Ask Me Help Desk - I've been seeing a married man

I've been seeing a married man for over 17 months and its been on and off all that time, about 7 months ago,
When we stopped seeing each other, I went out with my friend and I got drunk upset and he said to stay the night we slept together but we didn't have sex he just comforted me because I was crying, until I fell asleep, after a week I started seeing the married guy again, but now all of a sudden he's asking me why did I do it even though he goes home to his wife he said I cheated on him lol, he said he hates me and he feels sick to think I would sleep with this guy said if it was a guy he didn't know it would have been OK, he told me he used to hit his wife but it was a long time ago because she listened too much to her mother, I see a pattern here he has some weird ideas about sex and told me what he makes her do even if it hurtful or degrading, now he wants me to dressup tomorrow and he will make up his mind if we are going to end this relationship,
Lol, my neighbour says he will be back no matter what he's on to a good thing with you, is there abuse with the way he's acting with me,
whitwing

Get out fast.

This is not, and never will be a healthy relationship. Never get involved with men who hit women. It's never a once-off, there is always the risk that you will say or do something to set him off and he'll hit you. And it sounds as if he is already abusive even when he's keeping his fists to himself.

I won't get into the sex, but anything that goes on between two adults has to be enjoyable to both of them.

And he's married. This is a huge big black mark. Married men find it very easy to get into relationships, because there's no risk to them. They can't be forced to make a commitment to you. You, on the other hand, are investing a huge amount in a relationship that will never go anywhere. Except in this case, possibly to the hospital.

There are several reasons you need to end this relationship immediately:
1) He has admitted to hitting his wife in the past, you only have his word for it that he doesn't still do this.
2) He had the audacity to accuse you of being unfaithful when he is unfaithful to his wife every time he is with you.
3) He is highly unlikely to leave his wife for you and if he does he is very likely to be unfaithful to you too.
4) He is using sex as a bargaining tool with you - he wants you to dress up for him and then he will decide whether to have a relationship with you... what a charmer. Make up his mind for him and end the relationship yourself.
5) This relationship is going nowhere. Save yourself from it and invest your love in a good man who will truly love you and you will make you happy every single day. A man like the friend who comforted you when you were upset - he sounds wonderfully kind and understanding.

HARSHNESS WARNING:

Wow! A cheater and a abuser? He sounds like quite a catch! NOT!

The ONLY person I feel bad for in this situation is his wife. The fact that YOU know this man is degrading, abusive, hurtful, disrespectful to his wife doesn't say much about you.

You know, there are plenty of men out there, what makes THIS guy so special?

How would you feel if YOUR husband was cheating on you? How would that make you feel?

The others posters have told you to get out of this relationship with this man, in which I agree with them. However, if you feel the need to "dressup" for this idiot and meet him to tell YOU if the relationship is over, well then you have missed the point and therefore you two deserve each other. Period.

I think that his wife deserves better!

My opinion was harsh as I have warned you in the beginning, but I am just finding it hard to feel any sympathy for you.

What about this relationship is appealing or makes any sense?
He's married, he's abusive and he wants to cheat on his wife but wants you to be faithful to him.
Get away from this man before he starts slapping you around too. You'll be jumping through hoops for a man who is not even yours.
Get a brain and some self respect and leave this clown alone.

He's making you dressup? Seriously? You don't have an opinion? You can't say no? You have no pride or dignity?

Don't get me wrong if this is what you like.. then you deserve it, what the hell are you doing messing around with a married man in the first place?

Quote:

I see a pattern here

Good for you.. now, connect the dots and get out.