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-   -   Help I had sex with a long term friend. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=525437)

  • Nov 12, 2010, 11:03 PM
    onfire
    Help I had sex with a long term friend.
    Hi, so I'm a 20 year old girl. I had sex with my really good friend I've known him since I was 13. So about 7 years or so, and a long time ago he used to really like me. In fact he used to be in love with me, but the timing was always wrong and I was stuck with some jerk. We always have remained friends, and are comfortable talking about anything, no matter how long it's been between seeing each other. We have many mutual friends. And we kept getting drunk and ALMOST hooking up, like kissing etc.. But last weekend we had real sex.. 3 times within a couple hours. We were kind of drunk, but I think he thinks I was more drunk than I was, cause I was totally into what was going on. Now I don't know what to do. I talk to him and he acts awkward and gives me short responses. I thought maybe it might bring us closer together even if it's just a friends with benefits situation although I'm not that kind of girl. I could make an exception for him. I feel really hurt that he isn't acting at all interested anymore when he was telling me how much he always loved me that night. I don't know what to do, I honestly feel like crying.
  • Nov 13, 2010, 01:11 AM
    Alty

    Why not talk to him, tell him what's on your mind, be honest and discuss what happened and how you feel about it?

    Don't wait for him to make the first move. If you want a relationship with this guy than start by communicating with him.

    I'm sure he's feeling the same way you are, wondering why you haven't brought up that night, wondering if it only happened because you were drunk, not wanting to rock the boat and risk losing you.
  • Nov 20, 2010, 06:29 AM
    squeak4svs
    You really think he just wants to be friends with benefits? After he says he loves you?. you not think he is upset cause you had sex, and just sex.. and have nothing else happening between yous? Talk to him.
  • Nov 28, 2010, 12:13 PM
    simii
    TALK TO HIM... this is the best thing if he dose`nt know how are you feeling how will he talk he is your friend so I guess you both have the communication between each other... so talk to him what if he is feeling awkward to talk about what happened that night. So just talk to him and be honest and tell him clearly what is there in your mind or want to have a relationship with him. And one more thing if you are not that kind of a girl why are you even thinking about being friends of benefit... you like him he loves u as u say than why don't you go in a relationship with him.
  • Nov 29, 2010, 05:14 PM
    talaniman

    Amazing how people can have sex, and not talk about how they feel. Talk to him, that's better than assuming and presuming and crying.
  • Nov 29, 2010, 08:22 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Yes, getting drunk, hanging out, kissing and messing around, and no thought about talking about the feelings,
    Do you just do this with anyone you are hanging with ?

    But yes, you tell him how you really feel, and talk about it.

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