Hi,IM prabhu,I love a girl who is not of my caste, girls side OK, but my side my mum is creating issue, its going on for nearly 2years but still my mum doesn't understands she sticks adamantly to her point that this will not work to our family. She is mainly highlighting that this is the first marriage of our generation so if you do that all the brothers/sisters in relation group will follow, it will create bad name to you. She say I don't want to see my son gets a bad name, she is threatening that she will not live if I marry the girl I love, I don't how to convince at this point can any one help ***

What does your girl say? What does your siblings think? Will they help you convince your mother to change her mind, or attitude? You don't mention your father, what are his thoughts on all of this?? What of your elders, can they help you?

Thanks for your response...
I have an younger brother who is like,if things happen to me he will bring her girl friend and mary else will mary my mum choice,he not a decision taking person,
My dad has already said OK to marriage of my choice,bt my mum recently crying and not eating/sleping etc made dad life miserable hence dad nt sure on suporting me fuly.However girls side their parents had met me and their fuly convience on me,their OK now.Only ball to pin is my mum then all will be clear.

Just curious, how old are you two? Are you both employed? I will admit that I know little of your culture, but it would seem some elder clergy members may be of help. Someone she respect that can present your side of things or maybe give you some alternatives and suggestions. Couldn't hurt to consult with them.

Im 28 and my girl is 25,I'm emplyed and my girl has temperorly resigned job.
We are also planning to move with a person who tends to talk about the good and bad of both sides will help.
Thanks for your response.

I am going to look at this a bit differently to see if it might bring up ideas.

In your mother's generation or before, have there been any love/intercaste marriages especially in her family? If so, what was the community/family reaction to them? Were any of the reactions so negative that she might be afraid of what could happen in future love matches?

I know you see it as her being stubborn and such, but her objections may be deeper than not wanting you to get a 'bad name'. Is she worried about your safety and future?

Does she have someone picked out for you? Is she worried about losing her oldest son if he gets married to anyone?

As a mother, there is pressure to raise your children properly. Does she see your wanting to marry for love instead of family duty as a mark against against herself? How much honor is there in being the mother of the first groom to marry in a generation?