I am the custodial parent and the father gets them everyother weekend. He has been telling the kids he is going to get 50/50 visitation as soon as he gets his disabitlity. He's told me this also and told me that then he will get the disability checks for the kids and not me. He has stated in e-mails that if he was able to watch the kids full time then he would be able to work. Although his fight would be his mom and girlfriend help him. Can he just get 50/50 visitation because he wants it after it being this way for 3 years? I live in Northern California.

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Originally Posted by mommy1970

... Can he just get 50/50 visitation because he wants it after it being this way for 3 years? ...

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No. He would have to go to court and persuade the judge that a change would be in the best interest of the children.

So like what would persuade the judge? He says he would be spending more time with the kids than I do because he would be able to pick them up after school. Which would be 2:00pm. I usually get them from after school care at 4:30 to 5:00 pm. Would this be enough to persuade the judge? Will the judge look at any of the emails where I ask him to help with things and he say's he can't? Or that he says he has to recoup for 3 days after he has them for a weekend and that is with help? He said this himself in an email. I also once asked him to watch my daughter because she might have had staff and he told me it wasn't fair to expose him or his mom if she was contagious. Will the judge look at any of this? Do you suggest I file it in my response when he goes after 50/50?

I wouldn't file it in your response unless email or electronic communication is asked for. But keep it with you as evidence to bring up in court and have multiple copies for yourself the opposing party and the courts to register as evidence.

Is there a reason you don't want him to have that type of joint custody ?

Yes because he is doing it to get the disablity money they would be awarded if ever. He provides nothing for his kids and will not work together on parenting. He yells a lot at the kids and it makes it difficult on everyone.

There are many things he has done that concern me and I don't think the best interest is 50/50. I have no problem with him taking them to play or out to dinner and then bringing them home.

First, please don't use the Comments feature for followups, use the Answer options instead.

It takes a lot for the courts to change a custody order. He would have to prove you have been unfit and that him having primary custody will be in the best interests of the children. Neither of which I can see from what you have said. Just be the best mother you can and don't worry about his empty threats.