My husband says that he did not feel my hymen when we made love for the first time. I was a virgin and it was my 1st time. He had other sexual relationships before. I do not remember having any accidents growing up and I've never fingered myself / never touched myself inside / never used a tampon before... I did feel him struggle as he tried to penetrate the very 1st time and after I felt a moment of pain, he stopped awhile and then continued to move slowly. I feel insulted and hurt that the man I saved myself for has doubts now about me having been a virgin. Why did he not feel my hymen or felt what I had experienced?

You should be insulted and hurt. Your hymen could have been intact or not, and if not, it didn't have to have been from something you remember doing. If it was, he might not have noticed. Each one is a bit different. I would do some internet research on the hymen to show him.

Many women were never born with one... many more get broken playing as children. A few are so thick they need cut surgically.

He was pretty rude in stating that to you.

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Originally Posted by hymen

My husband says that he did not feel my hymen when we made love for the first time. I was a virgin and it was my 1st time. He had other sexual relationships before. I do not remember having any accidents growing up and i've never fingered myself / never touched myself inside / never used a tampon before... I did feel him struggle as he tried to penetrate the very 1st time and after I felt a moment of pain, he stopped awhile and then continued to move slowly. I feel insulted and hurt that the man I saved myself for has doubts now about me having been a virgin. Why did he not feel my hymen or felt what I had experienced?

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I agree with Smoothy.

It also sounds as if he did break the hymen from the description you gave us.

What does he expect? A huge gush of blood and you having blood curtailing screams? I mean what?

That is pretty bold of him to question you like that.

If your older then maybe it's just thinned out over the years? That initial discomfort and small bit of pain could have been it!
When I was 15 I lost my virginity, I had no pain whatsoever and maybe a small spot of blood... Fact is we are all different!
Maybe research online with him about other women's experiences in losing their virginities ( I bet there are non pornographic more forum like discussions you could find about it ) and see how many different opinions people have had about it? If that would help him calm down about it!

I see that you are from Asia, so I'm assuming this is a cultural issue.

Assure him that you were a virgin, but hymens come in different thicknesses, as well as sometimes being born without one. It is very easy for the hymen to break in childhood accidents. Many of which you may have been too young to remember.