I was friends with this guy for a year, we were friends with benefits, we had our differences but at some points we were inseparable. Recently we had an argument, he hung up on me. I called him back a bit later and started telling him that I was going to need my space for the next month to get over him. He didn't listen to what I was going to say and instead assumed and said "goodbye" (in a final, we're not friends anymore voice). I want to eventually contact him again, but maybe its not worth it? Its been about two weeks and I haven't heard from him yet. Half of me is saying "remove him, you'll never be friends again" but the other part of me is clinging to the hope that he cared about me as a friend just enough to want to eventually make up and talk again. I'm torn... I still have his phone number. Should I remove all proof that he was ever in my life?

Is there any reason you want to continue being his friend? If you were to meet him for the first time today, and know what he is like, would you start up a friendship with him? In the scheme of things, would it really make a difference to you if you didn't remain friends?

If it bothers you to see anything he posts on Facebook, remove him (he can always contact you if he really wants to). If it doesn't, and you want to leave the door open for a possible reconciliation, leave him on... it doesn't mean you have to respond to anything he writes.

Sometimes friends go through a rough patch and sort things out... sometimes friendships run their course and end. You'll have to decide which one you think this might be.

Regarding the last line: that's the biggest issue I have with it, he's a hard character to read. He never said "this is the end of our friendship" but unlike most guys he's great with subtlety. And it doesn't help that he was my first everything.
Regarding the first line: there are reasons that I want to keep being his friend, he has great advice, he's funny, smart, quirky, and he has a good sense of reality and tact. On the downside he can be sexist, and instead of talking about stuff (I know, girlie sentence... ) he takes it in, and only months later will I find out he was upset about this, that or the other. I would start up a friendship with him if it was restarted today, knowing all I know now. And I'm not sure if it would make a difference, maybe it would maybe it wouldn't, would have depended upon what the future held.
The reason I asked was because I did find something on my "news feed" regarding him and it brought me to tears, I hid all his news feed things, which should help, but at the same time, if I de-friend him now, and, say, a month later he wants to get a hold of me again, he would see that I de friended him and take that as an offense. I can't win I guess.

I can relate, except for me, we aren't just "friends". We are going throug a rough patch, I actually totally deleted my fb account because I didn't want the curiosity/hurt, etc. of what he could post to get a "dig in". We have some of the same friends so I'd see it regardless (also I'm too busy to FB so super... :(

But since, you are just friends with this person, I would just monitor it. If it makes you upset, 'super sad", or curious (ie. jealous) when he post's certain things...then I def would delete him. It already takes enuff time to get over friendships/relationships. It just keeps opening the would if you do that. The internet is great..but at the same time it can be so harmful/hurtful. You can leave the door open to him if wants to reconcile w/o facebook. He can do it the "old timer" way to contact you. Good luck.

It might be best to give him the space he seems to want.

Take him off your friends list. It will keep you from coming across anything that may upset you.

If he does want to get back in touch, and questions why you took him off, just tell him the truth. You thought he wanted space, it hurt your feelings to see something's that were posted on the news feed, and you knew he could still contact you if he wanted to get back in touch to sort things out.

I get what your saying... you can't win. I agree. If you keep him as a fb friend, then you get to see all his posts, pictures, etc, and deal with all of that, but if you drop him, he might take offense & be like "no she didn't!!!" LOL. And then potentially ruin the friendship for good. In your situation, I would keep him as a FB friend & see how it goes. If it makes you upset... then see you & delete~

I can totally relate to your issue. My girlfriend and I just ended a 3.5 year relationship and I find myself checking her profile a few times everyday. I tell myself not to do it and nothing good is going to come from seeing her profile (because I might see something that will totally upset me). I think it is probably best to either hide their news feeds so that you don't have to see the updates or just delete him. I know how hard it is as I'm struggling with the same thing now. I hope to get the strength to just hit delete so that I can move on. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Delete him, and take your time to get over this mess. If he wants to be friends he knows how to find you, so focus on YOU, and what's best for YOU, and if it takes more than a month, so what, take whatever you need for yourself. You're the one hurting, and you are the only one who can stop hurting. That's what important, not a friendship that may have turned too sour to preserve, so don't make it a priority over your own well being.

When you are healthy, happy, and whole again, so will your friendships, and relationships be. That's the goal, not figuring out what to do about a person who isn't happy with you right now. Its called dignity, and self respect.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.



Delete him from you page. Why are you worried about his taking your preserving your sanity as an offense? He sounds rather childish.
Take care of you, leave him to himself.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by arkarian101

. . . unlike most guys he's great with subtlety.

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Wrong. Unlike most boyfriends.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by arkarian101

I would start up a friendship with him if it was restarted today, knowing all i know now. And im not sure if it would make a difference, maybe it would maybe it wouldn't. . .

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It wouldn't.

You got emotionally involved in something that was strictly physical. It happens. Safest bet is to delete him and move on.