I have been told that I am soon to be a father. The mother stated that I will be signing paperwork just like her sons father did and pay her 17%. I have a stable job,own my own house,and would like to know what steps I need to take to get at least joint custody. I know that the laws are unfair and favor women to get the child,but Im wondering what steps I can take so I can be a part of my child's life. I know that she can say that she has more experience with children since she already has a son, but I come from a large family and with many nieces and nephews so Im not at all in the dark on raising kids. I've signed up for a Boot camp for new dads and Baby care basics classes that the hospital provides. Is there anything else that might help me? Also, just so that Im certain I do plan to have the DNA test. Any advice when Im up at the hospital when the child is born, I don't want to sign anything that will hurt me in getting 50/50 custody. Is it nessessary for me to sign the birth certificate or should I now sign anything until the court decides? Any help would be greatly appreciated

1) don't sign anything until after court ordered DNA.

2) don't expect joint custody off the top. It may or may not happen no matter what you do.

3) if they won't allow joint at this time make sure it is in writing when that time will be.

Thanks, so aside from me requesting a DNA test the court will order another one?

The court ordered one is the only one the courts will look at. They reject most others as "home" tests.

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Originally Posted by Wis_father

... The mother stated that I will be signing paperwork just like her sons father did and pay her 17%. ...

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She sounds like a "professional". And I don't mean this in any complementary sense.

As others have said, don't sign it, or anything else. Consult an attorney. Now.

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Originally Posted by Wis_father

I have been told that I am soon to be a father. The mother stated that I will be signing paperwork just like her sons father did and pay her 17%. I have a stable job,own my own house,and would like to know what steps I need to take to get at least joint custody. I know that the laws are unfair and favor women to get the child,but Im wondering what steps I can take so I can be a part of my childs life. I know that she can say that she has more experience with children since she already has a son, but I come from a large family and with many nieces and nephews so Im not at all in the dark on raising kids. I've signed up for a Boot camp for new dads and Baby care basics classes that the hospital provides. Is there anything else that might help me? Also, just so that Im certain I do plan to have the DNA test. Any advice when Im up at the hospital when the child is born, I dont want to sign anything that will hurt me in getting 50/50 custody. Is it nessessary for me to sign the birth certificate or should I now sign anything until the court decides? Any help would be greatly appreciated

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This is a double-edged sword.

As you have already been advised, do not sign anything until a DNA test has been done. Signing a paternity acknowledgment means you forfeit your right to contest paternity later on. Signing the birth certificate now will not "ensure" you anything except for paying child support that is potentially not yours.

Here's the double-edged sword part: if you do not acknowledge paternity and she leaves the state, you're going to have a heck of a time trying to locate a child that could very well be yours.

If you truly believe that this child is yours, file a case at your county courthouse immediately in order to establish paternity. Once paternity is established, request joint custody and shared placement(Wisconsin refers to "physical custody" as "placement") of your child.

On a personal note: I'm in Wisconsin as well and I have to agree, mothers do tend to get the "easy" deals. Even so, this past year my husband filed and won primary placement of his two children after they had lived primarily with his ex for 4+ years. It may not seem like it but the courts ultimately rule what is in the child(ren)'s best interests - you just have to prove that's what you're actually fighting for.