are not getting better... your "issues" are not getting fixed then she could have reached her limit. Everyone has their breaking point and it could have happened earlier than you think. What will happen in one month that will make her change her mind? She could have told herself to hang in there for one more month 3 months ago. I don't mean to be so harsh but, this could have been the case.

Seems like you are getting a better schedule at work but, that is much less of an issue compared to your problems. Do you believe that this relationship is vital for healing the problems you are seeing the shrink for? I ask this because it should be the other way around. You need to be together, confident and happy to be in a successful relationship. As you know one person can't keep things going forever. You need to be able to feel "alive" all on your own.. without anyone.. happy with yourself.

1st relationships are by far the hardest to get over. I think your ex seems to care for you otherwise she wouldn't of hung in there for the time she did. I find the fact that you are still living together and basically acting like a couple very strange even though things have changed. I think you need to ask her again, for your sake, how she is feeling, is it over?She could very well be torn between hurting you and knowing that she needs to move on. If it is then you should not be together. This kind of behaviour will in the end just confuse and hurt you even more.

The fact is that both of you are not happy. How long can this go on before something really ugly happens that will end up really hurting you? If she has made up her mind and wants a breakup an extra month will do no good... love, attraction, chemistry just can't be turned off and on and it seems like the both of you have been struggling for a while now.

As harsh as breaking up is.. this probably is what you need to work on yourself and get better. For all you know this relationship can be the one thing that has been holding you back. Maybe you have been devoting too much on her, how to make her happy and not enough with your own personal issues?

Comment on ironhide262's post
I don't know how to use the answer box but anyway I've only been seeing the shrink for 3 months and I have been making progress, she is the 1 who mentioned me to go to the shrink a lot of my issues are causes from work and apparently I was born with a

Chemical imbalance so now I'm going to see a psychiatrist to see if I need medication plus I'm on anti depressants cause of all thestress from work I only noticed the depression 4 months ago and I've only been trying to fix it all for about 3 weeks now

I meant I've been seeing the srink for 3 weeks. And right now she is confused at what to do cause she is noticing progress but she is certain its going to take 2 or 3months to see REAL progress and she doesn't want to wait that long but at the same

Time she seems willing to wait and now that I'm going to have 2 full weeks off a month of being on call I have lots of time to have fun and do things with her that I normally couldn't cause I had to be close to my work at all times since its oil patch

Related and the oil patch runs on time

The bottom of the page there is a text box titled "My Answer"... just write your comments in that box and "click" the answer tab. You will see it.

Your story reminds me of a similar situation I went through.
I was moderately depressed once and that was no picnic. I also had a girlfriend at the time, who did her best to try to support me. I really had to focus on myself to get better and there were times when she couldn't understand what I was going on. She hung in there for me and eventually I got better. Unfortunately, the damage was done and we shortly broke up after that. I found out later that she was seeing someone else for over 7 months. It took me a year to get better. I'm not suggesting this is what is going on in your case. But, I do have the clarity of looking back onto that time and I have to say that I was not a very good person to be with at that time. She loved me and put up with a lot but, it took a toll on her. In the end the relationship suffered and it wasn't either of our fault. It was simply a difficult time.

I commend you on doing everything you can to get better. With your determination I'm sure that you will. In the mean time focus on your healing and doing it for you... not to salvage this relationship but, for you. Like I have written before, if you are not happy with yourself how are you going to make someone else happy?

"How do you get my girlfriend back?" This is one of the most asked questions on this forum. The short answer is you don't. You move on with your life, focus on yourself, self improvement, get back to being happy and rediscovering who you are. Only then can you start jumping into relationships again. Get back to being the guy that your ex fell in love with... do it for yourself first then for everyone else, including your ex. Nothing will get her to come back to you except her. The more you try to beg, plead, and throw all kinds of logic at her the more you will just drive her away. Giver her the space she wants, needs... separate, no more living like you are together( it just will not last anyways).

Ironhide is dead on the money, and I hope you get the help you need to be a happy healthy human being, with or without your girlfriend. I commend you for getting help, instead of just wallowing in your own sh1t!!

I am getting help and I have had awesome results I'm feeling better emotionally andphysically, Its still very confuising on the relationship status we are still not a "couple" but we still sleep in the same bed and lets me hold her in bed as if

We were a couple so there's till the attachment but nothing is improving she wants me I can tell by how she acts but she is confused and I'm still wanting her I think things will work itself out soon I just hope before xmas :)