I am a girl of 25 years old and my boyfriend is 50years old. I really do love him with all my heart. Do you think we can work out this relationship?

Love is love but you got to know what you're getting into. It's preferred to date someone of a similar age because they can grow old with you. You're a young girl and he's most likely going to pass away long before you. At this point you will be at an age where it will be hard to find another partner. That's a hard thing to accept. There's the logic but I won't fight love. If you love this man enough to live with that... go for it. Hope it works out for the best.

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Originally Posted by haima

can work out this relationship?

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Yes you can, but the odds are against you. First is when he is 70 you will only be 45. You will be still be a vibrant woman and he will be in his declining years. So one thing you need to really look at is his current health and family history. Second, do you want to be thought of as a trophy wife? Generally woman who marry way older man are looked at in this fashion. Especially if he has money.

There are other things that might be said depending on your experience with men, how long you have been in this relationship, what his history with woman is (has he ever been married), etc.

We can't predict the future, all we can do is make sure you go into this with wide open eyes about the potential pitfalls.

It's possible that the relationship can work, but not very probable.

I think relationships like yours sometimes slip into a parent-child relationship, so watch out. He may eventually be trying to father you, after all he is old enough to be your father.

If the relationship leads to marriage, be sure you're on the same page when it comes to having kids. At his age, he's probably already "been there and done that" and may not have any interest in starting a new family. It pays to be clear about your relationship hopes and dreams from the start.

Could you picture yourself taking care of him when he's 80 and you're only 55?

Basically whether your relationship succeeds or not depends on strong communication skills, dedication, honesty and a lot of effort. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by haima

I am a girl of 25 years old and my boyfriend is 50years old. I really do love him with all my heart. Do you think we can work out this relationship?

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Absolutely. Why not?

It can work if you both work at it.

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Originally Posted by haima

Do you think we can work out this relationship?

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Hello h:

Even if you work it out, it's only going to work out for him... Unless, he's got a LOT of money. Otherwise, you're going to wind up emptying his bed pan when what you REALLY want to do is get laid..

excon

It could, but I wonder if your love is clouding your thinking.
There are a lot of things to consider here. Do you want kids, at his age does he want to be raising kids? You are still very young, how does he get on with your friends, does he socialize with your friends?
How long have you been with this man?
I'd like to think love conquers all, but a 25 year difference is a huge one. It may not matter now but 10-15 years down the road are you prepared for the differences there will be?

Why are you doubting?

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

It could, but I wonder if your love is clouding your thinking.
There are a lot of things to consider here. Do you want kids, at his age does he want to be raising kids? You are still very young, how does he get on with your friends, does he socialize with your friends?
How long have you been with this man?
I'd like to think love conquers all, but a 25 year difference is a huge one. It may not matter now but 10-15 years down the road are you prepared for the differences there will be?

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First we don't want kids, 2 its about 6months since we started, 3 I think am prepared for that because what I know is that I love him so much. He is my first man. What do you think?
Haima.

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Originally Posted by excon

Hello h:

Even if you work it out, it's only going to work out for him.... Unless, he's got a LOT of money. Otherwise, you're going to wind up emptying his bed pan when what you REALLY want to do is get laid..

excon

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I just love him not his money nor wealthy. It happens right? I didn't choose to fall in love with him it just happen to me.
Haima

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Originally Posted by Matthew456

Love is love but you gotta know what you're getting into. It's preferred to date someone of a similar age because they can grow old with you. You're a young girl and he's most likely going to pass away long before you. At this point you will be at an age where it will be hard to find another partner. That's a hard thing to accept. There's the logic but i won't fight love. If you love this man enough to live with that... go for it. Hope it works out for the best.

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Thanks Matthew.

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Originally Posted by haima

First we dont want kids, 2 its about 6months since we started, 3 i think am prepared for that coz what i know is that i love him so much. He is my first man. what do u think?
Haima.

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I see a few problems here. First, you say you don't want kids, but you would be a rare 25 yr old woman who doesn't. This might return to haunt you as your biological clock ticks down. Second, 6 months is not a long time to let a relationship gel, especially if its your first. I would give it at least another 6 months before you make a firm commitment. Third, you say this is your "first man". Does that mean you have dated before, but only boys? Or does that mean this is your first relationship? Because if its your first, then I have doubts that you may really be feeling love. But again, letting the relationship gel for at least another 6 months will help. In fact, I would recommend that, at that time, you move in together for another 6 months to see if you can manage that. Dating is one thing, but living together is a different animal.

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Originally Posted by haima

First we don't want kids, 2 its about 6months since we started, 3 i think am prepared for that coz what i know is that i love him so much. He is my first man. what do u think?
Haima.

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I think it takes a lot longer than 6 months to even know enough about a person to see if a life time is what you really want. Strong intense feelings go through a lot of changes when time, and reality are involved. I think if you love him as you say, there is no hurry to do anything but enjoy getting to know them well. That's what dating is all about.

At some point, the fun of love turns into the work of love, and that's what gets you down the road. Those fuzzy feelings get replaced by responsibilities, and obligations.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.




This is your first man and you are 25. Who's idea is it that you want no kids?
I think being with someone 6 months is not long enough to want to throw your youth and possible motherhood away.
I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that he is your first.
Give this some time. Get to know him better. You don't want this guy to become your daddy and controlling your life.

I'm sorry but I just see red flags everywhere here.

You know saying you are prepared for things because of a sudden romance is one thing and none of us know the future.

Can it work, yes of course you will always be asked if you are his daughter ( or grand daughter) I get that all the time with my son asking me if he is my grandson.

Next of course his sex drive will get less and he may stay active for a elderly man up into his 70's

But it will be a hard relationship but then what one is not.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

But it will be a hard relationship.

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Hello Padre:

If she's lucky...

excon

Hi Haima

You say that he is your first man. Be aware that the first man is almost always the one we fall in love with the most deeply.

This relationship may well work, but you have to go into it with your eyes wide open.

A 6 month relationship is a very short one, so make no decisions whatsoever until you have been together for at least one year.

You say you don't want children, but you are only 25 (and I emphasis the ONLY because you are YOUNG). You have 10-15 years during which your biological clock can start ticking unexpectedly - and when it ticks it screams at you. You may hit 35 and want nothing more than a baby - your man will be 60 at that point.

Think hard about the life you may lead in 25 years time - your man will be 75 and becoming elderly while you will be only 50, which is his age now. You see your 50 year old man as vibrant and desirable now. When he is 75, you will be 50 and still vibrant and desirable. Look at your 50 year old man. And now look very hard at lots of 75 year old men. When you are your man's age, you will be hanging out with a 75 year old man.

But, they do say that love conquers all. So if you both love each other to bits, then who is anyone to say it won't work? It's up to you and your man.

Good luck.