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-   -   Can I make my ex move my kids back to the state I live (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=520386)

  • Oct 26, 2010, 06:28 AM
    heartbrokendad
    Can I make my ex move my kids back to the state I live
    In 2008 I fought my ex wife on taking my kids out of state,I won the battle but then let my kids talk me into letting them go,now my 13 yr old son after 2 yrs wants to move in with me,his mom is refusing to let him, he says his older sister is hitting him all the time and his mom is never home constantly leaving him home alone while she works and goes out do I have any legal standing in this matter could I get custody of my son. She also half the time won't let me speak to them,she is constantly putting me down to the kids,I can't even talk to her on phone without her calling me every name in the book. All this is just making my son depressed he is now on adhd medication,and my oldest daughter has totally turned against me telling me now she wished I was dead.we had a great relationship when they lived here and now she hates please tell me what my options are they live in Florida I live in Ohio
  • Oct 26, 2010, 06:36 AM
    smoothy

    Curious to hear the answer to this for Ohio... I know in the state of NY you can, or she would lose custody of them... personal experience with an ex-girlfriend years ago... She had to move back to NY from MD or her ex-would get gain full custody when she had it before.
  • Oct 26, 2010, 10:36 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by heartbrokendad View Post
    in 2008 i fought my ex wife on taking my kids out of state,i won the battle but then let my kids talk me into letting them go,now my 13 yr old son after 2 yrs wants to move in with me,his mom is refusing to let him, he says his older sister is hitting him all the time and his mom is never home constantly leaving him home alone while she works and goes out do I have any legal standing in this matter could i get custody of my son. She also half the time won't let me speak to them,she is constantly putting me down to the kids,I can't even talk to her on phone without her calling me every name in the book. All this is just making my son depressed he is now on adhd medication,and my oldest daughter has totally turned against me telling me now she wished i was dead.we had a great relationship when they lived here and now she hates please tell me what my options are they live in florida i live in ohio

    Why would you fight for something just to give in after winning? That makes no sense at all. Were you fighting because you believed the move would be detrimental to them, or was it just to spite your ex? If you really thought the move was not to their benefit, you had absolutely no reason to allow it after the judge granted your request because s/he obviously agreed that the children should not move.

    How old are the children? Why do you state that you only want custody of your son and not your other child(ren)? At 13 years old, your son is old enough to take care of himself while his mother is at work. Are the children not being cared for or abused?
  • Oct 26, 2010, 11:56 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Curious to hear the answer to this for Ohio.....

    Actually, the OP says the kids are in Florida. Since they have been there for two years, an action to change custody would have to be filed in Florida, not Ohio.
  • Oct 26, 2010, 12:57 PM
    cdad
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by AK lawyer View Post
    Actually, the OP says the kids are in Florida. Since they have been there for two years, an action to change custody would have to be filed in Florida, not Ohio.

    If Ohio is the originating state and the Op still resides in that state then it remains there.
  • Oct 26, 2010, 03:31 PM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    If Ohio is the originating state and the Op still resides in that state then it remains there.

    I was wrong. You are probably right. Assuming that the OP has always been in Ohio, the original decree was done there, and that jurisdiction remains in Ohio according to the terms of the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction And Enforcement Act.
  • Oct 26, 2010, 08:14 PM
    heartbrokendad
    Comment on this8384's post
    I was fighting because I didn't want them to go,I have never been away from them nor them me,but I let them talk me into it they thought they would like it. My son is the one that wants to move back in with me he has always been daddy's boy
  • Oct 26, 2010, 08:16 PM
    heartbrokendad
    Comment on this8384's post
    The girls the one is 17 she loves it there the other is 12 and she is not sure what she wants there mom leaves them all the time while she goes and gets drunk,the oldest girl is hitting on my son because he takes up for me
  • Oct 26, 2010, 08:19 PM
    heartbrokendad
    Comment on this8384's post
    Their mother works till 1-2 am and the oldest girl is out running the two youngest are home alone and I feel at that time of night they should not be left alone.
  • Oct 26, 2010, 08:20 PM
    heartbrokendad
    Comment on AK lawyer's post
    Yes all divorce and custody issues were dealt with here in Ohio,then she moved to Florida
  • Oct 27, 2010, 04:02 AM
    ScottGem

    First, please don't use the Comments feature to post followups. Use the Answer options instead.

    You asked whether you could "get custody" or had "legal standing". This confuses me. The original divorce decree should have established custody and legal standing. If you won the battle to prevent them from moving that affirms you have, at least, joint legal custody. Letting them move wouldn't change that, so I wonder about this.

    For you to have won that battle, you must have had a visitation schedule that you couldn't continue with if she moved. When you allowed the move, did you agree to any change in that schedule?

    But the bottom line here is you should be able to apply to the court for primary physical custody of your son. Despite the fact that you allowed the move, if you have kept in contact and supported the children you have a good chance of getting it, especially if he wants it. While 13 is young for the courts to put much weight on his preference, the circumstances you describe may help. But you only know if you try. So file for a modification.
  • Oct 27, 2010, 02:26 PM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    ... Despite the fact that you allowed the move, if you have kept in contact and supported the children you have a good chance of getting it, especially if he wants it. ...

    It appears that you allowed the kids to stay with your ex despite the fact that your decree gave you primary physical custody. If this is the case, if there was never any formal modification of the custody order, you might simply ask that the original order be now enforced. In other words, no change to the actual order is actually needed.
  • Oct 29, 2010, 07:50 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by AK lawyer View Post
    It appears that you allowed the kids to stay with your ex despite the fact that your decree gave you primary physical custody. If this is the case, if there was never any formal modification of the custody order, you might simply ask that the original order be now enforced. In other words, no change to the actual order is actually needed.

    He stated his exwife wanted to move in 2008 and was trying to take the children with her, which implies that she was/is the custodial parent; he fought that in court and the judge denied her request to relocate. He later gave in, let her relocate and take the children with her - now he wants to know how he can undo what's been done.

    So yes, a change to the order is needed. He doesn't have primary custody and he now wants it. He can't "enforce" something he threw out the window(the denial for her to move).
  • Oct 29, 2010, 02:03 PM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by this8384 View Post
    He stated his exwife wanted to move in 2008 and was trying to take the children with her, which implies that she was/is the custodial parent; he fought that in court and the judge denied her request to relocate. He later gave in, let her relocate and take the children with her - now he wants to know how he can undo what's been done.

    So yes, a change to the order is needed. He doesn't have primary custody and he now wants it. He can't "enforce" something he threw out the window(the denial for her to move).

    Clould be, but probably they simply did what the parents and kids all agreed to do. Usually folks don't pay big bucks to lawyers if they don't absolutely have to. I'm guessing that's what happened here. If OP comes back perhaps he will tell us.

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