This a question I came up after reading an interesting thread started by member reallywondering found here https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...ebcam+filipina.
My situation is very similar, but still at the very early stages (filipina met online, on a webcam site). To make a long story short, she's 24, I'm 30, she's new to the site (me too), and in that business, and hates it. My attitude toward her seems to constrasts with others and she ask me if I want to chat with her on a external messenger (yahoo). She's very religious, relatively educated, never asks me for money and we engage good conversations on all kind of subjects, we get along very well. On the third day's chatting session, she starts telling me she "loves me", and not only once, but several times that day, and since. I started getting seriously worried.
I'm getting pretty sure it's a scam, but I still would like to get advices and opinions. I read a bit on Philippines different cultures, and women are generally described as very conservative in matters like seduction and marriage, they would most of the times play it "hard to get". That's what worries me, but on the other side, could it be so obvious that it becomes credible? (does that even make sense?)

I'm advancing very cautiously, but I seek the light of others

Thanks in advance.

You are wise to use extreme levels of caution.

There could very well be a third party involved here. She could be looking for 'hits', or 'leads' that indicate you could serve some purpose, other than what you think. Whatever information she garners from you, may be passed on to a 'coach' of some sort, or, you could be a target for extortion, or worse.

There may never be a person to meet, but you could be led to believe there is, if you meet her, or their, needs. i.e. money.

Whatever you do, do not offer any personal information that can identify you in any way. That would include personal email, phone numbers, employers, where you live, etc. Think of reverse phone number searches, Google Street Maps, etc. Tools are not so sophisticated anymore for finding out information on people that they would otherwise wish to keep private.

If they are in the business of scamming, which is a good possibility, you are best to search for love in other places.

Think about the nature of the conversation. If it is all about you, i.e. flattering, encouraging, understanding, and overly empathetic, and very little about her, i.e. facts, then likely you are being set up.

Try more local dating sites, where you can have a profile with limited information, and at least some security in knowing it is a regulated, safer site. I have friends who have, through local dating sites, met some very nice people.

I would too, have the same concerns you have. We have had here on AMHD, many who have been stung by dating site scams, and have empty wallets to prove it.

Your instincts may be serving you well as I think she is setting you up for the future, and rule of thumb, if it appears to be to good to be true, then it usually is, and may indeed be a scam.

Good rule of thumb- if it's too good to be true...

Thanks for answering guys. I'll bring my concerns up on our next discussion, see what she comes up with.

First mistake was to go on that stupid site... I'm such a mess.

Thanks again, I find this site great.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by koncerned

I'll bring my concerns up on our next discussion, see what she comes up with.

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If this is a scam, she will be more than prepared to address your concerns. Don't accuse or act paranoid. Be subtle. Be our spy. Win an Academy Award with your performance! (And let us know!)

Go with your gut.

Have you ever asked her what she means when she tells you that? It can have many meanings. Some deep affection and others its more words of passing. Love is a strange word because its both a noun and a verb. Its up to both of you to define what it is.

I didn't. And you're right, I will. Although, she also mentioned words like "husband" and "marry"

Update and closure.

Apparently I insisted so much last time I talked with her on the fact that I was a student, and broke (which is true lol), that Poof! No more Michelle. She connects at times, but don't talk to me. When I asked about it, she told me to forget her, to focus on school, that she doesn't want to give me problems.
In the meantime, I also befriended some filipinos on some kind of forum that confirmed my suspicions.
Its hard to be sentimental, single and in need of love lol

Anyway thanks to all of you, at the time I first wrote the question, I really needed inputs. I feel like I dodged one right there.

Peace

Thanks for reporting back. I'm glad we helped you dodge a bullet. And now I feel better about being suspicious, that my instincts were correct.

Best wishes to you, and come back if you have any other questions or concerns. The light is always on here at AskMeHelpDesk!

Oh koncerned,

Praise the Lord and pass the turkey- you did indeed dodge a bullet!!

I am so happy that you were smart enough to be suspicious enough, to check it out. You have saved yourself so much grief, you have no idea. People have been bilked of thousands of dollars with these scams.

Very pleased you are not one of them.

Good for you, and thank you for taking the time to post about what happened.

I love good endings.