Ok, I have a coworker, I was interested in, he approached me through email and asked me out on a date; I accepted with conditions that it had to remain between us. The date went well. Things became a bit heated and he wanted to go to his place. The voyerism came out and I believe it sooked him. At the end he told me he was a chronic worrier. I didn't really understand it; but the next day he thought we should just be friends. That same night he texted and eventually we spoke; things got a bit heated over the phone. Later that night, I asked to see him; he clammed up and said coming over wasn't best because I knew what would happen. He continued to text, and we were cordial at the office. Recently, I tried to communicate with him and he said he thought it was best to keep things work related between us. It's been two weeks. Unfortunately, I really like him and find it difficult to just want to have a working relationship. However, I want to know the signs if he still likes me. We both avoid eye contact and don't have to interact much at work. How do I know for sure that he is still interested but scared for anyone to know? And how can I get him comfortable enough to move past us just being coworkers? He dated at his previous job and said because his girlfriend told everyone everything, their relationship was office knowledge. I can't seem to get him outside of the office? Should I text him? Or should I wait until our office party and approach the subject then?

The signs are obvious, and you got used. I am reading between the lines here and it appears he doesn't want to pursue any kind of relationship with you. Bad idea it was to sleep with him on the first date, let alone dating and working together. I hope he keeps his mouth shut in the office, for your sake.

Don't approach him at all, anytime.

Tick

He might have been interested at first, but it seems like his feelings changes for whatever reason.

If he really liked you, you wouldn't find it so difficult to get a hold of him. Accept the truth and move on. There's a reason why office romance can complicate things.

Especially in your case, when you still have interest in him, every time you see him at work, you're going to try to interpret the signs to see if he's still interested.

But again, if he really was interested, it wouldn't be so difficult to interpret. You're just hanging on to false hope.

No, I did not go back to his place and we did not sleep together; we made out. The next day he texted me saying he was worried, etc. At that point I was more sympathetic and understanding. I notice he was different and I asked if he was worried.

I understand your point. My issue is the tension at work. Before we spoke and went about our day, now we both avoid the other and it's ridiculous. Those are the signs I am referring to. Is it because he's still attracted or bcus he is just weird.

I literally avoid any interaction with him in the office and vice versa. If I have to, then it's professional and through email. I just feel it's ridiculous behavior for adults but I am uncomfortable knowing we crossed a line we can't return from?

Okay, what the heck does that mean, 'we didn't sleep together, we made out', so I am assuming you two were intimate, right ? I mean, your screen name is 'karmasutra', suggestive, none theless.

Yes, you did cross a line you can't return from. He probably knows that too, and that's why he is acting the way he does.

Tick

When responding, please don't use the comments feature. It limits how we can respond to you. Just go for 'reply'.

Do you really like him or is it just infatuation? Sometimes a crush/infatuation seems overwhelmly powerful. The good news is that as quickly as they surface they typically fade if you remain out of touch. It's tempting to try and figure out if he still likes you but I'd just drop it. He has clearly indicated that he wants space and you must adhere to those boundaries. To move on avoid coming into contact with him. That's the only way. If you do inadvertently bump into him be cordial but do not engage in conversation. Keep in mind that you will get over this guy just like you have other guys. Nothing is permanent and with time AND distance this situation will be a thing of the past.

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Originally Posted by karma_sutra_4u

Ok, I have a coworker, I was interested in, he approached me thru email and asked me out on a date; I accepted with conditions that it had to remain between us. The date went well. Things became a bit heated and he wanted to go to his place. The voyerism came out and I believe it sooked him. At the end he told me he was a a chronic worrier. I didn't really understand it; but the next day he thought we should just be friends. That same night he texted and eventually we spoke; things got a bit heated over the phone. Later that night, I asked to see him; he clammed up and said coming over wasn't best because I knew what would happen. He continued to text, and we were cordial at the office. Recently, I tried to communicate with him and he said he thought it was best to keep things work related between us. It's been two weeks. Unfortunately, I really like him and find it difficult to just want to have a working relationship. However, I want to know the signs if he still likes me. We both avoid eye contact and don't have to interact much at work. How do I know for sure that he is still interested but scared for anyone to know? And how can I get him comfortable enough to move past us just being coworkers? He dated at his previous job and said because his girlfriend told everyone everything, their relationship was office knowledge. I can't seem to get him outside of the office? Should I text him? Or should I wait until our office party and approach the subject then?

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Honestly, I would just leave it alone and go about your business, work business that is.

Does it really matter why or what has changed his mind? Regardless, he doesn't want to date, or speak to you...

It's not like you two were a hot item for months or even years and you are trying to get to the bottom of this. No, you went on one date, exchanged a few texts and emails. That's it.

So now I think that you should hold your head up high and mind your business and let it go...

The awkward tension is the exact result of office romance.

Furthermore, it's only awkward if you let it be. Give it some time to cool off, before you try to do something. Just keep things professional with. Do you really interact with every single person in the office? Just treat him like all the other people that you haven't interacted with.

I wouldn't approach him for anything more then business, but I also wouldn't avoid him at work, if you run into him, just say "hi" and move on. I would act like he isn't worth your time or effort.

Its hard when you work with someone and find that you REALLY like them, but just like you should never bring your home problems to work, neither should you create bigger problems by dating co-workers.