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-   -   Why Can't I Attract a Quality Woman? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=525574)

  • Nov 13, 2010, 01:04 PM
    artDDP
    Why Can't I Attract a Quality Woman?
    Everything in my life seems to be falling into place except for one thing, a meaningful relationship with a quality woman. I'm 27 with a great job and good money and am totally self-sufficient. I've got diverse interests and I'm not complacent. I'm tall, reasonably good-looking, in great shape and I dress stylishly.

    I've got no problem meeting and making friends with women and I'm totally self-confident and I know who I am. Yet, most of the women I meet are more interested in if I have some sort of "dangerous" element to me (sleeve tattoo, motorcycle, hot sports car) and they spend most the time we're together preoccupied with their phones.

    Of the few relationships I've been in I usually wind up getting dumped. It begins to chip away at my self-confidence when I see myself struggling yet all my friends seem to find someone new within a week or two and there's nothing "dangerous" about them, either.

    I've tried all that online pick-up stuff and it usually only leads to cheap one-night stands with women I'd rather not spend much time with.

    Each morning I wake up feeling like I could take on the world and as they day wears on I get this nagging feeling that maybe I'm just not THAT likeable; a great friend... and that's it. I really think there's just something missing that I'm not aware of.
  • Nov 13, 2010, 01:25 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    You find the same type of women most likely if you are always looking in the same place, and perhaps place their looks and their "stylish" dress ahead of personality and shared interest.

    You know when I was dating, not a single women cared about a dangerous side, they were looking for security in a relationship.
  • Nov 13, 2010, 01:28 PM
    mmresd
    Let me start by saying that I think in a good long lasting relationships each member looks at the other in a best friends type of thing, so being a good friend is definitely not bad if you are looking for someone (just make sure you don't fall in the infamous "friends zone", but that is very different). Good long lasting relationships take a long time to develop, it doesn't happen over night. Don't get me wrong, there are those rare cases where two people meet each other and stay together forever because they are so-called "soul-mates" but come on, this is reality, not a fairy tale. Just go out there and meet people, a lot of them, don't obsess over wanting a relationship, especially a long lasting one since girls don't really intend, or plan, for those things to happens since the moment they see you. They develop those feelings of love after spending several hours with you, creating memories and experiencing new things together. So just play it by ear, don't worry about it so much, and you will see that soon enough a girl will fall in your arms that will eventually be the person who you are looking for, till then, enjoy your life and don't obsess about being stuck with one woman, because once you do that, it will be the last one (hopefully). :)

    Good Luck,

    Javi
  • Nov 13, 2010, 01:58 PM
    artDDP
    Comment on mmresd's post
    I just want someone to actually want to talk with me instead of being the guy who fills the void when a girl's boyfriend goes to the bar or bathroom.
  • Nov 13, 2010, 09:14 PM
    I wish

    Maybe you could try meeting girls in different settings.

    How about introducing friends of friends?
  • Nov 15, 2010, 02:08 PM
    mmresd
    Comment on mmresd's post
    Well... then just choose to not be that person, try stuff out till you find something promising, any sign of you filling a void immediately eject out of that relationship.

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