Hi, I have bin with my guy for about 6 months now. Basically he believes that we should spend EVERY free minute we have free together. We live together and are honestly not apart other than when he goes to work during the day. I am feeling strangled by how he is being. He feels that we must be doing something together when he gets home such as... watch TV, sit and talk, shower together and most of all I must go to bed when he does or he can't sleep right... and then blames me for him being so tired. I left my ex fiancé about 9 months and we do still talk friendly and I am still close to his family and talk to them on a regular basis. He hates this, he tells me that I can't talk to them because I left that life style behind. I can understand not wanting me to talk to my ex but his family... makes not sense! Whenever we go out to the mall or grocery store he MUST hold my hand and if I pull away he basically whines and makes me feel like I'm doing something cruel to him. I have a close friend that I met over xbox live and we have bin talking for a bit over a year and he HATES him, constantly makes fun of him when I'm talking to him, which puts me in a bad position cause I tell him to stop and he says that I'm choosing my friend over him! I don't know what to do, he tells me that I have all day to be by myself and that I should want to spend my time with him and only him on weeknights and weekends. I give up, when I mention that he is being too clingy or possessive he basically starts crying or starts yelling and if I ignore him to try and not fight he will shut off what I am watching or remove the HDMI cord from my TV! Or takes away my phone! Ugh! Help please, its like dealing with a child.

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Originally Posted by RedBeauty87

. . . and if I ignore him to try and not fight he will shut off what I am watching or remove the HDMI cord from my tv! Or takes away my phone! Ugh! Help please, its like dealing with a child.

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Lol he sounds like a mom.

Definitely move out, no question about it.

What's keeping you in this relationship?

This is crazy. Why are you still with this clown?
This is a controlling and abusive relationship. I wouldn't be surprised if it does not become physically abusive.

Well, we just moved to a different province together and just signed a 1 year lease together. I am not working but am on EI and start school full time in Jan. So as bad as it sounds... if I leave him I have no where to go but back to the province I'm from which screws me for my school because I have it fully funded without having to pay a bit of it back here plus they pay for my living expenses but only pay $830 a month. I have bin waiting to go to school for the past two years and I finally am in an area and predicament where I can. :) Love my life right now! << Sarcasm >> I am just trying to find a way to get him to understand that he needs to stop! He doesn't really see any of this wrong...

You are not gong to get him to see anything.
Can you get a job, get a roommate? Staying with this guy is trouble.
How is he going to be when you see other guys when you start school?

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Originally Posted by RedBeauty87

if I leave him I have no where to go but back to the province I'm from which screws me for my school because I have it fully funded without having to pay a bit of it back here plus they pay for my living expenses but only pay $830 a month.

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Okay.. . So why not get your own pad, in that same province, where the rent is $830 or less?

A full-ride plus a monthly stipend of that amount is a very good deal, you have no reason to live with this guy other than the fact your name is on the lease. But, that might be solvable if you talk to the landlord, he may let you break it.

Gimme a sec I'm no good at math.

1. Broke up with ex-fiance 9 months ago
2. Been with this clown for 6 months
3. You two already live together.

Hmmmm... duhhhh.

The lowest rent I can find is $340 with no furniture. All the furniture is his. And the funding I am receiving has stipulations I can not fail a class or they will take the funding back and I have to pay back the money they already gave me. (My classes that they paid for which are $450 each and my books and so on... ) Grrr! I hate this stuff!

See if you can get yourself a roommate, maybe a fellow student.
For future reference, don't jump into another relationship right after one ends.
One's thinking is rarely at it's best then.

This does not sound like a good relationship. He is controlling and manipulative. I doubt you will be able to change that, so a big priority should be to leave the relationship. Chances are he'll only get worse, especially if he thinks you are stuck in the relationship.

$340 rent seems low. You might be able to rent furniture cheaply, especially if you just go for the basics. You can also shop used furniture - flea markets or garage sales, for example. Could you possibly get a small loan from your parents or a friend to help if you can't afford it on your own? Could you find a job, even if it's just through the holiday season, so you have some extra money? Have you tried to work out a budget to see what you can afford? Can you look into getting a roommate?

Those are several options, and I'm sure there are more. I don't think staying in the relationship is an option. I'm also wondering how long your schooling will last. Can you transfer to a different school and continue your education after the paid-for semester is over?

Stop whinnying and complaining about him. He is who he is and will make your life more miserable if you stay. That can't be a happy thought so do something about getting on your own and doing you thing, because if you need him to be happy or get what you want, then its you who are crazy.

You need a better plan, or just wallow in your own... S(stinky stuff)T!!

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Originally Posted by RedBeauty87

The lowest rent I can find is $340 with no furniture.

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And $830 - $340 = $490.. . Bang, there's your furniture money. Use Craigslist if you have to. Utilities won't cost jack—they might even be included in the rent—considering you're going to spend most of your time in class.

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Originally Posted by RedBeauty87

And the funding I am receiving has stipulations I can not fail a class or they will take the funding back and I have to pay back the money they already gave me. (My classes that they paid for which are $450 each and my books and so on...) Grrr! I hate this stuff!

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You don't even have to pay for books? That's a good $500 or so saved per semester.

I'm sorry, but you're making a bunch of petty excuses when you have loads of opportunity staring you in the face. You earned this scholarship.. . So f***in use it!

Here's something to think about; if you stay with this clown, you are running the risk of failing a course and losing it all when, instead of studying, you have to watch TV with him, listen to him whine, go to bed when he wants you to and so on and so on. You're complaining now and you haven't even started school full-time yet, how are you going to juggle both?

Play it smart. Move out. Ditch this pansy.