I have been with my boyfriend now for a while and a first everything was great we had an amazing relationship he made me feel like I was an angle... well that lasted for the first couple of WEEKS.. before we became official we used to meet up and just go out together.. he used to hop over to my side of the car and we would hug and kiss.. he once said to me 'ohhh stop hugging me like this your making me proper like you', this gave me the happiest feeling ever so I would hug him even more... When I started to doubt his feeling about me is when he suggested to me dying my hair blonde, with him being the only person I wanted to impress I attempted to get my georgous red hair blonde... the bleach killed my hair and I had to have it cut really short. When I asked him 'do you like it' he said to me ' I doesn't suit you' I felt really horrible and fort to myself I've tried to impress him and messed it up.. Anyway as time goes on he starts to pay less and less attention, he never comes to hug me I could sit there for hours and he wouldn't ask me if I'm OK, I spend all my time trying to impress him and he must have told me 'you look nice' about 7 time in our whole relationship and that is when I cake myself in make-up.. perhaps he doesn't like what is under my make up..
Coming to think of it there was one day when I was really ill but I still went to see him and as all girls know when your ill you can't be bothered to do yourself up so I put some comfortable clothes on and a bit of mascara, I went to get in his car and he said 'Errrr you look a rite dog, your suppost to make an effort when you come and see me' My heart felt like it weighed a tone and I was just holding the tears back. I just said 'thanks' is that *****y voice like it hadn't upset me.
Another thing I do for him is massarge him ALL the time full body massarges and he loves them but I could be there with the worst ack ache ever and he wouldn't even offer to rub my back but if I ask for a massarge he will say naaa man that the girls job..
I tell him he is beautiful all the time and I give him pet names to show abit of cuteness and love, he never says to me that I'm pretty or anything so one day I asked him what do you think about my looks? He said your good looking.. I said good looking is that it, he said no your pretty... I said what about sexy? He said no just pretty I thought fair enough but the another day he told me that he thought I was pretty but nothing special... Why the hell would you be with somebody if you thought they were nothing special??
We also have a great time in the bedroom but after intermacy I like to lay with him a cuddle him but he will hold me for 2 minutes and lets go, also walking in public I went to grab hhis hand he help it for about1 min and let go I said to him hold my hand baby, then he told me 'im not the holding hand type' but he always holds my hand in the car so is he embarrassed of me?

I don't really have the time to keep writing but please somebody help me and explain what I should do and what's going on in his mind... thank you

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Originally Posted by confusedburke..

I have been with my boyfriend now for a while and a first everything was great we had an amazing relationship he made me feel like i was an angle... well that lasted for the first couple of WEEKS.. before we became official we used to meet up and just go out together.. he used to hop over to my side of the car and we would hug and kiss.. he once said to me 'ohhh stop hugging me like this ur making me proper like you', this gave me the happiest feeling ever so i would hug him even more... When i started to doubt his feeling about me is when he suggested to me dying my hair blonde, with him being the only person i wanted to impress i attempted to get my georgous red hair blonde... the bleach killed my hair and i had to have it cut really short. When i asked him 'do you like it' he said to me ' i doesn't suit you' I felt really horrible and fort to my self iv tried to impress him and messed it up.. Anyway as time goes on he starts to pay less and less attention, he never comes to hug me i could sit there for hours and he wouldn't ask me if im ok, i spend all my time trying to impress him and he must have told me 'you look nice' about 7 time in our whole relationship and that is when i cake myself in make-up.. perhaps he doesnt like what is under my make up..
Coming to think of it there was one day when i was really ill but i still went to see him and as all girls know when ur ill you can't be bothered to do youself up so i put some comfortable clothes on and a bit of mascara, i went to get in his car and he said 'Errrr you look a rite dog, your suppost to make an effort when you come and see me' My heart felt like it weighed a tone and i was just holding the tears back. i just said 'thanks' is that *****y voice like it hadnt upset me.
Another thing i do for him is massarge him ALL the time full body massarges and he loves them but i could be there with the worst ack ache ever and he wouldnt even offer to rub my back but if i ask for a massarge he will say naaa man that the girls job..
I tell him he is beautiful all the time and i give him pet names to show abit of cuteness and love, he never says to me that im pretty or anything so one day i asked him what do you think about my looks? he said ur good looking.. i said good looking is that it, he said no your pretty... i said what about sexy? he said no just pretty i thought fair enough but the another day he told me that he thought i was pretty but nothing special.... Why the hell would you be with somebody if you thought they were nothing special???
We also have a great time in the bedroom but after intermacy i like to lay with him a cuddle him but he will hold me for 2 mins and lets go, also walking in public i went to grab hhis hand he help it for about1 min and let go i said to him hold my hand baby, then he told me 'im not the holding hand type' but he always holds my hand in the car so is he embarrased of me?

I dont really have the time to keep writing but please somebody help me and explain what i should do and whats going on in his mind... thankyou

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You're not going to like what I have to say, but here goes...

This person sounds like a self centered jerk. Why do you put up with that? Do you think that little of yourself to endure such crap from him?

You shouldn't have to change yourself for someone. (meaning your hair color, etc... ) He should care about you for YOU, not your hair, clothing, makeup, etc...

YOU sound like a catch to me, just from what you are describing. There are men who I am sure would want you, you just don't know it.

Get rid of this boy and find yourself a man.

Remember, be yourself and don't change for ANYBODY!

Now here is a fine example of a guy that you Don't want to be involved with.

I understand going to 'certain' lengths to impress your man, hair, makeup and dressing up to look spectacular when you go out.. but to be treated like a piece of cr@p. Please. What I'd give to have gorgeous red hair. Hell I wouldn't of dyed it for anyone.

You don't need his affirmation that you're beautiful, sorry let me rephrase you don't need Anyone's affirmation on how beautiful or lovely you are. You are. Period.

You need to think of this entirely in a different light. If this is something you want, then let him come to you. Stop the drooling and lovey dovey stuff, because its not working and making you look desperate. Time to start walking that high road and make him do the begging, lovey dovey's and grovelling for YOUR acceptance.

Oh.. and if he wants a massage.. tell him to go roll in a patch of grass outside where the 'real dogs' roll.

I like being the way my boyfriend likes. I like compliments and the attention. I think every woman does. But you need to have limits. He sounds so shallow it's disgusting. Don't you ever think that you deserve better than this?(Because if you don't, you have a few things to discover, like self-esteem... )

Don't blame a dog for being a dog, blame yourself for not taking time to see he had fleas.

Now call a dogcatcher. Problem solved.

He is treating you like rubbish. And because you do so much for him and tell him how great he is all the time, he doesn't have to make any effort whatsoever - he knows you adore him and he knows that, no matter how he treats you, you will always be there.

Well, don't be there any more because you are worth something far better than this.

Grow your beautiful red hair back and go and find a man who appreciates you just the way you are.

Take iit from a guy who used to treat my girlfriend like she was some girl where I thought she would never leave me over some selfish things I did.. I never really showed my love for her because of my eggo and yea I'm a shy guy and such... but one day, she decided to go on a break... and I just broke out in tears and thought it was over and all that, but it turned out all she wanted was to see how much I care about her, you never know what you really have until its gone, so try what my girlfriend did, tell him you want to go on a break, and if he's like I think he is from your story he will be that guy you fell in love with in the first place and youl see all his emotions come out.. if he's taking it seriously

Why are you putting up with this guy... he seems to be treating you like crap and not showing you the affection you want. To me he sounds like a self centered arrogant prick who only wants one thing... to get in your pants.

This is one of those situations where I can't understand girls, and I'm not trying to exemplify you in anyway or put you down. But I always try and be a decent guy, self respecting towards the girls I'm with, take them out, hold their hand, basically do all the sweet and caring things you described and did just that with my last girlfriend. Loved her unconditionally worked my life goals to include her, not give up my goals, but make her apart of my future. And in the end when I took an internship to completely better that future and a land a well paying job later on, she gives up on our relationship and is now with some guy who I'm told treats her like crap.

So I'm curious why you've chosen to stay with this guy if he really is no good to you or for you? Such as why did my girlfriend leave what all my friends and some of hers say was a great relationship for someone who only has one goal and once he's fulfilled that will probably leave her high and dry? It breaks my heart and I really don't understand it.

My advice for you is to get out of this relationship, you shouldn't change yourself ever for anyone. I'm sorry to hear about your hair I hope eventually you get your natural beauty back and not make that mistake again trying to change yourself for someone. You deserve someone who loves you exactly the way you are and you will find that person.