****.. I guess I'll start with the beginning. I am 20 years old in my first "long term" relationship of a year and a half, well actually my first real relationship ever. And its great, He is everything I wanted when I thought of my dream guy and probably more, because I never really expected much. But about 10 months ago I want through some difficult stuff to say the least ( and this guy has been supportive every step). But in no way am I ready for this level of emotional or time consuming or serious of a relationship. And especially with where I am in my life. I am moving back home with my parents and transferring colleges because I need some time to recoup. We have this plan, I am going to move home and recoup and then in the fall I am going to move away with him to any college we can agree on, anywhere in the states. And at first it sounded like a great plan, but it's the kind of we move, we get engaged, get married, start our life kind of move. And while that sounded great, may sound great, with what I went through it kind of put me in this place where I have no clue what I want out of life, In any way. I have changed my major to undecided, am unsure if I even want to be in college, or where I want to go or end up. I Care about this guy so much, and we clic he's essentially perfect for who I was a year ago. But now I feel lost and unsure about everything. I wish I could just leave it all and pack a back pack walk out my front door and go see where I end up. And the only thing keeping me from doing so is who I was. I don't know if how I feel now is how I will feel forever, what if I snap out of it and hate myself for the choice I made. I Have decided that I have 3 choices
1) stay with our plan and move away with the man I love.
2) Take a break from the relation ship still move home and see what happens.
3) **** it I'm packing my passport, i'm 20 years old life and who the **** cares there is plenty of time for this stuff when i'm thirty.
Choice 3 is the one I wish I had the guts to just do, but it's harder then one would think, I love my boyfriend I could see myself with this guy for the rest of my life and we would be happy. I know He or someone exactly like him is the kind of man I want to end up with. So I willing leave the choice to anyone who reads this comment and leave a number 1, 2, or 3. First choice to 5 comments is what I'm going with. I went to out and bought a backpack today so I'm game for whatever you guys choose. But please hurry I can't wait forever.