Weird break up situation...
GF and I were dating for 2 years in college. Everything was perfect. This fall I came down with deep depression. I would have anxiety attacks about what I felt was a hopeless world and break up with her. Happened probably 8-10 times. I was living in Colorado, she in Chicago. After the tenth time breaking up with her she had enough, said we were broken. I cut ties from her for two and a half weeks. I receive an email how she misses me and felt that because I wasn't doing anything about the depression that she was becoming an enabler. I have since gone on antidepressants and therapy. I have advanced my life (171 LSAT). When we were together we talked about marriage weekly. When she broke up she said she didn't see it as the end. When we talk about it now she said she loves me and that it is still her "dream" to marry me, but she needs to see changes. She needs a "grand gesture." I am not sure if it is the depression, but I still feel like it is over. When we talk on the phone, we fight every time due to my depression. I have since told her I need to work out the depression before I can talk to her more. I have set new years eve as the target date. I hope I am right by then. Would surprising her on new years eve be a horrible idea? Do we still have hope?