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-   -   Election day humor (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=522242)

  • Nov 2, 2010, 07:25 AM
    J_9
    Election day humor
    What party do you belong to?

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?

    THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

    Democrat's Answer :

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think?

    What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    Redneck's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! BANG! BANG !

    Click... (Sounds of reloading)

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG!

    Click

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydrashocks?

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one? '

    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist
  • Nov 2, 2010, 07:42 AM
    NeedKarma
    I didn't understand any of the gun talk.
  • Nov 2, 2010, 07:43 AM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NeedKarma View Post
    I didn't understand any of the gun talk.

    Of course you didn't. You're Canadian!

    Sorry, had to slip that in. :p
  • Nov 2, 2010, 11:16 AM
    CaptainRich

    I thought it was outstanding!
  • Nov 2, 2010, 05:40 PM
    Just Dahlia

    I thought it was funny:D
  • Nov 2, 2010, 09:40 PM
    Stringer

    I too thought that was very funny J.
  • Nov 4, 2010, 11:33 PM
    magprob
    I didn't read it cause I'm tired of hearing people complain. If you voted, you have no right to complain. After all, you voted for it. If you didn't vote, complain all you like. After all, you didn't vote for this BullS#@t.
    Now what was the question? Never mind, I got to go. That dang bear is back throwing my trash cans around.
  • Nov 5, 2010, 05:33 AM
    Just_Another_Lemming

    LOL! I really liked it. Thanks for the laugh J!
  • Nov 8, 2010, 06:53 PM
    twinkiedooter

    Great Joke! Loved it. I guess I'm a redneck... And I ain't gittin it stuffed neither...

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