I have been talking to this married guy for the past 6 months. I totally dig him and I know he totally digs me. We have never slept together. But we have made out and you know generally kissed. We decided together that we we not going to sleep together until he leaves his wife. He is waiting until his daughter turns 18, she is 15 now. Well, we got drunk together and one thing led to another. I have my own boyfriend and I feel guilty as hell. I am not sure what to do? Should I tell my boyfriend? Should I tell his wife? I never meant for it happen like that because I don't want to be a homewrecker and he knows that. Any advice??

Run for the hills girl! He is never going to leave his wife, he is just leading you on! If he had any intention of leaving her he would have done it by now.. you need to get rid of your boyfriend too! Obviously you don't love him very much or you wouldn't have ever thought about making out with any man, much less a married one! My advice is to leave them both alone and do some self reflection, work on yourself before you get in any relationship.. If you don't.. It's going to come back and bite you in the rear!

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Originally Posted by amethyst82

I have been talking to this married guy for the past 6 months. I totally dig him and i know he totally digs me. We have never slept together. But we have made out and you know generally kissed. We decided together that we we not going to sleep together until he leaves his wife. He is waiting until his daughter turns 18, she is 15 now. Well, we got drunk together and one thing led to another. I have my own boyfriend and I feel guilty as hell. I am not sure what to do? Should I tell my boyfriend? Should I tell his wife? I never ment for it happen like that because I dont want to be a homewrecker and he knows that. Any advice???

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It's too late for you not to be a homewrecker. Like it or not, you are.

I feel bad for your boyfriend and this married mans wife.

You are foolish to believe that this man will actually leave his wife in three years. If he was that adamant about leaving his wife for you, then he would do it NOW. Not in three years.

This man has the best of both worlds. He can have you when he wants, then his wife.

I think that you should tell your boyfriend. Most likely he will break up with you, which I don't blame. Then I think you should leave this married man alone. Don't tell his wife, let him do that himself. Then I think you should get some counseling for yourself. Then I think you should not be in a relationship for a while until you can grasp the fact that when a man is with someone else that he's off limits.

End it with this married man. He will never want you, other then for sex.

Hi, amethyst82!

In addition to the fine answers that you've already been given I would like to write that, if someone is willing to cheat on anyone, what would make anyone willing to take the risk that they wouldn't cheat on someone again, especially if one of the cheaters was willing to cheat on someone with whom was given vows?

Thanks!

You need to take your "Sweetness" somewhere else. Shame on you! I can never understand why some woman need a married man in their life. I thought it might be because these type of home wreckers have some sort of a confidence issue and need to get attention from men to feel good about themselves. And not to forget the sorry piece of a person that ruthlessly played along. He is defiantly not worthy of being called a man. Men will lie and tell you exactly what you want to here to get a piece of you. Like Enigma1999 above wrote "This man has the best of both worlds. He can have you when he wants, then his wife". Besides, do you think that you will be treated any different? Once a cheat, always a cheat. And that counts for you too. Your also a cheat. Sorry if I am so blunt but I am a strong believer in sisterhood. We should stick together and not hurt each-other. I also think you need to leave both men alone and fix yourself first. Maybe then you can be a better friend to other females and also a better partner/wife in a future relationships. If you don't change your ways, remember that what goes around, comes around. Trust me, it will bite you in the butt... eventually.

Comment on Enigma1999's post

I am no home wrecker. I completely understand that he is married. Which is why I stopped talking to him for a few months. Its not like it happened intentionally. When I found out he was married I stopped talking to him. Even though I felt attracted to him.

Back in May me and my boyfriend broke up because he cheated on me and I me and him became good friends, but didn't know he was married. The night that it did happen between us, I felt guilty and am seeking advice. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend nor do I want to hurt his wife.

I know that the man will never be with me because he is married. I just have them feelings you know. I know that I should tell my boyfriend which I probably will. But I feel even more guilty because of his wife. He told me he's been married for the past 26 years which makes it worse.

I think the problem is I don't want to be the one tell his wife and if I tell my boyfriend he will tell her himself. I guess I don't want him to do that.

Don't tell his wife about it, just hang your head in shame and walk away.

Your story has changed...

"I am no home wrecker. I completely understand that he is married. Which is why I stopped talking to him for a few months. Its not like it happened intentionally. When I found out he was married I stopped talking to him. Even though I felt attracted to him."


This is not what you said in your original post...


"I have been talking to this married guy for the past 6 months. I totally dig him and i know he totally digs me. We have never slept together. But we have made out and you know generally kissed. We decided together that we we not going to sleep together until he leaves his wife. He is waiting until his daughter turns 18, she is 15 now. Well, we got drunk together and one thing led to another."

That is what you said originally. Which would lead us to believe that you already knew he was married, even if you didn't have sex, but still would kiss and make out. That is still cheating.

Which is why I said that you are a homewrecker.

So, which is it? Did you know while you were kissing him that he was married, or no?

Comment on Enigma1999's post

At first I didn't know... When we kissed and made out I didn't know that he was married. When he told me that he was we decided that we would wait to do anything.

Then I stopped talking to him because I read all the statistics and stuff about married people and the majority says they won't leave there wife.

I agree... He won't leave his wife.

I would just leave it alone all together. By that, I mean the married man and telling his wife.

That's a cross he will have to bear.

As far as your boyfriend, I would tell him what happened, because even though you didn't know he was married, you still knew you had a boyfriend.

The right thing is to tell him.

Good luck.

Comment on Enigma1999's post

Thanks for you opinion and your advice!

Comment on omasue's post

I am no home wrecker. I realize what I did was wrong, on both our parts. I know I messed up but I can't go back and change that which is why, I decided to tell my boyfriend that it happened. I am also going to leave my boyfriend due to my unfaithfullness.

I am not ready to be in a committed relationship, considering that I had feeling for someone else. But thanks for your opinion and your advice.

Of course he will not leave his wife, when she turns 18, there will be another excuse.

There always is an excuse.

If he was really going to leave his wife he would now

You're not 'technically' a home wrecker, because he hasn't left his wife, because she doesn't know about you. When she becomes aware that he has been having an affair and kicks his sorry derrierre out to the curb, then you become a home wrecker, and the two of you can live happily ever after in the wake of all the destruction you both leave behind.

But, you two do have a lot in common. You are both lying, and you are both cheating, and you are both deceptive, selfish, and engage in risk taking behaviour that, as you know, goes far beyond being 'sweet' on a married man. Hard to sugar coat what you are doing.

You cannot control, anticipate, accept, or continue to think that he will leave his wife. Nor can he control, anticipate, accept, or continue to think that you will leave your boyfriend. You both just tell each other stuff to justify being together. So not only are you lying to your boyfriend, and he is lying to his wife, you are both lying to each other. Not only that, but neither of you are available, because you are in relationships with other people.

The only person that can steer the direction of your life, is you. If you choose to be involved with a married man, don't turn around and question his honesty. If he chooses to be involved with you, knowing you are involved with another man, he can't turn around and question your honesty.

And if this isn't honest, and a good choice for you, yourself, what makes you think that it can turn out to be a healthy relationship, three years down the road, 2 months down the road, six years down the road.

Nothing good can ever come of having an affair, because that which brings you together, can never suddenly change the essential types of people you are. When you make choices to cross the lines you have crossed, breaking trust, putting a wedge in another woman's marriage, then the consequences are what they are.

Not to say that the minute you dump him, he won't have another woman in his life on the side, but, do you really want to be in that position in the first place?

Comment on Jake2008's post

Wow... Thank you for your opinion and advice! As I had said earlier, I do understand that the whole thing is and was wrong. I have decided not to tell his wife. But I have told my boyfriend. I also broke up with him due to my unfaithfullness.

I totally know that I messed up and need to work on myself before jumping into any other relationship. Or being with someone. As for the married guy I told him how I felt and that I had decided I couldn't talk to him anymore.

I really did feel like a home wrecker. My (ex) boyfriend has taken the liberty to tell the guys wife.

I love happy endings, when people get what the deserve. :) That's justice.

It's good that you have come to your senses and stopped this mess, but your boy friend had no right to tell that man's wife. Did he know this couple?
How old are you two?