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-   -   Is I'm ready to have sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=528843)

  • Nov 24, 2010, 10:00 PM
    TRUEME
    Is I'm ready to have sex
    I'm a virgin and I'm lost I mean I know for I fact that I want to have sex but is I'm really... I really don't know
  • Nov 24, 2010, 10:05 PM
    Wondergirl

    How old are you?
  • Nov 24, 2010, 10:09 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Are you ready ( mature and income) to provide for a child if you become pregnant ?

    If you believe in birth control, what methods have you chosen.

    How old are you,
  • Nov 25, 2010, 07:46 AM
    Jake2008
    What does 'ready to have sex' mean exactly, to you.

    That this is some sort of right of passage and because all your friends have done it, that it's time you did it too? Or, are you in a committed, long term relationship, and your boyfriend is pressuring you, and you are finding it harder and harder to say no? Are you afraid that if you don't have sex, he will dump you? Do you need to be more clear with the person you want to have sex with, that you are unsure, and/or not ready, and perhaps you aren't getting your point across?

    Being ready to have sex, without a reason, is not a reason to have sex. Just because you think you're ready, does not mean that you are. You have to consider the consequences, none the least of which is pregnancy, for which there is no known 100% safe way to protect against. There is also the risk of STD's.

    I'm ready to eat an entire box of chocolates, and drink an entire case of beer, and then drive my 4x4 into the side of the train station because I had a bad day, but, because I'm high on chocolate, drunk on beer, and feeling reckless, is that a good reason to do that?

    You can't go back in time, once you make a decision to be sexually active, and erase what you have given away, just because 'you are ready' to have sex. Neighbourhood dogs are ready to have sex with my dog, but that does not mean I'd risk letting her out and hope that nothing will happen.

    Sex isn't something you are 'ready for' in the sense that you are ready for your first relationship, or your first prom, or ready to go to the mall alone with your girlfriends on a Friday night to buy new nailpolish. Just because you can, once again, does not make it a flippant decision to do so.

    My advice to you is until you don't have to question whether you are ready and willing to have sex for all the right reasons, and prepared for the consequences, is to put that decision on hold until you can tell the difference between 'being ready' and 'being mature enough' to handle the consequences.
  • Nov 25, 2010, 07:50 AM
    Curlyben
    >Removed from Adult Sexuality< as the OP is clearly underage.
  • Nov 25, 2010, 08:00 AM
    ScottGem

    The real question is: Are you ready to have a baby? Are you ready to give up a large portion of your own life to focus almost totally on the care of an infant?

    When you can realistically answer yes to the above questions, then (and only then) should you even consider having sexual intercourse.
  • Nov 26, 2010, 01:15 PM
    onceuponadecember92
    Well I think you need to ask yourself something... are you really emotionally ready to make that big of a step, or is it your hormones talking? I know that at times it's very hard to control yourself when you get caught up in the moment, but having sex for the first time is a big decision. There is always a chance that you're going to get pregnant, even if you use birth control. And make sure that your significant other isn't the main force in making you think you want to have sex.. because sometimes we can be our own worst enemies with the way that we think. When you really are ready, it should be your decision and your heart talking, not your significant others'. I hope this helps!
  • Nov 26, 2010, 10:46 PM
    trume3
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    15 but about to be 16 in December
  • Nov 26, 2010, 10:46 PM
    trume3
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    15 but about to 16 in December
  • Nov 27, 2010, 12:08 AM
    Alty

    At 15 you're not ready for the physical and emotional challenges of sex. You're not ready to have a child, and you definitely can't support a child.

    Do you know that no birth control is 100% effective, even if you use 3 different forms at the same time you can still become pregnant. That's the reality.

    What's the hurry? You have your whole life to explore sex, to be an adult, why not just enjoy being a kid?

    Trust me, if you do this now you will regret it one day. If you get pregnant, or get an STD, you'll regret it a lot sooner than you may think.

    Wait. That's really the best option. Take it from someone who knows.
  • Nov 27, 2010, 12:52 PM
    trume3
    Comment on Altenweg's post
    I really understand now but I can't enjoy being a kid cause my mama think I would do something but I know I won't cause I can't even talk about sex I can't even say the word sex out loud I read a lot of stuff on the internet I made me feel very weird
  • Nov 27, 2010, 12:55 PM
    trume3
    Comment on onceuponadecember92's post
    Its probably the hormones and is am emotionally ready no I really really don't think so at all I don't even know what I was thinking in my first question
  • Nov 27, 2010, 12:58 PM
    trume3
    Comment on ScottGem's post
    No to both,I think u are right.. think you
  • Nov 27, 2010, 01:10 PM
    trume3
    Comment on Jake2008's post
    That was such a good point"seriously think u for that it really helped" and I know that having sex is not for me right now so ill definitely wait... think u
  • Nov 27, 2010, 01:29 PM
    Alty

    I'm glad you decided to wait. The fact that you asked the question to begin with shows that you're not ready.

    You have your whole life to be an adult and do adult things. Right now you have to concentrate on being a kid and doing kid things. :)
  • Nov 27, 2010, 03:42 PM
    ScottGem

    Glad to hear you made the right decision.

    For future reference, please don't use the comments feature to post follow-up. Use the Answer options instead.
  • Nov 27, 2010, 04:52 PM
    Wondergirl

    I too am proud of you, trume3.

    For the rest of your life, guys are going to sweet-talk you and say to you with such love in their eyes, "If you love me, you'll have sex with me" or "You won't get pregnant, if I pull out" or "To be a real woman, you have to have sex" (or other things to tempt you into having sex). Don't listen to them! On the other hand, the guys who really respect women (and you) will be willing to listen when you say no and won't try to con you into having sex when you're not ready and before you can afford to take care of a baby.

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