I really don't think he is cheating on me physically not yet anyway but definitely emotionally. Or else why is there such a strong emotional bond between my husband of 6 years and his hometown "friend". Especially if he refuses to give up this female friend and many others as well. She won't stop contacting him. Even recently at midnight after a weeks separation and she was the main call/text he made for a week. According to phone log and after I called/text 2 times in 1yr and warned her not to call to console him because umm, well... THAT'S MY JOB!! She knows what she's doing, right?? And he loves the attention. I have been called jealous and a stalker because I look at the phone records and recently got his own phone line. He has no self control to respect my wishes. Every day I need the answer and beginning to think it lies in all the lies and then it leaves... FYI - Sure, I am OK with an occasional like monthly phone call but not every week or even every day Especially when my MARRIAGE is really the one on the line now!

You need to tell your husband this.
It sounds to me like he has no respect for the marriage.
Ask him if he would agree to counseling and ask him if he wants to be married as he is not behaving like a married man.
Don't get upset at the woman, your husband is the one who needs to put a stop to this.
If he does not want to, then (to me) it says his relationship with this woman is more important to him than the marriage and you have decisions to make.

Had to spread the rep, but I agree 100%.

You have nothing to hate, or fear, from 'the other woman'. She may not be much of a quality person for messing with another woman's man, but, he is the one that is married to YOU. It is him, and only him, that you need be concerned about.

As long as he's making it a two-way street with her, I advise also to try counselling to get past this wedge in your marriage.

Is he cheating? That he leave himself open to that impression, would be enough for me.

I think that each person in the relationship deserves respect and if his contact with another woman is effecting you emotionally then he should respect your wishes and tell his "friend" that there needs to be less frequent contact between them since it is causing problems in your relationship. However I do believe friendship is extremely important and making compromises can be just as effective. Try talking to him about his friend and find out if there is any way he would be willing to introduce you. If that doesn't work then he doesn't respect you.