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-   -   Over thinking it? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=523253)

  • Nov 5, 2010, 06:41 PM
    VRon1
    Over thinking it?
    I'm in college and learning to be on my own. I'n not accustomed to actually being physically alone when I do things. Like in between classes I may not have time to call some one up or even plan a lunch date due to schedules like I did in high school.

    I feel awkward when I go off to do something because I'll be alone. And before you ask, yes, I am making friends. I just can't deal with all of this and keep my grades up.

    So, the question is, is this normal?
  • Nov 7, 2010, 09:28 AM
    DoulaLC

    Yes, it is very normal. Being on your own socially, for much of the time, takes getting adjusted to. College is very different from high school in that regard. Unless you tend to have some of the same people in the courses you are taking, you simply don't have the opportunity to meet up as much.
    High school usually has a very social atmosphere... in college, more people are doing their own thing.

    Try setting up times to get together with friends ahead of time. Plan get togethers on the week-ends, or one or two nights during the week if possible.

    When you are on your own, find things you enjoy to keep yourself occupied. Have a book handy to read while you are out having lunch... it helps not to feel so awkward when you are sitting by yourself. If you have a laptop, catch up with friends and family by sending e-mails while on a break. Head to the university library and get in some extra study time. It can help sometimes to have a set time you set aside for studying and working on papers each day... otherwise it can be easy to put it off. See what kinds of student activities are available to get involved in... will give you a chance to meet more people with like interests too. Grab a bottle of water and play tourist where you are going to school. Find what sort of things are available in the area to go see. If you can walk to some of them, all the better.
  • Nov 7, 2010, 09:56 AM
    Wondergirl

    What I did in grad school was form small study groups (or join already established ones) for my various classes. We usually met in an alcove or at a table in the student union (near the roaring fireplace for atmosphere :)). Or like Doula suggested, join organizations that interest you. In college, I had joined the drama society and got to be the page in a production of Antigone, was a flower in a children's play, and later helped with putting on players' makeup. A language club might interest you, or perhaps there is a club that chooses, shows, and discusses movies/documentaries/foreign films on weekends (and provides popcorn and soda). It's nice to be alone and to get things done, like Doula said, but it's also broadening to connect with others.

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