I've been with a girl I love for about 3 years off and on. She's my first girlfriend in any fashion and I know she loves me as much as I love her. The problem is that she's flirty with other guys and doesn't realize when she's gone too far. When we first started dating she would make sexual jokes with a friend of mine and they would hang out alone on numerous occasions. I asked her to stop hanging out with him alone and she refused and it turned into a fight which caused us to break up. Two weeks later I apologized and we got back together. In the time we were broken up she made out with this guy a few times and spent a night at his house from what I could gather. It hurt me but I wasn't about to let it get in the way of my feelings for her.
We stuck it out until we graduated high school and the first week of college she broke up with me because she felt it would be too hard on the relationship (we were going to different colleges). She would text me off and on saying she missed me and wanted to see me and eventually I caved in and had to see her. After much pain and effort, my friends did everything in their power to prevent this from happening mind you, we became a couple again. Two days later she broke down and told me she had slept with two other guys when we were apart. I saw this coming, forgave her, never told anyone and never talked about it again. I was afraid of having to live that down if anyone else found out. I've been spending the last 2 years defending her for the first thing. If it's not known yet, I love this girl, despite her flaws. We all have them. My question is this: Is their any hope for this to be a healthy relationship? I'm hurting inside and I feel like she's giving herself away to everyone but me. I love this girl sooo much!! Is it worth the pain? Can I trust ever her again?

Thanks again for any advice

Pretty much everyone here can relate to your situation, we've all been there. I know it's not going to be an illumination and change your mind suddenly, but maybe it can help...

You can try to trust her AGAIN, but you'll see quickly (you already notice) re-building trust takes a lot of time and work, on both parts (mostly hers.) Yet she doesn't seem interested anymore. So if you want to trust her again you will have to do all the work, be exhausted -I'm sorry to tell you this- you will probably fail.

Ask yourself if you will be comfortable when she goes out without you. Will you be fine with her sleeping at a friend's house when you don't know who else will be there? Will you just tell her you love her and go hang out with your friends?

I think she is using you, as a backup or emotional sponge and she keeps having fun by herself.

My mom says a lot of stupid things but every once in a while she says something that actually makes sense, like "once trust is broken, you can try to "glue" it but you will always see that it's been broken." Hopefully, you will soon realize how miserable it's making you and end it. Good luck.

OK... this is your first relationship so we will have to cut you some slack here. But man... you need to grab a little self respect here! Really, you should have listened to your friends.
I understand that you are in love with this girl but, you will see that in all relationships you need to put that emotion in check sometimes to look at the relationship objectively. Your emotions are clouding your judgement. This girl knows she has you around her finger and by what you have written she can pretty much do what she wants because you will always apologize and forgive her. You had a legitimate concern there... about her flirting with other guys and what did you do? You came crawling back to her apologizing for it!
You are young, there are so many other girls out there... ones that will appreciate you. You need to get out of this one sided relationship... and experience other relationships but, not until you take sometime to learn from this one otherwise you are setting yourself up to be a door matt with every girl you hook up with.
She certainly has flaws and so do you for letting her treat you that way. First loves can be the hardest to deal with... listen to you friends.. they have the benefit to view your relationship without emotions. It's time for you to move on and in time, once you get past this, you will wonder how on earth you let her walk all over you like that.

You have known her, and her flaws when you are not around, long enough to either accept those flaws, or leave her alone if its too much for you. It seems when she is not with you in a relationship, she doesn't hesitate to find attention elsewhere, and in a hurry. But you know that, and take her back, so really it was none of your business, and now with distance between you, do you think she is behaving?

Of course you may think so, but don't know do you? You may never trust her when you aren't there, but since your love allows you to forgive so easily, then I am afraid you are stuck with dealing with your trust issues, and I hope you are better at it, than the way you deal with your love issues.

You have had a preview of life with her will be about, and maybe you would be better off with finding your second love, and not be so stuck on the first one. While I understand the attachments with her, sooner or later, you will tire of those feelings, and want to do better, so I wish you luck, and hope you at least express yourself honestly, and draw some boundaries you both can agree on.

Dude get rid of her! As hard as it may be and the pain it will cause deep in your heart you know that your barking up the wrong tree! You say she has flaws but from where I am standing all she has is a total disregard for your feelings. You may love her but believe me! I she's doing that to you and you always have to defend her it isn't love!

My advice is man up and tell her to walk! Sounds harsh but your not a door mat!

In my opinion, I think you should move on.

She's been flirting, sleeping around, and just plain disrepectful to you. Why would you ever want a woman like that? What are you going to do, wait around until she brings you an STD?

There's plenty of great women out there. Heal and then go find one that loves and respects you.