I have been with my control freak girlfriend for 5 years and we have split twice before.

Its always me that goes back as I feel I can change things but 5 weeks ago I had enough as she sent me home over trivia and I said I can't take this anymore and left.

7 days later was her birthday and she was at parents for weekend and I sent a text to wish happy birthday no reply.

The following day I sent another text to say Do you really want to end a 5 year relationship over trivia? Lets meet for coffee like adults and sort this out no reply

I then sent another text a week later to say Hope u OK can we sort this out as surely after 5 years we should at least talk and tell me what you want no reply.It was my biryhday this week but she sent nothing.

She said she loves in the past but always criticises me, belittles me and is very immature and selfish. She is stubborn but all these traits are part I feel of her personality disorder.However I got used to dealing with this but admit it suppressed my emotions and I did too much for her.

I am a nice intelligent guy but whilst only 5 weeks no contact I am finding it hard to think move on or try and resurrect this so called one way relationship.

Can't believe she can simply put up the barriers but our previous splits were the same.She has mood swings as well.

Should I try to contact her which I feel would fall into her playing mindgames or agree to move on once and for all.

Finally, it was me texting to meet during the week otherwise nothing happens, she never phones me and now feels I will go back I am sure. Please advise asap as can't sleep Kevin

I've been through the same engagement. My girlfriend and I fight constantly and has the same symptoms as yours. Depending on the situation, you should you send her one last message and leave it at that. If you do, tell her you love her and that you miss her. Try stopping by her house and see her but not in a stalker way just be as friendly and calm as you can. If she lets you in, slowly approach her and give her a hug and whisper in her ear how you feel about it. My girlfriend's friends tell me that she does what she does only to see how far I will go in trying to get back with her. Hopefully yours is the same way and wants to see how much you care for her. In the mean time, I would think about all the things you fight about and change. And trust me it will take time. After 5 breakups she and I finally, but slowly changed. Most girl like ours want to be in control because they probably fear that guys will walk all ever them and treat them bad. Communication is one of many things that improve relationships

Thanks for that but I know if I go to her house it will loook needy and desperate. You are right about her pushing me away to see how far I will go. We don't actually fight but she seeks imperfection in everybody and loves mindgames even after 5 years

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Originally Posted by fulham1234

1) my control freak girlfriend for 5 years
2) we have split twice before
3) she sent me home over trivia
4) I sent a text to wish her happy birthday no reply.
5) following day sent another text to... sort this out no reply
6) sent another text a week later to say Hope u OK can we sort this out... tell me what you want no reply.
7) It was my birthday this week but she sent nothing.
8) she always criticises me
9) she belittles me
10) She is very immature and selfish.
11) She is stubborn.

I am finding it hard to think move on or try and resurrect this so called one way relationship.

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WHY are you trying to resurrect this relationship? What possible benefit is there to you? Um, by the way, there IS NO relationship!!

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Should I try to contact her

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If you haven't been contacting her all this time, what have you been doing?!

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her playing mindgames

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SHE'S not playing mind games with you. YOU are playing mind games with yourself.

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12) it was me texting to meet during the week otherwise nothing happens, she never phones me

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now feels I will go back I am sure

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WHY?? Stop the bus!

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Please advise asap as can't sleep Kevin

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STOP! Leave her alone. Go No Contact. Now.

Mine is the same way, but she even said herself that she wanted me to go to her and hug her. Once she accepts you that's when you put your foot down and talk about things but in a calm way. And listen to what she has to say without getting upset.

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I have been split with my ex for 3 months and she dumped me. Been together 5 years and really gutted. I have sent texts to meet for drink reply too busy.

Then asked to go drink over christmas no reply . Then I said be nice to meet for drink and clear the air as she says to her sister really hates me. I sent flowers to her sister on her 40th birthday which I thought was a nice thing to do. Really jealous and a control freak.

I have always been the one to chase when we have broken up 3 TIMES BEFORE but this time she has told sister def over for good. This Saturday was her sisters 40th party. Sister posted on Facebook that the band leader age 25 has asked Hannah my ex 39 out for drink and that really hurt.

I unfortunately still have feelings for her and she knows how to keep me dangling whilst she dates other guys.

The point is is it too late to send a letter agreeing with breakup,say I'm moving on etc etc as she may simply laugh at this but have heard this sometimes makes them think I am not waiting forever. Also see her almost daily in village and very awkward. Thanks for any help PS She never met to say why we broke up and really still do not know why despite asking to meet

Unfortunately it doesn't matter why she broke up, just that she did. She has moved on with her life and so do you. Stop all contact and that includes Facebook!!

Start going out with friends and get to meeting other people. Don't go to places she will be. If by chance to do seem to be in same place, just act polite but NOT interested in what she is doing or with whom.

You are broke up yet you allow her to still be in control!! She cannot dangle you unless you give her the means to do so. If you see in village daily, then go a different way, even if its out of your way or go a different time, do what ever YOU need to do. Take care

Let it go, and disappear from her life. Make no further efforts for her whatsoever, I mean none at all.

You're a big boy, act like you don't care at all. Don't even look her way, just go about your own life, and enjoy it, even if you have to fake it, until you make it.