Hi.

First things first, I'm 19. I have some feelings towards a friend of mine but she made pretty obvious that I'm in friend zone, the thing is we have nothing to zero things in common.
I think the problem is with me, I just stopped growing up when I hit my 15 years old mark I guess, while everybody is driving, going to parties, drinking, having sex and any other stuff I'm studying, working and in my free time I play videogames.
I'm the typical geek, I study computers, I work with computers my hobby is computers, I also love sports, played basketball on HS team but I had to stop to study to go to college, but I don't have a great body, I'm 6'4" and over 210lbs, I'm kind of fat.

She said once that she would never date friends, and that she preferred skinner guys stuff like that. I honestly felt like **** that time, you know I try to pose as confident or else people just run through me but lately it has been very difficult, I love my family, I'm very close to my mom, some might think I'm spoiled, sometimes she doesn't let me do things but it's okay guess maybe she knows what's right for me.

So Am I wrong? Should I change my ways? I don't like parties much, I went on one with a friend once but the music sucked and was way too loud and everybody was drunk, I guess that's the definition of cool these days. I never liked this kind of stuff but it's become more frequente around my social circles and I'm feeling a little of place.

Should I do something to feel better with myself? I guess I can begin by trying to loose some weight. I don't drink, should I start? I really don't know what to do, will this ever go away? I mean this kind of behavior is common at my age or I'll keep getting older and will keep feeling of place. Sorry to lay down all this on you guys but I had to let it out :/

I beg you with all my heart -- don't start drinking, smoking, doing drugs, or whatever you think it might be "cool" to do. You sound like a keeper, so stay that way. Eventually, these young people your age will get over themselves and settle down. That's when you will shine.

Lose weight, if you think that will help YOU feel and look better, read lots of books, meet and get to know lots of people of all ages so you are comfortable with anyone, join a church maybe, and continue to be the wonderful, well-written, well-spoken guy you appear to be. If only I had a daughter about your age...

First of all, you do not sound like a geek. You sound very mature for your age and has his head on straight.

I think you should be yourself. Don't change for someone else.

If this girl wants to be friends, then just be friends. There are others out there who will like you for who you are.

If you choose to lose wieght or feel that it's necessary, then do so for yourself.

210 is not that big for your size. That's just my opinion though.

:) Thank you for the support guys, I felt really better after reading your answers. I guess If you don't fit in your current social circle you should find another one, not change yourself and try to fit in anyway.

I guess the first thing I do should is starting being sorry for myself :) Thank you a lot! I'm a little away from my ideal weight, when I played I was thiner, but I will go back to the team later this year. I'm starting a health eating program too so it will help me feel better with myself :D.

And hey if that girl doesn't want nothing with me, many will right? :) Thank you for the great advice and compliments.

"And hey if that girl doesn't want nothing with me, many will right?"

Yes. Trust me.

Good luck.

Hey man I am also 19, and a 5-year WoW vet, a 6-year Runescape vet, and a 3-year Guild Wars vet. Believe me when I tell you that I know how you feel when talking about whether you should start drinking and smoking and doing what all your friends are doing man. I did decide to develop with the rest of the group considering that I am a geek too and a social butterfly on the other hand. I am not going to preach to you why doing all the things that I am also guilty of are bad, but if you ever decide to do them please don't make the same mistakes I did and do them for a good reason, such as experimenting or because you simply want to, and not just because you are trying to fit in. Girls may like guys who do all the things that the "cool" things do but trust me when I tell you this, it might take longer but soon enough you will meet a girl that you feel so comfortable around that she will love you, appreciate you, and look up to you while you are simply being yourself. And that is exactly what you should be looking for, don't change for anyone but yourself because in the end you will have become perfect in someone's eye which will eventually mean nothing if you are not the best you can be in your eyes. Enjoy your games and level up as much as you can, if you decide to lose weight do it for health reasons, if you decide to drink and smoke do it because you felt like it and not because your surroundings are pushing you to do so. Be your own person and enjoy it, because once you start reacting to your surrounding instead of acting on your way of thinking you lose yourself. Also, as you get older and experience new things you will meet new people and you will assign certain people to do different things. Like a group for drinking and smoking, a group for going out to get girls, a girl that loves you to hang with, girls to fulfill your human needs, and even groups for you to play your games with. So don't worry if this girl doesn't want you, leave her and wait for someone who enjoys being with you because she likes the way you genuinely are.

Good Luck,

Javi

That's the spirit!

Hey :) I know you've already got answers but I just thought id add mine :)
I'm a 19yr old girl, and ill let you in on a little secret, I love 'the typical geek'.. guys who go out every weekend and literally just drink and smoke so they can say 'i can't remember a thing I did last night man!' is honestly the biggest turn off
You say you stopped growing up when you were 15.. sounds like your much more mature than A lot of 19 yr old guys I know

And the weight issue? Ill let you in on another secret.. I don't like it when guys are skinny, when they are skinnier then me I feel like I'm hanging around with a 15yr old for some reason, so I like the bigger boys :) if you want to loose weight please please make sure its for you and not for other people
If you don't like the party scene then don't do it, if you don't want to drink, then don't do it

You honestly sound like the perfect guy, you'll definitely find a girl who appreciates you for you.. and a lucky lucky girl she will be too!

You can't expect to be friends with everyone. You can't expect everyone to be compatible with every girl you like.

But, by meeting new people, you increase your chances of making new friends and finding someone who can possibly become your girlfriend.

As for being shy, that can be overcome through experience. Though you're not interested in smoking, partying, drinking, etc. that doesn't mean that you can't meet new people or have fun. You just need to find people who have more in common with you.

Being is school is the best time to meet new people because you can join clubs. By joining a club that you're interested in, you have the opportunity to meet people with similar interests. I'm not saying that you will meet your future best friends there, but you do increase your chances of meeting them, as opposed to sitting at home on the computer.

I also believe that you might not always know that you're interested in until you find out what's out there and try different things. Even if you don't like what you tried, at least you would have had the chance to try and meet new people. Furthermore, you would be using the process of elimination approaching (eliminating possible interests).

So get out there and miggle!

Soo. Revisiting here to let you all know (In case you do want to know) how things has been. I'm doing my tests for college tomorrow. ( I guess you call SAT's on USA) so this will be a huge relief. I decided to let that girl have it her way and now I'm just being polite so she stopped playing with me.
I'll rejoin the Bball team, already talked to the coach. And I'm trying out for football (Again) next week. I tried out once just for the kicks but I got selected as a TE, but I did just for fun and had no intentions of joining the team back then.

Thank you all for the kind answers I felt really good with all the compliments. Thank you jade :) . And thank you I wish, you're right, proper moving of the topic as well. Annd, I tried different things and I don't liked it at all.
So I came to the conclusion of.. Why should I change who I am? I'm already the best I can be, I'm not worse or better than anybody else, I'm just different, and I should hang with people like me, not trying to change who I am to please others. I go out every single weekend, but I just play some ball with friends or do a game night with others, and that's how I am happy. I don't know what got into me. I guess I have been out of the dating scene for almost 3 years now and put in my mind that I should get any girl just to prove it that I can, but I already did it, and it's not the times who have changed or me that got older, I'm just hanging with the wrong people.

I guess there is no need to revisit here but if anyone want's to add something I'll kindly answer. Thank you all.

Thank you for coming back to give us more information and your conclusion. I personally am very proud of you. You have a bright future!