I gave up my son(Patrick) for adoption, 20yrs. Ago=his b-day is Feb.16,1987,
Mercy Hospital, Urbana, ILL.
can ANYBODY help me find him ?

Sincerely,
'Patrick's' b-mom,
Lori

My personal suggestion and you may already have done that is to post your information on as many connectoin sites as you can find,

And send a letter to be put in the adoption file of the courthouse in the file where the adoption took place.

I am not big on reunions, the child got a new family, he has parents, and one has to respect the feelings of the adoptive parents who to me are the real parents since they raised the child.

But if both parties post info and discover each other that way, there is not as much being expected as with many searches

OK I was adpoted and I don't think you should do this we all have to opetion to go and ask about you down at chaildern searcives or were you guys went and if we really wanted to see them we we go but maybe he dident no I would folo this guys adive to he seems smart gl

OK I think you people mis under stood what I was saying I said we as adopted children get the option to go down to children services or what ever place does it for you they then tell you a lot about your parents brith ones I myself got a address and phone number but I never did see my mom I am sorry you all mis under stood me and I am sry I am not able to spell very well we all have are strong points

Records are sealed and identifying information kept confidential in most states, so her child may not be able to get any information and may be searching as well.

To the OP, there are many reunion help sites and organizations, but I am not very current on them. Search this forum for similar posts as resources have been given to others that seemed very helpful.

ETA: This site has been recommended by someone I respect.

Good luck!

Hi, I am a little confused as to how Children's Services will be able to provide non-id information to you, unless they handled the adoption services.
Most placement's of adoptee's are handled through an adoption agency. You usually need to request the information in writing, pay a fee, and receive some information from the original case file that is non-identifying. Unless one or all parties have signed a confidentiality release statement. Some states have open records, while others do not. Some have court appointed investigators that for a fee, you can receive information and or contact through if the parties wish contact or not. Some states have registries. Where an individual can register for reunion and or information. Most adoptee's find themselves perplexed with not knowing their medical history information. Or heritage. Or birth religion. I believe it is a personal issue. An issue of choice.
Most adults handle rejection in their lives with lovers or friends. I believe in the event of a request for non contact by any party in the triad in WRITING, is acceptable. Yet if that party wished to provide the information related to the stated above, it may help the adoptee in their future. Or even their children's future. Genetics is fundamentally unchangeable. Even if the parent is in this world. Did you know that men can trace their Y chromosomes DNA now back for centuries? Therefore, in the unfortuante event of finding a non receptive party or birth parent to provide this important information, it maybe possible to skip that generation and research the genetic links to ones past in another avenue. But it would help those who wonder to know "their beginnings". Or how they have come to live with their Mom and Dad. Whatever the reason, whatever the outcome an adoptee has unanswered questions in their lives. And some courts deam us forever children by not allowing up THE CHOICE to know. Or not to know. I believe that if a birth parents wishes no contact whatsoever, they will put it in writing.
As an adult, no longer a child, I want to justice of choice.
Some adoption agencies will not give you correct information, if one was used. There have been millions of private adoptions. But all it takes is two caring hearts to find one another. And now with the help of the internet, it is only 2 degree's of separation between them and finding each other.
Calling Children's Services may or maynot get you some of your answers. It depends if you were relinquished and or taken away from your natural parents. Either way, you have a right to know. Your life or the life of your children may depend upon receiving a yes or no to contact. If even once.
If you are searching, start with adoption.com. Register with their registry. Then join a support group that is in the state you were born into and the state you were adopted into. Learn the laws that govern that individual state for adoption. If you were born in an open record state, it may be as simple as a phone call for your information. But more than likely this will not be the case.
Remember, as an adult you are all grown up now to make your own decisions. How to work. Who to hang out with. Join the war. Vote, etc. You should as well have a choice to contact the person or person's who provided your breath. And not feel guilt from the person or person's who provided your world through the years. As an adoptee you have 4 parents. The ones that gave you life and the ones that provided life to you. To me, all of mine are special to my world. They are apart of me. My biological mother and father's blood runs through my veins. And my adoptive Mom and Dad live within the core of my heart and mind. I am part of all of them.