I'm 35,, single now,, met a guy off the net and we he had told me that he had been split with his ex for 2 yrs,, they had been together for 12 and have kids,, one step one his own. He was here over the weeknd,, knew something wasn't quite right about things,, but he gave no impression of him wanting to go back to his ex,, crikey id even asked him and he says no,, lie obviously,, anyway,, since I found out he has got back with the ex,, and I had to find out from his mum and not him, he has cut all ties, no number, no nothing now, his ex has made him change his number, its really hurt me, for one that I had asked and he couldn't be honest with me, then for two the way he's just cut the contact and gone. He still has things here,, and his mum messages me saying things,, and trying to lighten my upset which obviously isn't working, I know id only been with him for nearly 3months,, but we got on sooooo well,, he said he loved me,, forever, I may sound nieve but I'm not. I was just bowled over by him, thing is the mum says he has gone back for the kids,, does this really work going back for kids,, I know he and his ex have history,, but I need to know that everything wasn't just a whole fat lie,, and that I was just his go between,, I mean his messages of love was genuine,, the words seemed genuine, I know I shouldn't wait but I do I give him a sense of time to realise he has made a mistake, or move on completely,, at the mo its only been a week,, its killed me not seeing him, and hurt me that he could think so less of me not to contact me and at least be sorry, but nothing,, I mean playing happy families with his ex will not last forever as he told me he didn't love her,, and no longer attracted to her,, do people just go back for false of habit or what? I don't want to rush out and meet someone straight away as id feel as if I'm the one what's cheated,, as I do wholeheartedly love the guy, but I do wonder too if he misses me when he's sat with her the way I do him now,, I just don't know what to think of anything right now and just searching for a few answers as to what to do,, I mean he has things here at my home,, if he knew he was getting back with her why didn't he take them.. I know she has used the kids as a sad card,, getting them to work on his emotions, and I know he loves them a lot,, as a parent myself I realise how hard it is,, but since found out also that he hadn't been broke up as long as he told me,, hed lied,, why I don't know,, thing is too,, he lived 130miles away from me,, so just saw him at weekends so I'm only taking his word that he wasn't in contact with her throughout working onit,, which then makes me look the joke,, grrrr,, but even after the hurt he's caused I love him,, dearly, and this no contact thing has drove me mad,, sappose it's a good thing but I know that it will be destroying him too,, and eating away whilst going back there,, I have a feeling he is going to regret what he's done but what do I also do in the meantime. Wait.. xx

Ok firstly and foremost it look like rain throughout your whole post,, its,, a,, little,, off,, putting.

A history with an ex that involves kids is always going to be complicated. He's always going to have significant (obvious) ties to her for life or at least until the child is of adult age.

3 months is a pinch. Far too early to be so involved you've had no time for the relationship to mature. He loved you for the time he had with you. I sorely doubt he had any lengthy ideals about your future together.

Best bet, put your glad rags on and start enjoying your singledom. Don't dwell over him any longer than necessary. To be brutally honest I doubt it is eating him up or destroying him. 12 years with an ex and a child.. you'll be nothing but a fleeting memory or a reminder of things he's left there. I wouldn't sit around waiting for him.

Good luck.

He's returned to the ex, so you need to accept the reality of the situation and move on. You don't need any response from him!

Have you ever considered that he may actually love the ex? After all they had a 12 year history.

Don't contact him or his mom. Just move on and forget about your brief romance.

You wait for no one, especially a guy who's words were sweet, but actions tell a different story. As you said you were to caught up in the romance to see anything but the romance, but now you know what the reality is, he lied, and led you on for his own comfort, and maybe to make her jealous, but for whatever reasons he had, where is he now? Where are YOU now?

That's the reality you have to deal with, and make sure from this point on take a lot deeper look who you give your heart to. He didn't deserve it, nor will he ever after the crap he has pulled.

Heal, and do better.

I am so sorry, but he's gone back to his ex, for whatever reason, and he's now moving forward in his life with his ex and the two children. Stop trying to work out why he has done this because sometimes there is no obvious reason.

Remember the three months you had with him and treasure them, but also remember that now you have to move forward.

They key is distraction. Distract yourself from thinking about him by keeping busy, seeing friends and family. Stop all contact with his mum - no matter how well-meaning and kind she is being, the information she gives you is only giving you false hope. Go back on the internet and meet other men - there are hundreds of genuine men out there doing internet dating and, like you, they are looking for that special someone and you never know who you might meet next. Some of them might even live closer to you.

I know this is painful for you - so many of us have had our hearts broken and been abandoned for no apparent reason. But it does get better. Every single day it gets better.

Good luck.

I am so sorry, but he's gone back to his ex, for whatever reason, and he's now moving forward in his life with his ex and the two children. Stop trying to work out why he has done this because sometimes there is no obvious reason.

Remember the three months you had with him and treasure them, but also remember that now you have to move forward.

They key is distraction. Distract yourself from thinking about him by keeping busy, seeing friends and family. Stop all contact with his mum - no matter how well-meaning and kind she is being, the information she gives you is only giving you false hope. Go back on the internet and meet other men - there are hundreds of genuine men out there doing internet dating and, like you, they are looking for that special someone and you never know who you might meet next. Some of them might even live closer to you.

I know this is painful for you - so many of us have had our hearts broken and been abandoned for no apparent reason. But it does get better. Every single day it gets better.

Good luck.

I recently went through the same things only they were together longer but she had cheated on him for over 2 years. It was like he died. One minute he was here with me and the next he was telling me goodbye forever. I had a weak moment (partially medically induced) and text him and his wife answered and went a-wall on me! I had to threaten her with the police to get her to leave me alone! It is very hard but I just keep hoping that I'm not doomed and one day things will work out for the best.

Hi - this has just happened to me too. Would love to know what the end of the story was. Did he realise his mistake and come back to you or have you moved on now?
I feel like you did, I don't want to move on in case he comes back.

Hi elaine sorry its took me so long to reply... hmmm well the end of the story wasn't a good one I'm afraid, no fairytale ending... but I found out what he was really like and realised I could do better... do not wait elaine... move on and enjoy life... x