Well me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and his been wanting a baby but am not sure am ready for one he really dose want one and I really want me and him to last even longer and if we do have a baby that he will help me and be loyal to me, but am scared this might ruin our relationship our when I do give him a baby he might leave I need some edvice.

How old are you and your boyfriend? Is this the same boyfriend that you dated for 3 months who broke up with you last month? Three or four months may seem like a while to you, but it really isn't long enough to be thinking about having babies together. It isn't long enough to be talking about marriage, either. Take your time to get to know him better. Don't let him talk you into something neither of you are ready for. The idea of a baby may sound fun, but you are not thinking of how much responsibility it is. Also, a baby should not be used to try to make him loyal to you. Make sure he is loyal before you make any major decisions.

How old are you two? How long have you been with him?

Am 15 and my boyfriend is 18 && well I try to talk to him about it and its just so hard to get it trew his head that we should take our time and be a longer time together and I know it's a lot of work for a baby and it will be stressing.

Oh boy. Does he realize how much trouble he can get into at 18 having sex with a 15 year old? Do your parents know about this relationship? Do they know he is pressuring you to have a baby? I think you should take this question to the legal boards, tell them your ages, and where you live. You both need to know the facts here.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-law/

That's just a start to the problems here, but that should be enough to scare you into reality. If it isn't, come back. There are other things you should be aware of.

You're 15 for god's sake. The word baby shouldn't even be in your vocabulary. Neither should sex with an 18 year old!

One word comes to mind... JAILBAIT!

Babies do not fix, strengthen or enhance a relationship. Marrige comes before babies people!

You are more likely to see your relationship suffer from the strains of having a baby than being made stronger. A baby is not the answer to building a lasting relationship. There is a very, very strong likelihood that you will find yourself raising a child on your own if you have a baby so young.

If he really cares about you, and what is best for you, he would not be encouraging you to have his baby at 15. Even physically it puts your health at risk.

He should be encouraging you to focus on getting a good education so that you can have every opportunity for the kind of future you may want to have.

You have to be the smart one and say no... and stick to it. If he leaves, or continues to try and talk you into it, than you will know that he is only thinking of himself and you should show him the door. He may seem like a nice guy to you, but a boyfriend who truly cares for you would not try and talk you into something you are not ready for. Do not let yourself get guilted into something so life altering.

Not withstanding the fact that having sex with an adult, while you are underage, should not be happening, you have quite a history of trouble with this guy- and I presume we are talking about the same boyfriend from your previous questions on AMHD.

Having a baby should be reserved for adults. And it should be reserved for adults who are married. And it should be reserved after a long relationship, that has been a committed and mature one. Both parents should be working, and until there is money in the bank, and a stable future in place to prepare for the life changing event that will cost you a fortune, you are in no position, at age 15 (you sound younger), to consider having a baby.

So, what' 'should be' and what isn't, is pretty obvious here. The best of circumstances of course, do not always happen, but the goal is somewhere between balancing what is, with what would be more realistic. What you are thinking is not realistic.

You can have a baby, with an imature male who thinks it would be a cool fashion statement, and even if you broke up with him, he 'would be there for you'. You could believe him when he says that he'll take care of you, and take care of a baby, and that this is the right thing to do.

It is not the right thing to do.

Unless you are prepared with a good education, a good job that you can provide for yourself when he dumps you (again), and a baby, and know that you can manage without help from welfare assistance, subsidized housing, donations and a food bank to make sure your basic needs, and your baby's basic needs are met, you have no business thinking about having a baby.

Nor does it make sense to have a baby to keep a boyfriend, nor does it make sense to bring a baby into this world without as much thought as you would put into which nail polish to wear Saturday night.

There are too many children having babies. There are too many children having babies, knowing that they have the choice NOT to have a baby. There are too many babies born under these circumstances, that means other people have to step in, rescue both of you, and assume the burden of yet another baby, born to an underage teenager.

Obviously you are active sexually with this bozo, and every time you have sex with him, you risk pregnancy, because birth control (if you are on it), is not 100% safe. If you get pregnant when you don't want to, you will be faced with hardship that is unimaginable to you right now. Your life will revolve around the life you carelessly brought into this world.

And he will be gone. He does not sound like the type of father who will assist with a newborns needs, which are enormous. And that is just considering this would be a healthy baby, which of course, you have no way of knowing. Can you imagine coping with a baby with special needs, or having illneesses, or being difficult to manage.

Can you even afford a box of diapers? Rent? Groceries? The light bill?

You say you 'aren't sure' and you should be VERY sure, that at your age, a baby is a really, really bad idea. And made even worse by the fact that an 18 year old is pressuring you to have one. I presume he makes a good living and can cough up the financial, emotional, and physical support? Or would he be hard pressed to come up with the coin for a box of diapers himself. Whos' going to pay for all of this- I sure don't want to.

Babies are not bargaining chips. Babies are not fashion statements. Babies are not negotiating items to keep a relationships going, or to establish a reationship, or to 'make your life complete'. You are many, many years away from being independent enough to make a decision to have a baby under your own steam, let alone making a baby with a man you shouldn't be seeing in the first place.

Please consider the needs of that person that is not yet born. You have no way of meeting these needs at this point in your life. Please don't bring another lfe into this world that other people have to support.

Dump this inappropriate relationship, reserve your sex life for when you are mature enough to handle the consequences - i.e. don't have sex at all - concentrate on getting a high school diploma, set your sights on a college education, and allow yourself a chance to grow up and prosper- on your own. To put a baby in the mix now, will forever change your life, limit your opportunities, and not allow you the time you need to grow up.

No baby deserves to be conceived on purpose, under these circumstances.

Every ones advice is spot on...

So let me be the 5th person on here to tell you that you are way too young to not only be having sex, but to have a baby.

You're just a baby yourself.

If this guy loves and cares for you, then he will take his time, and I mean really take his time with you.

Also, sweetie, I don't know where you live, but he could be arrested for engaging in sexual activities with a minor.

I just want to shed some light on you here for a moment, as I am not the only person going through the struggles of life. I am 33 with itty bittys (small kids) of my own, and have a home and a pretty decent career, AND I still find it pretty hard at times to raise these little ones. Children are expensive. Very! It only gets worse as time goes on, they need and WANT more more more. As all kids do.

Please think about the advice that you have gotten and roll with it.

A baby doesn't fix the problem or make couples closer. In your case, being a kid yourself, it will destroy you two. AND hurt this child in the long run.

Tell him to wait, or perhaps you should end it with him.

I would to very much like to know what your parents and his parents think of his little proposition.

Steph,

I think you already know the answer. You obviously don't agree with the with your boyfriend. You may only be 15yrs, but your instincts are telling you that a baby is not the answer to fixing this relationship.

There is one thing that you should know for any age. You should never and I do mean NEVER let someone who obviously doesn't have any way of proving themselves as a ROLE model influence you in ANY decision. There are a lot of people in life that have made the mistake that your boyfriend is trying to make you do, that wish they would have listened to their inner instincts and just said NO WAY.

There was a girl that I went to school with that actually got pregnant when she was 14yrs. Now the guy was 17yrs, and yes the parents allowed them to get married. She just thought they were going to live happily ever after. Well she had the baby, it was a boy. Her boyfriend, now husband never graduated from school of course neither did she, became an alcoholic, ran around on her with girls still in High school. She was stuck home never had any money, no education, was miserable. She was so unhappy and her parents wouldn't help because she had made her bed, now she had to lie in it. 3years later, it never got any better, her so called husband left her for another girl, wouldn't give her any money, because he spend everything on booze and couldn't hold a job. She ended up taking her life, and that little boy that she once thought was going to make everything all better, was raised by grandparents.

Just something to think about when he is trying to put pressure on you!! Just stand up to him and say "NO"

A 15 year old has no business having a baby. The only thing you should be thinking about is finishing HS.
This 18 year old trying to talk you into it needs to be locked up some place. It's easy for a guy to say "have my baby" All he has to do is put it there.
Leave this guy alone, his pressuring you to do this is in itself is enough to let you know he cares nothing about you and your future.
He is looking to ruin it.

You have to relize that a baby comes with A lot restrictions. You won't be able to do the things you want to do as a teen if you have a kid. Trust me I've seen all my friends go through it, its not fun! Everyone else on here is right:)

Just Too Update Everyone Am Not Goinq Out With This Guy Anymore I Took Everyone's Edvice And Realize He Wasn't Really Worth My Time Thank You Everyone For Helping It Really Did Help And He Was An ******* Sorry But It's the True :]

Good girl!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by steph13

Just Too Update Everyone Am Not Goinq Out With This Guy Anymore i Took Everyone's Edvice And Realize He Wasn't Really Worth My Time Thank You Everyone For Helping It Really Did Help And He Was An ******* Sorry But Its The True :]

---

I am so glad that you made the right choice.

Good Luck to you, and remember, we are always here to help if you need it.